They found the Coopers bunched at the back of the attack force, looking tiny and ridiculous. But they were functioning automobiles. As far as Mortimer was concerned, they might as well have been Cadillacs.
“Who’s in charge here?” Mortimer shouted at the first line of Coopers.
A square-jawed man stuck his head out of the driver’s side of the lead car. Three-day stubble, a cigar smoldering in his kisser. “I’m in charge of Yellow Group. What do you want?”
“Malcolm said you guys might have a job opportunity.”
“Not us. Try Blue Group.”
They went to the next line of MINI Coopers and yelled for the leader.
The driver’s door of a glossy blue Cooper opened, and a lithe woman stepped out. She wore leather, hair standing up in wild burgundy spikes, a black patch over one eye. “Well, you just never know who you’re going to meet along a sorry stretch of highway.”
It took Mortimer a split second to recognize her. “Tyler!”
Bill whooped, and they rushed forward, shaking her hand and patting her on the back. She held up her hands, fended off a flurry of confused questions.
“One at a time.”
“How did you get away from the cannibals?” Bill asked.
“Same as you two,” Tyler said. “I ran my ass off and didn’t look back.”
Mortimer grinned. “So you decided to sign on with Armageddon, eh?”
“I’ve always worked for Armageddon,” Tyler said. “Who do you think owned the Muscle Express?”
A man popped his head through the sunroof of another Cooper, holding a set of headphones to one ear. “They’re starting engines, boss. We’d better crank ’em up.”
“Good seeing you’re alive,” Tyler said. “Got to go.”
“Wait,” Mortimer said. “Malcolm said you might have room for us.”
Tyler nodded. “I have room in my car. Jimmy needs a gunner too.” She pointed to the Cooper all the way at the end of the line.
Sheila elbowed her way into the conversation. “Me too.”
“Don’t need anyone else,” Tyler said.
“I’m
“You can sit in the passenger side of my car,” Tyler said. “But if you get in the way of my driving, I’ll pull over and dump your ass on the side of the road.”
Bill laughed. “That’s the charm school dropout I remember.”
THE ROAD WARRIORS
LI
The semithunderous whine of fifty-one Toyota hybrids and ten MINI Coopers flying south on I-75 was surprisingly impressive. Mortimer had not traveled this fast in years. Even the Muscle Express hadn’t topped more than forty miles per hour. The MINI Cooper, with the steely-eyed Tyler behind the wheel, ate up the highway at seventy.
“Isn’t this a little fast for this fog?” Mortimer asked.
“Advance scouting reports the road clear of debris,” Tyler said. “General Malcolm is hoping those underground people really threw off the Czar’s schedule. If we swoop in fast enough we might catch them before they’re set. Here, you’re going to need this if you want to follow the play-by-play.” She handed a set of headphones back over her shoulder.
Mortimer put them on, adjusted the microphone in front of his mouth.
Tyler’s voice crackled in his ear. “The radio has been rigged with a few different settings. Right now we’re just talking to each other. I can flip a switch to talk to the five Coopers in Blue Group, or I flip another switch and get the whole attack force, or hear Malcolm’s orders or whatever. It’s all plugged into the car’s electrical system.”
“What do you want me to do back here when the trouble starts?” Mortimer asked.
“The MINI is too small to mount a heavy machine gun,” Tyler told him. “But there’s an H &K full-auto 9 mm back there and a shitload of ammo. They extended the moonroof to the backseat, so you can pop up and give them hell, especially if some joker gets on my tail. Just don’t fly out if I take a sharp turn.” To Sheila she said, “You can reload for him, make sure he’s always got a fresh magazine.”
Sheila gave the thumbs-up. “Okay.”
“I’ll need you to cut the chatter while I tune in the ball game. Maybe we can get the score.” Tyler flipped to the main channel.
“-and get that first group in tight when you see them,” came Malcolm’s hard-edged voice through the headphones. “If we catch them in camp, then rip through and turn around for another pass as soon as possible. Don’t let them mount up, whatever you do. If they’ve already hit the road, then we’ll have to do it toe to toe, in
