My Dark Places

Dan Coffey left her. Jean took it bad. She brooded and chased men. She liked rough boys. Some of them looked like gangsters or hoodlum riffraff.

Jean graduated in May ’37. She was now a registered nurse. She got a full-time job at West Suburban. She moved out of the dorm. Jean Atchison found an apartment in Oak Park. She asked Jean and Mary Evans to move in with her. Mary had her own bedroom. Jean shared a bedroom with Jean Atchison. They slept in the same bed.

Mary’s boyfriend got Jean a watchdog gig. She had to drive two elderly drunks to New York City. The wife was dying of cancer. Her husband wanted to take her to Europe before she checked out. Jean was supposed to keep them sober and transport them to the boat.

The job was a pain in the ass. The drunks wandered off at rest stops. Jean found bottles in their luggage and emptied them. The drunks scrounged up more liquor. Jean capitulated. She encouraged them to pass out and let her drive in peace. She reached Manhattan. She dumped the drunks at the dock. The husband said he had a hotel suite booked in his name. She could rest up there before she drove back to Chicago.

Jean found the hotel and checked in. She met an artist there. He drew a charcoal sketch of Jean in the nude. They had a few wild days together. Jean called Jean Atchison and Mary Evans and told them to come to the Apple. They could stay in her suite until somebody kicked them out. Jean Atchison and Mary rounded up another nurse named Nancy Kirkland. Nancy had a car. They drove to New York and raised hell with Jean. They parried for four or five days.

The girls went back to Chicago. Mary moved out of the apartment. Her boyfriend set her up in her own place. Jean Atchison saw an ad for a glamour contest. It was sponsored by Elmo Beauty Products. They wanted to find four women. They wanted to crown them the “Most Charming” Blonde, Brunette, Grayhead and Redhead. They wanted to fete them and send them to Hollywood. Jean Atchison sent in an application and a picture of Jean Hilliker. She didn’t tell Jean. She knew Jean wouldn’t approve.

Jean won the contest. She was now America’s Most Charming Redhead. She got mad at Jean Atchison. Her anger subsided. She flew to L.A. on 12/12/38. She met the other Most Charming ladies. They spent a week in L.A. They stayed at the Ambassador Hotel. They got $1,000 apiece. They saw the sights. Talent scouts perused them. Jean took a screen test. The Tomah paper ran a piece on the Most Charming Redhead. She was “a quiet, unassuming and very attractive young lady.”

Jean returned to Chicago. The trip was fun. She made some money. She liked California. The screen test was fun and no more. She didn’t want to be a movie star.

It was 1939. Jean turned 24 in April. Aunt Norma ditched her husband. She took up with another local pastor. They left Tomah forever. Norma lost track of Jean. They never saw each other again. Jean lost track of Mary Evans. They never saw each other again. Leoda Hilliker married Ed Wagner on 6/7/39. Jean attended the wedding in Madison, Wisconsin. Jean had a lover or lovers then. She got pregnant. She called Mary’s boyfriend and asked him to abort her. He refused. Jean aborted herself. She killed the fetus and hemorrhaged. She called Mary’s boyfriend. He treated her. He did not report the abortion.

Jean moved to Los Angeles. She might have met the Spalding man there. They were married somewhere. It wasn’t Chicago. It wasn’t in L.A. County, Orange County, San Diego County, Ventura County, Las Vegas or Reno. Bill Stoner checked marriage records in all those locations. Janet Klock found some old notes. They pertained to the split-rail-fence portraits. My mother wrote the notes. She said the pictures were taken near Mount Charleston, Nevada. My mother alluded to “we.” She wore a wedding ring. They looked like honeymoon photos. The Hilliker- Spalding marriage could not be verified. Leoda never met the Spalding man. Jean’s friends never met the Spalding man. Nobody knew his first name. Two men qualified as heirs to the Spalding sporting goods fortune. One man died in World War I. The surviving son was named Keith Spalding. Bill Stoner could not link him to my mother. She might have married him. She might have married a Spalding with no blood ties to the Spaldings. The marriage was brief. Five witnesses confirmed that fact or rumor. Bill found a Geneva Spalding in the ’39 L.A. directory. Her occupation was listed as “Maid.” Her address was 852 Bedford in West Los Angeles. The ’39 directories came out in ’40. She had time to marry and divorce Mr. Spalding. She had time to find work and an apartment of her own.

Earle Hilliker died in 1940. He checked out behind pneumonia. Jean Hilliker was listed in the ’41 L.A. book. She was a stenographer. She lived at 854 South Harvard. She’d moved east to the Wilshire District. She was probably working toward her nurse’s certification.

And a rendezvous with my father.

My father moved to San Diego after World War I. He told me that. He was a liar. All his statements were suspect. Bill Stoner checked old San Diego directories. He found my father in the ’26 book. He was listed as a deputy county auditor. He held the job through 1929. He was a salesman in ’30. He managed a hotel in ’31. He worked at the U.S. Grant Hotel for the next four years. He was a house detective and an assistant auditor. He changed jobs in ’35. He became a salesman. He worked for A.M. Fidelity. He wasn’t listed in the ’36 or ’37 book. He was listed in the ’37 L.A. directory. His occupation was not listed. He lived at 2819 Leeward. He was listed at the same address in ’38 and ’39. 2819 Leeward was Central L.A. It was four miles east of Geneva Spalding’s ’39 address. The ’40 book listed my father at 2845 West 27th. The ’41 book listed him at 408 South Burlington. The address was a mile and a half from Jean Hilliker’s ’41 address.

My father married a woman in San Diego. The date was 12/22/34. Her name was Mildred Jean Feese. She came from Nebraska. My father “willfully deserted” her on 6/5/41. She filed for divorce on 9/11/44. She said my father treated her in a “cruel and inhuman manner, which caused this plaintifif grievous mental suffering and distress, resulting in her becoming extremely nervous, suffering physical anguish, and becoming physically ill.”

My father received a court summons. He did not appear in court. A default decree was filed on 11/20/44. The divorce was finalized on 11/27/45. The marriage produced no children. The final decree did not mention alimony payments.

My father was listed in the ’41 book. He deserted his wife on 6/5/41. Mildred Jean Ellroy was listed in the ’42 book. She lived at 6901/2 South Catalina. Jean Hilliker was listed in the ’42 book. She was listed as a nurse. She lived at 5481/4 South New Hampshire. It was three blocks from 6901/2 South Catalina. My father said he lived with my mother at 8th and New Hampshire. He said they lived there when Pearl Harbor was bombed. His memory was spotty. They lived three blocks north at 5th and New Hampshire.

Bill and I reconstructed the probable events.

My father met the redhead in 1941. He met her in LA. He deserted his wife. He moved in with Jean Hilliker. He ran from a woman. He ran to a woman. The jilted woman gave up the pad she shared with him. She moved to a pad three blocks away from her husband’s love nest. The move was coincidental or spitefully planned.

Maybe she stalked my father.

Maybe she moved three blocks away to punish herself.