when he’s looking forward to seeing you, and you blow him off for a party with your buddies?”
“I have events that I am required to attend.”
“Were you required to attend that harbor cruise with half-naked women? Or how about al your trips to Vegas for craps and lap dances?” Although how, given their history, he could ever set foot in Vegas again was beyond her.
He rocked back on his heels. “Is this about jealousy?”
She rol ed her eyes. Pain squeezed the bridge of her nose, and she was instantly sorry. “Get over yourself, Sam. You might think the sun rises and sets on your sorry ass, but I’m here to tel you that it doesn’t.” She glanced up at Conner, staring down at her. “And the one person who thinks it does, you total y blow off.”
“I’d be with him more if I could. You know my schedule makes it difficult.”
“If he were a priority in your life, you’d make time.” She pushed her hair behind her ears. “You had this past summer off, but you only spent three weekends with Conner. You canceled on him at least eight different times, and every time you did, I had to try and make it up to him. Every time you’ve ever let him down, I’m the one who has to tel him that you love him and would be with him if you could. I’m the one who has to lie to him.”
His jaw tightened. “I do love him.”
“And we al know how much your love is worth.” She shook her head. “While you’re off playing hero to thousands of other little boys, your own son cries himself to sleep like his heart is breaking.”
His arms fel to his sides, and he rocked back on his heels as if she’d hit him. “I’m no one’s hero.”
“I know that.” She pointed toward the window without looking up at her son. “But he doesn’t. Not yet. He doesn’t know you’re just a selfish prick unworthy of him, but he’l figure it out someday.” She gasped and covered her pounding forehead with one hand. “Oh my God. I wasn’t going to do that. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to lose control. I don’t want to be angry and cal names. No matter how true.”
He said just loud enough for her to hear, “He cries himself to sleep?”
“What?” She glanced up at the window. At her son looking down at his parents. He didn’t look upset. He hadn’t heard her cal Sam a bad name.
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Why would you?” She brushed her hair back and sighed. Suddenly tired. “You never stick around to pick up after yourself. I’m sure you never even give it a thought.”
“Are you talking about Conner?”
“Who else?”
Over the top of his sunglasses, one brow rose up his forehead.
“Other than how your actions affect my son’s life, I don’t care about you, Sam. I haven’t for a long time. My only concern is Conner.”
“That makes two of us.”
Hardly, she thought. “I see that he has everything he needs.”
“He needs a man’s influence.”
Had he been talking to her brother? “He has Vince.”
“
“So are you, but at least Vince keeps his promises. Conner knows he can count on Vince.”
He took a deep breath through his nose and let it out as if
“He can’t stay up that late, or he’l fal asleep at school.”
“Not on Saturdays he won’t.” He climbed inside his truck and shut the door. “I’l have Natalie cal you.”
Conner didn’t like hockey. He was a pacifist, but if he wanted to go, she didn’t have a problem with Natalie taking him. Besides, Sam would lose interest, and it wouldn’t be an issue anyway.
Sam didn’t wait for her response. Just shoved the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway. From the window above, Conner waved, but typical of Sam, he didn’t look up and notice. Autumn frowned and shook her head as she moved up the steps to the front door. Off in the distance, the rumble of bad-dog pipes rattled the air.
Great. Vince. Like she didn’t have enough drama.
She paused on the top step and raised a hand to shield her eyes from the afternoon sun. The hatred Vince and Sam shared was no secret, and she hoped the two didn’t stop and duke it out on Morning Glory Drive. She held her breath as the two passed, and although she couldn’t see that far, she wouldn’t put it past either to flip each other the bird.
She stood on the porch and waited. She loved her big brother. Loved him for a lot of good reasons, but mostly because he had her back. No matter what. He was loving and fiercely loyal. He fought for her. Always had, but sometimes he took his job as big brother and uncle a little too seriously. But that was Vince. He was a former Navy SEAL who didn’t believe in half measures. He had dark demons that he never talked about and lived by the motto:
“Sometimes it is entirely appropriate to kil a fly with a sledgehammer.”
He pul ed the Harley to a stop in the driveway where Sam’s truck had just been parked and kil ed the engine. He swung one long leg over the bike, stood, and ran his fingers through his short dark hair.
“I thought the idiot was supposed to stay away from you,” he said as he walked up the steps. His boots thudded on the concrete.
“He just dropped Conner off. No big deal.” No need to mention that he’d been an hour and a half late and had worried her. No need to poke the bear with a sharp stick. “So, why are you here?” Although she figured she already knew.
“Maybe I just wanted to see you today.”
“You saw me yesterday.” She made a motion with her hand. “Come on. Get it out before we go inside.”
He smiled, his bottom teeth slightly crooked but very white. “After last night, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“You could have cal ed.”
“You would have lied.” He dipped down and looked into her eyes. “Do I need to kil him?”
She might have laughed if she knew with a hundred-percent certainty that he was joking. She wasn’t certain, but she didn’t hold it against him. There were probably a lot of people who wanted to kil Sam. She’d seen him play hockey, and a few minutes ago, she’d wanted to kil him herself. “No. I didn’t real y even see him last night.” Which wasn’t technical y true. She’d seen his blond head every time she’d entered a room. “We didn’t talk much.” Which was true.
“So, you’re okay?” She suspected that Sam and Vince hated each other so intensely because they were alike in some ways. They were both handsome and arrogant and total horn dogs. The difference between them was that Vince put his family above al else. There’d been a time when Conner had been younger when she’d relied a lot on her brother, but she was stronger now. As much as she loved and stil needed Vince, there were times when she wished he’d find a nice girl, get married, and have his own family. He’d make a great dad, but of course, that whole horn dog thing always got in the way of a serious relationship. “You didn’t need to tear over here.”
“I wanted to come anyway.”
Right. Autumn opened the door, and Vince fol owed her inside. “I’m a big girl now. I can handle Sam.” They moved upstairs to Conner’s room. He stood by his bed, pul ing his dirty pajamas out of his backpack.
“Hey, Nugget,” Vince said, using Conner’s nickname as he crouched by his side and ruffled his hair.
“Hey, Uncle Vince.” Conner pul ed out his little undies. “I played pinbal with my dad.”
“Oh, yeah? That sounds like fun.”
He nodded. “I ate a hot dog.” He turned to his mom. “Can I have a new quilt?”
“What’s wrong with your Barney quilt?”
“Barney sucks.”
She gasped, and her mouth fel open. “But—but—You love Barney. He’s your purple friend.”
He shook his head and sniffed. “Barney is for babies.”
“Since when?”
He shrugged. “Since I’m in the kindergarten now. I’m big.”
He’d just torn a chunk of her heart. They’d picked out the material and made the quilt together. The pil ow, too.
