asylum.
To tell the truth, I was embarrassed but I was pretty sore myself. I started shouting at her. I said it was her own fault because she wouldn't suck me off. Then I stormed out of the house and went to the nearest bar to get drunk. Actually, I guess I just wanted to get out of the house so I wouldn't have to look at her accusing face. Even after a half dozen drinks, I knew that she was right and I was wrong. So I went back home and begged her to forgive me. I went through the whole bit, dragging in the marriage manuals to show that what I wanted from her was considered all right and wouldn't be so bad if she tried it. All the while, she gave me the silent treatment. I was pretty pooped by that time anyway, so I just got undressed and went to bed.
I don't know what time it was, but it was still dark outside when I woke feeling very good. I could tell that I had a hard on, and in the darkness of the bedroom someone was mouthing my dick. I could tell it was Rosa. She didn't seem to enthusiastic about it, but at least she was trying. I'm generally. a pretty heavy sleeper, and I guessed she was practicing on me, thinking I wouldn't wake up. So I pretended I was still asleep, because I was enjoying it and didn't want to get embarrassed and stop what she was doing.
Right about then I was feeling no pain, that's for sure. I was thinking now that Rosa had started doing this to me, I'd really have myself a good sex life. Of course' I knew she was probably only doing it to keep me away from the kid, but that was okay. I didn't care what her reasons were for doing it, just as long as she did it. And she was doing it now, not too well, but well enough. I could feel her warm lips, the hot cavity of her mouth as I slipped in and out, in and out, the tip of my dick touching her tongue each time it went in.
When I started to come, she tried to move away, but I reached down and held her head. I could see her eyes widen and she pushed against me, trying to get free. But I held her tightly and thrust my dick deep into her mouth and came.
Then I sighed relief and let go of her head. She got up off the bed staggered out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, where she threw up into the toilet. I could hear her muttering curses and what a filthy pig I was, and then she gargled her mouth out about a dozen times. I remembered thinking, just before I dropped off into a contented sleep, that I'd have to stop at the drug store and get lots of mouthwash.
That's what I thought, but I was wrong. Sure, during the months that followed, she kept going' down on me-but only when I really went after her and demanded it. And even then it wasn't as good as it should have been. What bothered me the most was that every time she did it, she kept gagging like she was going to throw up allover me, and afterward we did go into the bathroom and get sick. I started resenting her attitude, but I didn't know what I was going to do about it.
That is, I didn't until one day when my wife Rosa was out visiting her mother. She'd decided that since she was making the big sacrifice, I'd leave little Liz alone. The kid was walking around now, and this time she stopped right in front of my spread legs where I was sitting, reached out to steady herself-and touched me in front. I could feel her warm palm move against my dick even through the cloth, and I couldn't help but wonder if she'd like a toy to play with that she hadn't seen for awhile.
Before I could even think to talk myself out of it, I'd unzipped my fly and pulled my dick out. Liz was at just about the right height to examine it, which she did with both hands, turning it this way and that, squeezing it. I started getting hard right in her hands, and she seemed pleased with what was happening.
And then she did with all her toys. She put it in her mouth…
I know a lot of people would think it was a rotten, dirty thing for me to do to an innocent child. But it was that very innocence which attracted me. My wife Rosa sucked me off but didn't really know what it was all about: and that seemed for some to make it all the sexier.
So I'd started in again. I let Rosa alone more often after that, and I guess that's what made her get suspicious. Now that Liz was older and couldn't mistake my stiff dick for her-bottle nipple, her attention drifted from playing with the new toy. Besides that, the taste of it seemed unappetizing to her. What she did like, though, was grape Jelly, which my wife used to spread on toast for her every morning. That's how I got the Idea to take a knife and spread a little of the Jelly over my dick and touch her lips with it. After that, I never had any trouble having her suck and lick it.
And it was one afternoon when she was doing that, that Rosa come into the room and discovered us.'
The subject then reported how his understandably irate wife grabbed up the knife he'd used to jelly his sex organ and tried to castrate him with it. She failed in the attempt, but she did institute divorce proceedings against the man threatening to bring out the facts in court unless he sought competent psychological treatment. Aware of the social stigma inherent in the act he'd committed and criminal aspect of it, the subject readily agreed, and is currently undergoing analysis.
This may be an extreme case, but it does serve to illustrate the compulsive nature of many sex acts. While there is an obvious undercurrent of guilt and anxiety in the subject at present, he insists on rationalizing his behavior in that his wife refuses him, so he merely utilized a substitute. There is undoubtedly more to his motivations than this, ego his background, family life, sexual experiences and lack of them, etc. But delving into these matters is not our concern at this point and is more suitable for the psychiatrist's couch.
As mentioned, the case may be extreme, but it is not unique. Many other similar instances came to light, with variations on the same theme. For example, a reverse instance came during an interview when a young mother freely admitted that she kissed her infant son 'all over,' which included his testicles and penis, and eyen sucked on him because it pleased him. She regarded this activity, however, as a mere show of affection and not of any psychological significance.
If she is serious about this, there is certainly cultural precedence for it. There are known primitive societies existing today in which the people as a matter of course fondle, caress, and kiss the genitals of both male and female infants, apparently to instill in them a sexual confidence that may serve them in good stead during their later, pubescent years.
It is significant that the Kinsey Institute discovered that most sex offenders with very young children are not dirty old men lurking on dark street corners, but persons the children knows, often suppose-and of course this includes oral sex, which the individual may feel safer, since it does not involve rupturing a girl's hymen or otherwise injuring her in any way.
The male who desires getting his sexual kicks this way may, as in the instance cited in some detail, take advantage of a girl so young she doesn't realize the object of her affection is a part of the man. In later life, when some awareness does come, a man must use other subterfuges. One case which came to light was that of an uncle living with the family, which included a young couple and their six year old daughter.
The uncle was frequently left alone with the young girl, the parents taking advantage of their having a 'built- in babysitter.' Both the girl and the older man-he was in his early forties-seemed to like each other very much and got along very well.
The uncle got into the habit of insisting the girl take a bath before going to bed, and he'd even take the soap and lather her all over with it-all over, including up between her legs. The girl was used to being nude in front of him so she didn't mind him doing that, or him drying her with a towel, or putting her on the bed where he'd play little games with her. One of his favorite games was, 'I'll kiss it better.' The girl, being quite active, was constantly getting tiny bruises on her body, and-the uncle would see these and sympathize by putting his mouth on the wound.
He'd pretend sometimes that a freckle was a sore spot, and he'd kiss it better. Sometimes he'd even imagine she had a bruise way up between her legs which she couldn't see, and he'd put his head between her legs and kiss the inside of her thighs. She thought it was funny when he kissed her navel so that it would heal up. Of course she was a little embarrassed when he spread open her legs and pointed to, as she later told authorities, 'the place where I make water.'
She went on, 'He said that I'd had that cut up between my legs for a long time and it never healed up. He said he knew just what would do the trick, and before I could say anything he put his head down between my legs-I was on the bed at the time just after taking my bath, and he was kneeling on the floor beside the bed-and I started giggling because his beard scratched and tickled me.
Then I felt him kiss me way up on my legs, and then he planted a real juicy one right on the place he said he would. It felt-well, sort of funny. I didn't mind it exactly, but then nobody had ever done that to me before, not even daddy or mommy. I thought he'd stop then, but he didn't. He kept kissing me there harder and harder, and then his tongue touched me right in the center and forced inside.
I started getting a little nervous, so I told him that I was tired and mommy and daddy would be home pretty
