I sensed that suddenly I was no longer the hero.
“Because it?s his game now,” said Titan. “He has all the cards, right, doughboy?”
“Is that it?” Doe asked angrily. “You were in this for yourself all the time?”
“Yeah, doughboy,” said Titan. “What do you want out of it?”
I thought about it for a moment, looking at Doe, standing beside her beloved Chief, as she always
would. At Titan, with his bulldog jaw jutting out at me, invincible to the end. Their allegiance to each
other was clear. I was the outsider, as I had always been. I don?t think it occurred to any of them that
in the end they not only had lost their precious town but cost Harry Raines his life. They would never
stand accountable for their actions—l guess that?s one of the perks that comes with power.
“The same thing Stick wanted,” I said. “Nothing.”
I turned and walked out.
78
EULOGY
Driving away from Windsong, I felt a sense of relief, not so much at leaving the place but because I
had feared coming back to that house with all its ghosts, and now the fear was gone. If there were
ghosts at Windsong, they were keeping alive a memory of laughter and youth and a time that was as
sweet s the remembered taste of hot dogs and burnt marshmallows, arid the smell of campfires on the
beach. f I had learned nothing else in coming back to this house, I had learned to treasure those
moments of my life, not trample them in despair. And if that fleeting time, twenty years ago, was to
be the only green summer of my life, at least it was mine. Nobody could ever take that away from me.
Cisco blew in the next morning, raising merry hell.
It was very easy to lay the Tagliani massacre off on Nance, Costello, and Chevos; there was nobody
of consequence left to argue about it. Costello had kept Cohen a t arm?s length, so Cohen was in the
dark. Since they were part of the conspiracy, Titan and Chief also had to go along. Besides, people
hear what they want to hear. A hero cop is always good copy
To Dutch and the rest of the SOB?s, it was a state secret, never to be shared outside the team. As for
Cisco, he kept mum, too, although he was still bugging me for my report two months later. I never
filed it. So what else is new? But he wanted to know. He wanted answers to all the questions.
Although I didn?t answer a lot of them, and couldn?t answer some, one thing kept bugging him until
he finally put the question straight to me,
„You didn?t get emotionally involved in this thing, did you, Jake?” he asked, over one of his
breakfasts of garbage and vitamin pills.
