Death of a Doxy (Crime Line)

'You like to give odds. What are the odds?'

'For a bet, even money, and I'll take either end. That's ignoring my personal preference. I would prefer it that he didn't. I would rather not see a headline Nero Wolfe's assistant convicted of homicide – and so would you. People who read only headlines might think it was me.'

'You refuse to resolve it.'

'I do.'

'Then get Saul and Fred here as soon as possible.'

Chapter 3

At a quarter to ten Wolfe was making a speech. Saul Panzer, five feet seven, 145 pounds, big nose and flat ears, hair the color of rust but not rusty, was in the red leather chair with a bottle of Montrachet 1958 on the stand and a glass with a stem in his hand. Fred Durkin, five feet ten, 190 pounds, bald and burly, was on one of the yellow chairs facing Wolfe's desk, with a bottle of Canadian and a pitcher of water handy. He hadn't touched the water. I had no refreshment. Fritz had been gone since early afternoon on his own affairs, and Wolfe and I had helped ourselves around seven o'clock, concentrating mainly on a block of headcheese. I have spent a total of at least ten hours watching Fritz make headcheese, trying to find out why it is so much better than any other I have ever tasted, including what my mother used to make out in Ohio, but finally I gave up. It could be the way he holds the spoon when he skims.

Saul and Fred had been thoroughly briefed on the situation, except for one item, the name of the man who had rescued Isabel Kerr from show business. Orrie wouldn't have liked that, but he had told Parker that he wanted me to decide how to handle it, and if they were going to vote they had to know the facts. The name of the fairy godfather didn't matter. When they had asked a few questions and had been answered, Wolfe started his speech.

'It is not merely a question,' he said, 'of devising an effective defense. If Orrie killed that woman to prevent her from interfering with his private plans, I am not obliged to thwart the agents of justice and neither are you. Sympathy with misfortune, certainly, but not contravention of Nemesis. Mr. Parker is a competent lawyer, and it can be left to him. But if he didn't kill her I have an obligation I can't ignore. I am constrained not only by his long association with me but also by my self-esteem. You must know that I have no affection for him; he has frequently vexed me; he has not the dignity of a man who has found his place and occupies it, as you have, Fred; nor the integrity of one who knows his superiority but restricts it to areas that are acceptable to him, as you have, Saul. But if he didn't kill that woman, I intend to deliver him.'

He turned a palm up. 'The question is, did he? Having no firm opinion of my own, and no basis for one, I asked Archie. I thought he would at least have odds, one way or the other. He always has odds, but he failed me. He said that for a bet it was even money. Archie? That was four hours ago. Now?'

I shook my head. 'I still pass. Damn it, go ahead and start something and see what we get!'

'No. We would be committed and make mistakes. Fred. You have known Orrie longer than I have. The situation has been fully described to you. What do you say?'

'Jesus,' Fred said.

'That doesn't help. He would merely tell him to go and sin no more. Did he kill her?'

Fred put his glass down and shifted in his chair. He looked at Saul, then at me, and back at Wolfe. 'It's too tough,' he said. 'Have I got it straight? If we decide he killed her you lay off and it's up to Parker. If we decide he didn't, you try to prove it, and of course the only way to prove it would be to find out who did and nail him. Is that it?'

'Yes.'

'Then I say he didn't.'

'Is that your considered opinion?'

'To be honest, no. The only way I could be sure he killed her would be if he confessed, and Orrie never would. But we know Orrie. He has always done whatever he felt like with women, and they let him. I mean they couldn't help it. But now apparently it's hit him and he wants to get hitched. So if this Isabel Kerr got in his way, really blocked him… well, I don't know. I mean I think I really do know. But you called us in to help you decide, didn't you?'

'Yes.'

'Then I say no. He didn't.'

Wolfe didn't even frown at him. Such a contribution from me would have got what I deserved, but he knows how Fred's mind works, and he had asked for it. He merely said, 'That is hardly decisive,' and turned his head. 'Saul?'

'No,' Saul said. 'To put it the way Archie would, one will get you twenty that he didn't kill her.'

'Indeed.' Wolfe was surprised. 'An opinion, or a gesture?'

'Call it a conclusion. Make it fifty to one. I'm not saying I'm superior to Archie. Since he knows everything I know, you may wonder why he didn't settle it, but that's obvious. He couldn't see it because he's involved personally. He's not conceited enough.'

'Pfui. This is flummery.'

'No, sir. I'll spell it out. First, say Orrie planned it. When he was with Archie, Friday evening, he intended to go there in the morning and kill her, and when Archie went in the afternoon, with gloves and keys, he