'Yes. And that's why you did this monstrous thing. For love.
Bluffing won't do any good. I know everything. I've seen the pictures.'
Matthew's eyes widened. 'What pictures?'
'I was in your study.'
Matthew's face was suffused with rage. He rose halfway out of his chair.
'You were in my rooms? You dared to go through my private papers?'
Tracy was so drained that she could not feel fear or anger or even sorrow any longer.
'Was that worse than what you did, skulking in the dark, violating every rule of decency, because of your obsession? Peeping in Abbie's windows, raping her with your camera?'
Tracy stopped. Matthew sank back into his chair as if he had been slapped.
'Why?' Tracy asked, fighting back tears. 'Why, Matt?'
Matthew looked out at the rain. For a moment, Tracy was afraid he would dismiss her. Then, in a voice that sounded as if it came from a distance, Matthew said, 'She would never . . . It was my only chance.
My only chance. And . . . And he would have murdered her if I hadn't stopped him. It was the only way to protect her.'
Matthew leaned back and closed his eyes.
'Have you any idea what it was like for me, growing up with a mother who killed herself, the stigma of being a murderer's son, and this face? I had no friends and the idea of a woman loving me was so alien I never ever let myself consider it, because I couldn't stand the pain it would bring me. My only escape was into my imagination and my only salvation was my mission.
'Then I saw Abbie. She was prosecuting Charlie Deems. I had dropped in to watch the trial because Deems wanted to hire me and I was curious to see how his case was being tried. She was so radiant I was struck dumb.
I followed her that very first day. I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
That night all of my defenses crashed and I saw myself for what I was. A pathetic little man so frightened of the world that I used my father's death as an excuse to keep from living. I was less than human. I was an animal burrowing deep into the ground, afraid of the light. And that light was life itself. And I realized that life was meaningless without love.'
Matthew leaned forward, desperate for understanding.
'Do you know what it's like knowing that everything you do must be perfect or someone will die? I never sleep peacefully. The fear that I'll make a mistake makes it impossible. Until I saw Abbie, I coped by fooling myself. I truly believed in my mission. I was like a religious zealot who can walk barefoot across coals because his faith shields him from the pain. When I saw Abbie, it was like losing my faith in God and suddenly seeing that there is only a void.
'I knew Abbie was my salvation. She was color in a world of grays. Only the thought that she was walking the earth kept me going.
'The week before we went to Atlanta, she told me she was going to the cabin. When Joel Livingstone accepted the plea, I flew home and went to the coast. I camped out in the woods and spent two days with Abbie.'
Matthew colored. He looked away. 'I know what you think.
That I'm twisted, a monster. I am all that, but I couldn't help myself.
It was something I'd been doing ever since I saw her. I never even bothered to rationalize my actions. She was like air to me. Without her I would die.
'Then Deems tried to kill Abbie. I saw him go in the cabin. I was paralyzed. I had to save her, but I had no idea what to do.
When Abbie ran into the woods I followed.
'My father taught me how to move through the forest without making noise. I waited and watched. I saw Deems searching for Abbie. He was so close that he would have seen her if he turned around. I did the only thing I could think of. I used the flash on my camera to distract him. He chased me, but it was easy for me to elude him in the dark. He must have panicked, because he only searched for a short time, then he went to his car.
'Up to this point, I had no idea that it was Deems who had tried to kill Abbie, because he wore a ski mask. I followed him to find out his identity. Deems drove to a bar and made a call. Then he drove to Portland to the far end of a motel parking lot. The lot was deserted, but there were streetlights. I took a photograph of Deems meeting Robert Griffen.'
'I know,' Tracy said. 'I saw the photograph.'
'Then you understand what that meant, Tracy. Griffen had hired Deems to kill Abbie.
'My first thought was to go to the police with my photographs. They would arrest Deems and he would tell them about Griffen. But I couldn't do it. I'd have had to explain why I was in the woods outside Abbie's cabin in the middle of the night. The police would have told Abbie that I was . . . was stalking her.
She would have despised me and I would have lost her forever.
'That's when I first considered killing Justice Griffen. But Deems would still be alive and I wasn't certain about his motivation. Was he helping Griffen just for money or was it also revenge that motivated Deems? The problem seemed insoluble until . . .'
'You realized that you could get rid of Griffen and co-opt Deems,' Tracy said. 'Yes.'
'And you also realized that you could be with Abbie all the time if you were her attorney and she was in jail or under house arrest.'
Reynolds nodded. 'I would be the only one she could confide in. We could meet and talk every day. I hoped that over time she would forget what I look like, and I hoped that when I saved her, she would be grateful enough to . . . to love me.'
'How could you be certain she'd hire you?'
'I couldn't. But I would have volunteered if she hadn't come to me.'
'What if she turned you down?'
Reynolds blushed. 'She would never reject my offer of assistance. I am the best at what I do. Everyone knows that. Abbie always knew that.'
Tracy shook her head. 'What if you misjudged? What if Abbie had been convicted?'
'I would have confessed. But I knew I could control the trial.
Especially with Chuck Geddes prosecuting.'
'You couldn't know that Geddes would assign himself to the case.'
'That was my only sure thing,' Reynolds answered with the tiniest of smiles. 'Chuck Geddes would never turn down a highprofile case like this and a chance to have his revenge on me for his previous humiliations. No, that part of the equation was the simplest.'
'How did you know so much about the bomb?'
'The bomb was of simple construction and I heard Torino testify about it at Deems's trial.'
'And the strip?'
'Deems wanted me to represent him when he was charged with the murder of Hollins and his little girl. Before I decided against taking the case, I looked at the evidence. I saw the strip with the notch. I saw it again when Paul Torino explained its significance at Deems's trial.
'To fool the police, the evidence had to be so convincing that they wouldn't think they needed to conduct more sophisticated tests. I took two pieces of steel from different manufacturers. I checked with the companies to make sure that the composition of the two pieces of steel was different. Then I put the pieces side by side in two vises and I cut them at the same time. I took the front part of the first strip and used it with the bomb. I took the end of the second piece and left it in Abbie's garage after luring her to the rose garden. I knew the strip I used on the bomb would be mangled in the explosion and that the piece in the garage would look enough like a match so that the police wouldn't bother with any other tests.'
'What if Jack Stamm hadn't called Torino to search the house and garage for explosive devices?'
'Deems was supposed to tell the police that Abbie wanted him to make the bomb in her garage. They would have searched it.'
Tracy shook her head. She could not help admiring Reynolds's brilliance even though he had put it to such a twisted purpose. Reynolds was a chessmaster who had thought out every move and anticipated every possible
