CHAPTER III
'I never liked her,' said the Old Maid; 'I always knew she was heartless.'
'To my thinking,' said the Minor Poet, 'she has shown herself a true woman.'
'Really,' said the Woman of the World, laughing, 'I shall have to nickname you Dr. Johnson Redivivus. I believe, were the subject under discussion, you would admire the coiffure of the Furies. It would occur to you that it must have been naturally curly.'
'It is the Irish blood flowing in his veins,' I told them. 'He must always be 'agin the Government.''
'We ought to be grateful to him,' remarked the Philosopher. 'What can be more uninteresting than an agreeable conversation I mean, a conversation?where everybody is in agreement? Disagreement, on the other hand, is stimulating.'
'Maybe that is the reason,' I suggested, 'why modern society is so tiresome an affair. By tabooing all difference of opinion we have eliminated all zest from our intercourse. Religion, sex, politics?any subject on which man really thinks, is scrupulously excluded from all polite gatherings. Conversation has become a chorus; or, as a writer wittily expressed it, the pursuit of the obvious to no conclusion. When not occupied with mumbling, 'I quite agree with you'?'As you say'?'That is precisely my opinion'?we sit about and ask each other riddles: 'What did the Pro-Boer?' 'Why did Julius Caesar?''
'Fashion has succeeded where Force for centuries has failed,' added the Philosopher. 'One notices the tendency even in public affairs. It is bad form nowadays to belong to the Opposition. The chief aim of the Church is to bring itself into line with worldly opinion. The Nonconformist Conscience grows every day a still smaller voice.'
'I believe,' said the Woman of the World, 'that was the reason why Emily never got on with poor dear George. He agreed with her in everything. She used to say it made her feel such a fool.'
'Man is a fighting animal,' explained the Philosopher. 'An officer who had been through the South African War was telling me only the other day: he was with a column, and news came in that a small commando was moving in the neighbourhood. The column set off in the highest of spirits, and after three days' trying work through a difficult country came up with, as they thought, the enemy. As a matter of fact, it was not the enemy, but a troop of Imperial Yeomanry that had lost its way. My friend informs me that the language with which his column greeted those unfortunate Yeomen?their fellow countrymen, men of their own blood?was most unsympathetic.'
'Myself, I should hate a man who agreed with me,' said the Girton Girl.
'My dear,' replied the Woman of the World, 'I don't think any would.'
'Why not?' demanded the Girton Girl.
'I was thinking more of you, dear,' replied the Woman of the World.
'I am glad you all concur with me,' murmured the Minor Poet. 'I have always myself regarded the Devil's Advocate as the most useful officer in the Court of Truth.'
'I remember being present one evening,' I observed, 'at a dinner-party where an eminent judge met an equally eminent K. C.; whose client the judge that very afternoon had condemned to be hanged. 'It is always a satisfaction,' remarked to him genially the judge, 'condemning any prisoner defended by you. One feels so absolutely certain he was guilty.' The K. C. responded that he should always remember the judge's words with pride.'
'Who was it,' asked the Philosopher, 'who said: 'Before you can attack a lie, you must strip it of its truth'?'
'It sounds like Emerson,' I ventured.
'Very possibly,' assented the Philosopher; 'very possibly not. There is much in reputation. Most poetry gets attributed to Shakespeare.'
'I entered a certain drawing-room about a week ago,' I said. ''We were just speaking about you,' exclaimed my hostess. 'Is not this yours?' She pointed to an article in a certain magazine lying open on the table. 'No,' I replied; 'one or two people have asked me that same question. It seems to me rather an absurd article,' I added. 'I cannot say I thought very much of it,' agreed my hostess.'
'I can't help it,' said the Old Maid. 'I shall always dislike a girl who deliberately sells herself for money.'
'But what else is there to sell herself for?' asked the Minor Poet.
'She should not sell herself at all,' retorted the Old Maid, with warmth. 'She should give herself, for love.'
