I thought, My name is Matt and I think I'm going crazy.
The speaker finished what he was saying. I joined in the applause.
I went to the bathroom during the break, less out of need than to avoid having to talk to anybody. I came back to the room and got yet another cup of coffee that I neither needed nor wanted. I thought about leaving the coffee and going back to my hotel. The hell, I'd been up two days and a night without a break. Some sleep would do me more good than a meeting I couldn't pay attention to in the first place.
I kept my coffee cup and took it to my seat and sat down.
I sat there during the discussion. The words people spoke rolled over me like waves. I just sat there, unable to hear a thing.
Then it was my turn.
'My name is Matt,' I said, and paused, and started over. 'My name is Matt,' I said, 'and I'm an alcoholic.'
And the goddamnedest thing happened. I started to cry.
The End
About the Author
The prolific author of more than fifty books and numerous short stories, Lawrence Block is a Mystery Writers of American Grand Master, a four-time winner of the Edgar Allan Poe and Shamus Awards, and the recipient of literary prizes from France, Germany, and Japan.
Block is a devout New Yorker who spends much of his time traveling.
Enter the World of Lawrence Block's Matthew Scudder Lawrence Block is widely acknowledged by both fans and reviewers to be one of the best mystery writers working today. He is also one of the most prolific, and his varied series— from the lighthearted romps of Bernie the Burglar to the cool musings of Keller the Hit Man—
have impressed readers with their versatility. He is a Mystery Writers of America Grand Master and a multiple winner of the Edgar, Shamus, and Maltese Falcon awards.
Block's most intriguing hero may be the deeply flawed and deeply moral ex-policeman, recovering alcoholic, and unlicensed private investigator Matthew Scudder. Scudder has walked New York's mean streets for almost thirty years and in that time a lot of change has come both to this dark hero and to the city he calls home. But he's still the complex detective who caused The Wall Street Journal to say, 'Block has done something new and remarkable with the private-eye novel' and Jonathan Kellerman to exclaim,
'The Matthew Scudder novels are among the finest detective books penned in this century.'
Read on, and enter Scudder's world…
The Sins of the Fathers
The hooker was young, pretty… and dead, butchered in a Greenwich Village apartment. The murderer, a minister's son, has already been caught and become a jailhouse suicide. The case is closed as far as the NYPD is concerned. But the victim's father wants it reopened— he wants to understand how his bright little girl went wrong and what led to her gruesome death. That's where Matthew Scudder comes in. He's not really a detective, not licensed, but he'll look into problems as a favor to a friend, and sometimes the friends compensate him. A hard drinker and a melancholy man, the former cop believes in doing an in-depth investigation when he's paid for it, but he doesn't see any hope here— the case is closed, and he's not going to learn anything about the victim that won't break her father's heart.
But the open-and-shut case turns out to be more complicated than anyone bargained for. The assignment carries an unmistakable stench of sleaze and perversion, and it lures Scudder into a sordid world of phony religion and murderous lust, where children must die for their parents'
most secret, unspeakable sins.
Time to Murder and Create
Small-time stoolie Jake 'The Spinner' Jablon made a lot of new enemies when he switched careers from informer to blackmailer. And the more 'clients,' he figured, the more money— and the more people eager to see him dead. So he's greedy but scared, and he turns to his old acquaintance Matthew Scudder, who used to pay him for information back in Scudder's days as a cop. Scudder's his insurance policy— if anything happens to 'The Spinner,' Scudder can check up on the people who wanted him dead.
No one is too surprised when the pigeon is found floating in the East River with his skull bashed in.
Blackmail's a dangerous business. What's worse, no one cares—
except Matthew Scudder. The unofficial private eye is no conscientious avenging angel. But he's willing to risk his own life and limb to confront Spinner's most murderously aggressive marks. A job's a job, after all, and Scudder's been paid to find a killer— by the victim… in advance.
In the Midst of Death
Jerry Broadfield thinks he's a good cop. But now he's been charged with extortion— and his former buddies in the NYPD would like to see him laid out on a morgue slab for squealing to a committee on police corruption. Suddenly, he's got a lot of enemies, and when a dead call girl turns up in his apartment his troubles get even bigger.
Broadfield screams 'setup,' but nobody believes him— except ex-policeman now unlicensed P.I..
Matthew Scudder. Because Broadfield turned traitor no cop is going to give Scudder any help with this investigation, so Scudder's on his own. But finding a killer among the stoolie cop's sleazebag connections is going to be as difficult as pouring a cold beer in hell—
where some of Broadfield's enemies would like to see Scudder if he gets himself in too deep.
A Stab in the Dark
Nine long years have passed since the killer last struck— nine years since eight helpless young women were
