“Are you really the force of negative universe response?” Rubin asked the dark-eyed man who had given him so much trouble.
“He is,” said Chiun. “I have labored against this negativity for years now, but only you have been able to spot it.”
“I knew it,” said Rubin. “The negative force coming after my positive force.”
“I want him after me now,” said Beatrice.
“Wait,” said Chiun. “If I am to serve you properly I must admit that your forces are not worthy of such a gracious queen.”
“That was Rubin's idea— calling me a queen. The press fell for it. But I rather liked it.”
“You are a queen,” said Chiun. “I have been working for these white lunatics lo these many years. You alone show the true nature of a queen. You appreciate revenge, I can see.”
“Not revenge, justice,” said Beatrice.
“The best kind,” said Chiun. “Let me know your enemies so that they may grovel at your feet, begging your mercy.”
“This man has a nice ring to him,” said Beatrice.
“I don't know,” said Rubin. “They've come a long way to surrender.”
“It is not surrender,” said Chiun, “when one leaves fools to join with those who understand the universe. We could kill, you know, but that would leave us without a monarch, and what is an assassin without his monarch?”
“Maybe you're playing along so that I won't ruin Western civilization,” said Rubin.
“I never thought much of it anyhow,” said Chiun.
Rubin wheezed and popped another sedative. It had been a long day.
“How do you do that stuff that you do?” asked Rubin.
“How do you do everything?” asked Beatrice.
“Your Majesties,” said Chiun, “your way should not be burdened nor should your way be hard.”
“I'm going to puke,” said Remo in Korean.
“Shut up,” Chiun answered in kind.
“You're mine, young man,” said Beatrice, trying to put a hand on Remo's arm. The arm kept escaping her hand.
“Tell him to be still,” said Beatrice. “If I'm queen I can have everyone in my kingdom.”
“So much for your standards of being an assassin, Little Father. Do you know what they call this service?” asked Remo in Korean. He got a reply in the same tongue.
“She doesn't really care about your body. It's hers she is interested in. Satisfy her.”
“I don't even like touching her.”
“That's all you have to do, just touch.”
“Then you do it,” said Remo. “I'm your son. Is this what you would have your son do?”
“Oh viper, that you should use guilt on the aged, that you should turn morality against him who has given you everything you know and saved your life innumerable times,” said Chiun, and he refused to discuss anything else privately with Remo.
The boy had much to learn.
“Gracious Queen, allow me to awaken you to the wonders of your body,” said Chiun.
“Thanks,” said Rubin, who knew he was off the hook for this afternoon at least.
But he was surprised to see the old Oriental stay right where he was on the roof of their command post and merely rub Beatrice's inner wrists. Beatrice, Rubin could tell, was enjoying one of her major orgasms.
“Seven. Seven. Eight. Nine, Ten ten ten, oooh, ten,” shrieked Beatrice. “Ten, ten. Ten.”
“I'm going to puke,” said Remo.
“Was it good for you, you little sweetheart,” laughed Beatrice. She tried to tweak Chiun's cheek.
“And you, King, that you should suffer such breathing, it is not right,” said Chiun.
“That's okay. You just keep taking care of Beatrice, it'll be fine with me.”
“No,” said Chiun. “You are to receive Sinanju.”
And with that, he reached under the thin white blouse Rubin wore, the one with the extra pockets for the pills.
Rubin jerked up straight. His eyes widened.
“What's that in the air?”
“You're breathing,” said Chiun.
“That's right. A breath. A clean full breath. I had my last one of those the day I snuck behind the barn for my first cigarette,” said Rubin.
Chiun bowed deeply. Remo turned to look at the ocean. He wished the planes would turn, turn around and bomb everything. In the opening moves he had made earlier against Chiun, moves of course never designed to harm, he had agreed after he had obviously lost to go along with Chiun.
Chiun had promised that everything would be all right. Perhaps Remo should have known what “all right” meant. Remo had said there was a world to save. And Chiun had promised not to disgrace Remo. Now he was courting these make-believe kings and queens.
And Remo knew how truly American he was at this point. Because he suspected kings and queens were all frauds. That's why they needed assassins, to keep their relatives at bay and themselves in power. There had to be a better way to select a ruler than some accident of birth, or through fraud like the one Chiun was perpetrating now.
But Remo was not prepared for what he saw now. Rubin wanted to know how Chiun had done that. Chiun answered about forces of the body. Rubin said he knew a lot about those.
“Then you can learn Sinanju,” Chiun said. “You must know it. Your soldiers must know it. Otherwise you will be trapped here forever.”
“You can't teach Sinanju to a wreck,” Remo said in Korean.
“What is that language? What are you talking about?” asked Beatrice.
“He said you were most beautiful,” said Chiun.
“I didn't think he liked me. He was going to suffer for it, of course, but I didn't really think he liked me.”
“Who cannot love such graciousness?” said Chiun.
“Rubin, give this man whatever he wants. We have got to have more Sinanju, whatever that is. More and better. And in the morning, too.”
“You are trapped here,” said Chiun.
“No we're not. The world is trapped. Have you ever heard of Culsark, Nebraska?”
“Of course not,” said Chiun.
“I chose it because it had an open reservoir. Hit the whole town two days ago as a demonstration, but no one noticed because no one else bothers with Culsark, Nebraska. Worked beautifully. Better than the invasion of the Dromoids. Because when I told the President to check, they were already hit by the solution. Have I told you about the solution?”
“No,” said Chiun.
Beatrice, realizing Rubin was going to enjoy himself recounting his victories, went downstairs out of the sun after telling the young white that he would be next.
Remo didn't know which was worse, being downstairs with Beatrice in her boudoir or up on the roof of the command post with Chiun telling Rubin how brilliant he was. The problem was that Rubin did have a good deal of cunning. The whole civilized world was vulnerable to him.
It was then that Chiun told him he didn't need the hostages. Rubin agreed. The hostages were a weak step. One must never use weaker when one had stronger.
Chiun told him he already knew elements of Sinanju. But when Chiun himself began teaching the first steps of breathing to Rubin, and then by some communication network to some nuts called the Warriors of Zor, Remo left the roof of the command post. He wandered over to the hostages, who were holding their final press conference.
“We have learned the other side at last,” said the pilot.
“A deep spiritual communion with our fellowman,” said the spokesman for the hostages.