'Are we not in danger of drifting into a difference of opinion concerning the meaning of words merely?' replied the Minor Poet. 'We have all of us, I suppose, heard the story of the Jew clothier remonstrated with by the Rabbi for doing business on the Sabbath. 'Doing bithness!' retorted the accused with indignation; 'you call thelling a thuit like that for eighteen shillings doing bithness! By, ith's tharity!' This 'love' for which the maiden gives herself?let us be a little more exact?does it not include, as a matter of course, material more tangible? Would not the adored one look somewhat astonished on discovering that, having given herself for 'love,' love was all that her lover proposed to give for her. Would she not naturally exclaim: 'But where's the house, to say nothing of the fittings? And what are we to live on'?'
'It is you now who are playing with words,' asserted the Old Maid. 'The greater includes the less. Loving her, he would naturally desire?'
'With all his worldly goods her to endow,' completed for her the Minor Poet. 'In other words, he pays a price for her. So far as love is concerned, they are quits. In marriage, the man gives himself to the woman as the woman gives herself to the man. Man has claimed, I am aware, greater liberty for himself; but the claim has always been vehemently repudiated by woman. She has won her case. Legally and morally now husband and wife are bound by the same laws. This being so, her contention that she gives herself falls to the ground. She exchanges herself. Over and above, she alone of the twain claims a price.'
'Say a living wage,' corrected the Philosopher. 'Lazy rubbish lolls in petticoats, and idle stupidity struts in trousers. But, class for class, woman does her share of the world's work. Among the poor, of the two it is she who labours the longer. There is a many-versed ballad popular in country districts. Often I have heard it sung in shrill, piping voice at harvest supper or barn dance. The chorus runs -
A man's work 'tis till set of sun, But a woman's work is never done!
'My housekeeper came to me a few months ago,' said the Woman of the World, 'to tell me that my cook had given notice. 'I am sorry to hear it,' I answered; 'has she found a better place?' 'I am not so sure about that,' answered Markham; 'she's going as general servant.' 'As general servant!' I exclaimed. 'To old Hudson, at the coal wharf,' answered Markham. 'His wife died last year, if you remember. He's got seven children, poor man, and no one to look after them.' 'I suppose you mean,' I said, 'that she's marrying him.' 'Well, that's the way she puts it,' laughed Markham. 'What I tell her is, she's giving up a good home and fifty pounds a year, to be a general servant on nothing a week. But they never see it.''
'I recollect her,' answered the Minor Poet, 'a somewhat depressing lady. Let me take another case. You possess a remarkably pretty housemaid?Edith, if I have it rightly.'
'I have noticed her,' remarked the Philosopher. 'Her manners strike me as really quite exceptional.'
'I never could stand any one about me with carroty hair,' remarked the Girton Girl.
'I should hardly call it carroty,' contended the Philosopher. 'There is a golden tint of much richness underlying, when you look closely.'
'She is a very good girl,' agreed the Woman of the World; 'but I am afraid I shall have to get rid of her. The other woman servants don't get on with her.'
'Do you know whether she is engaged or not?' demanded the Minor Poet.
'At the present moment,' answered the Woman of the World, 'she is walking out, I believe, with the eldest son of the 'Blue Lion.' But she is never adverse to a change. If you are really in earnest about the matter?'
'I was not thinking of myself,' said the Minor Poet. 'But suppose some young gentleman of personal attractions equal to those of the 'Blue Lion,' or even not quite equal, possessed of two or three thousand a year, were to enter the lists, do you think the 'Blue Lion' would stand much chance?'
'Among the Upper Classes,' continued the Minor Poet, 'opportunity for observing female instinct hardly exists. The girl's choice is confined to lovers able to pay the price demanded, if not by the beloved herself, by those acting on her behalf. But would a daughter of the Working Classes ever hesitate, other things being equal, between Mayfair and Seven Dials?'
