The Apocalypse Codex

I blink, bemused, as I open myself up to the world and listen. I can’t taste her mind anywhere around us. It’s as if she’s legged it back through the gate.

Oh.

Well, that royally buggers everything up, doesn’t it?

A quick situational audit tells me that I’m up against: Schiller (no mean sorcerer in his own right), Our Lady of the Lewis gun, no less than six security guards with pistols (two of whom are sitting on Johnny McTavish—for some reason they’re reluctant to damage him), and the goon squad’s boss, Schiller’s head of security.

In the white hats we have: Johnny (out of action), Persephone (out of area, running so fast she’s trailing a sonic boom if she’s got any sense), six assorted Russian Civil War-era zombies (only one of whom has a remotely modern weapon), and Yours Truly.

It’s not looking good. Especially because—now that I try—I can feel the hosts in Schiller’s bodyguards. Alas, they’re too far away to eat. I could try and get closer, but I suspect it would end in tears.

I glance at the camera. It’s up and running, but the case is very scuffed. More worryingly, the battery icon in the top right corner of the display—which is cracked—is flashing red. Either it’s about to run out of juice, or being chucked around the floor has damaged the battery contacts. I look up again. The guards are dragging Johnny to the altar like a very reluctant bride, and the madwoman with the machine gun is staring in my direction, eyes narrowed.

For a stomach-churning instant I think she’s seen me, but then I realize I’m between her and the door that the pile of semi-dismembered feeders came through a minute ago. I’m pinned down, I realize. If I pop up to aim the basilisk gun, it’ll take anything from a tenth of a second to a couple of seconds to lock on to a target; meanwhile, I’m in front of the sights of an automatic weapon. Plus, they’ve got Johnny. And I am not sanguine about killing people I know—especially if they’re human and they’re on my side.

***Fan out,*** I tell my remaining feeders. ***Move forward quietly. They intend to raise the Sleeper. We are going to stop them.***

Then I begin to work my way forward beneath the pews, worming along on my belly like the snake in Schiller’s Garden of Eden.

“DEARLY BELOVED.” SCHILLER CHUCKLES WETLY: “NO, WRONG service. We are gathered here as it is prophesied, to bring about the second coming of the Christ Militant, who with fire and the sword will sweep all before the triumphant armies of his elect, that the unbelievers be cast forever into the fiery lake and the reign of God on Earth be brought about. It is to our eternal regret that we could not complete the planned conversion of the unbelievers, but the atheist servants of the British Government were upon us, greedily spying on our secrets; and so we must bring down the curtain on this aeon of sin and perversion as soon as possible. Shed no tears for them, for their damnation is of their own doing.”

He coughs, then clears his throat noisily and spits to one side of the altar. Then he turns to face the dark- suited guards who hold Johnny before him, in front of the sarcophagus.

“Elder McTavish, the rite of awakening may require the presence of two elders of our bloodline—but only one of them needs to be willing.” Schiller frowns theatrically: “It will go better for you if you are Saved first and take Jesus Christ as your personal savior. What do you say?”

Johnny tenses; the guards hold him down, kneeling before the altar. They’ve handcuffed his wrists behind his back and one of them is in the process of fastening shackles to his ankles. He looks at Schiller with weary contempt. “The thing what’s buried under that stone ain’t Jesus, me old cock. You’ve been ’ad.”

“Really?” Schiller smiles, evidently amused. “I think not, and you’re going to burn in hell for eternity unless you change your mind in the next thirty seconds. But don’t take my word for it; Christ will return and prove me right. Enough idle chatter. Sister, pass me the chalice and the needle.”

There is a large silver goblet on the equipment case by the altar. Roseanne scans the temple again, looking for signs of motion among the pews or in the pile of dismembered body parts by the far entrance: she sees no threat, so she reaches out with her left hand to take the vessel—but her eyes never stop their endless scan of the space before her. It takes her a couple of seconds to find the packet of sterile needles on the top of the Pelikan case by touch alone, but she manages it in the end. Schiller takes a needle and abruptly rams it into the ball of his thumb, squeezing it over the chalice.

“Bring him here, the son of Adam’s other wife,” Schiller calls.

“Fuck you—” Johnny’s sudden struggle is not unexpected, and a rabbit punch to one kidney gives the guards time to bend him over the altar, face-down.

“In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” Schiller intones, “I bequeath this soul unto the tender mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ who sleeps dead but undying beneath this stone.” There is a knife in his hand as he leans forward to cut.

The situation, I decide, is non-survivable.

***Go,*** I tell my minions, and pop up from behind my pew like a kamikaze photography buff.

Shots crack out.

Roseanne, the blonde handmaiden with the gun, fires simultaneously with the skeletal horror I donated my pistol to. She’s fast and practiced, and a crackling trail of bullets smashes the feeder’s rib cage to splinters, then wrecks the arm that holds the pistol.

The feeder’s shot misses.

For a horrified split second I stare down the muzzle of her gun as she points it at me with an expression of frustration rather than hatred on her face: Why won’t these pop-up nuisances just give up and die? she’s wondering. I watch for an eternity, waiting for the fucking camera to display a green gunsight around her, while her gun clicks, once, and a box pops out of one side. She begins to rotate her arm, turning her gun side-down to eject the empty magazine, and just then there’s another gunshot and a red stain splashes the back of her headdress.

“Behold, the Lord will rise again, washed in the blood of the lamb! And the apostate gets his just reward!” Schiller shouts at me, as blood from Johnny’s throat gouts across the sarcophagus, splashing into the chalice. Fury and pride twists his face. “You’re too late!”

***Take out the guards,*** a familiar voice whispers inside my skull.

What the fuck? I spin round and raise the camera, taking aim on the four armed missionaries who are between me and the gate. The red battery icon flashes—

“He’s not yours to kill!” Persephone’s voice rings out.

Then there’s another crash of gunfire as I simultaneously see four green targeting boxes appear on the camera’s display and click the shutter button—

I’ve never looked directly into a basilisk gun’s target before. It’s a major design fail; I shall have stern words with Pinky when I get out of here.

***Go to the gate, Howard, go now.***

I shake my head, unable to see past the green blotches and purple outlines of the four guards, frozen in the crackling flares of magnesium-bright light that have etched them into my retinas. There are more shots. I realize that staying upright isn’t a good idea, so I sit down hard, feeling dizzy.

***Schiller’s down. I’ll rescue Johnny.*** Persephone’s in take-no-prisoners mode, going by the icily professional feel of her thought.

***Johnny’s dead—I saw Schiller cut his throat—***

***—It won’t be the first time I’ve had to raise him. Go!***

Everything is very confusing when you’re half blind and in the middle of a firefight, but I could swear the bench is shaking beneath me.

***What about you? Don’t you need a hand?***

A blast wave ripples through me, like a giant door slamming in the near distance. I hear more shots.

***I’ll be fine.*** And I can sense the belief in her mind, a solid rock of self-confidence sufficient to hole a battleship. ***You’re out of your depth. Go, now!***

I don’t have to be told a fourth time. I stumble towards the gate, fumbling my way past the pews of long-