iBoy

She smiled at me. 'You've got snot all over your face ... come here.' She pulled a tissue from her pocket, licked it, and started cleaning all the snot and tears from my face. I winced a little as she wiped around the knife cut on my forehead. 'Sorry,' she said, shaking her head. 'God, you're a mess.'

'You don't look too great yourself,' I said, glancing at the cuts and bruises on her face.

'Thanks a lot.'

'You're welcome.'

'There,' she said, giving my face a final wipe, 'that's better.'

'Thanks.'

She nodded, putting the tissue away, and for a few seconds she was quiet. Then, without looking at me, and with her voice perfectly calm, she said, 'You weren't thinking of jumping off the roof, were you?'

'What?'

'Because if you were ...' She looked at me, her eyes suddenly bright with anger. 'Listen to me, Tom Harvey. I know you've been through a lot recently ... I mean, we both have. And I know you're probably feeling really confused right now about all this iBoy stuff, all the shit you've got in your head and all the shit you've had to deal with ...' She paused then, moving her face to within an inch of mine, and her voice became slow and deliber­ate. 'But if I ever catch you even thinking about killing yourself ... well, believe me, I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever do.'

We stared at each other for a while then, and as Lucy's eyes drilled into mine with an intensity that was almost physically painful, I honestly didn't know if I had intended to jump or not. I didn't know if I could have jumped or not.

I just didn't know ...

All I knew — and all that mattered — was that I hadn't jumped, and that Lucy was here, sitting beside me.

I looked at her, smiling. 'The last thing I ever do?'

She shook her head. 'It's not a joke, Tom ... I'm serious.'

'I know ... but you're kind of implying that if you ever catch me thinking of killing myself, you'll kill me, which sort of defeats the object, doesn't it?'

She couldn't help grinning. 'Yeah, all right, Mr Super Brain ... so I got my words mixed up a bit —'

'A bit?'

She looked at me, still smiling, but there was genuine concern behind her smile ... and that really meant a lot to me. In fact, it meant everything.

'I'm sorry, Luce,' I said quietly, looking back at her.

'It's all right, I'm always getting my words mixed up —'

'No ... I mean about everything.' There were tears in my eyes again now. 'I'm just so, so sorry ...'

'Shhh ...' she said gently, putting a fingertip to my lips. 'You don't have to be sorry ... you don't have to be anything. Just be with me, OK?' She took her finger away, leaned in close, and kissed me. 'All right?' she whispered. 'Just be with me.'

I nodded, still crying.

Lucy smiled. 'Let's get comfortable.'

As she slowly leaned back and lay down on the roof, looking straight up at the sky, I didn't move for a moment. I just sat there, staring out at the dying horizon, wonder­ing if perhaps there was something out there for me after all, a future beyond the horizon ...

And then Lucy tapped my backside with her foot and said, 'Hey, Super Brain, it's getting lonely down here.'

And I leaned back and lay down beside her, and she took my hand in hers, and we just lay there together in a dream of silence, gazing up at the stars.

For their invaluable help and technical advice,

I'd like to acknowledge Dave Brooks, Helen Fernandes, Nitin Patel, and Sanj Bassi. iThank you.

Acknowledgements

The editor and publishers gratefully acknowledge permis­sion to reproduce copyright material in this book. Every effort has been made to trace and contact copyright hold­ers, but in a few cases this has proved impossible. The editor and publishers apologize for these unwilling cases of copyright transgression and would like to hear from any copyright holders not acknowledged.

Guardian online article by Rose George, copyright © Rose George, 2004, reprinted by permission of the author; excerpt by Arthur Koestley from The Ghost in the Machine (copyright © Arthur Koestler, 1975) is reproduced by permission of PFD (www.pfd.co.ukwww.pfd.co.uk ) on behalf of The Estate of Arthur Koestler; 'Broken' Words & Music by Randy James Bradbury, Fletcher Dragge, Jim Lindberg & Byron McMackin, copyright © Songs Of Universal, Inc. on behalf of Westbeach Music (75%). All Rights Reserved. International Copyright Secured. Used by permission of Music Sales Limited; Supersizing the Mind, copyright © Andy Clark, reprinted by permis­sion of OUP; 'Electricity is Human Thinking', copyright © H. Bernard Wechsler, reprinted by permission of the author; One Blood by John Heale, copyright © John Heale, reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster; algorithm definition quoted from article entitled ALGO­RITHM, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algorithmhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algorithm , made available for use under the terms of http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/; Taser definition quoted from article entitled TASER, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taserhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taser , made available for use under the terms of http://creative- commons.0rg/licenses/by-sa/3.o/; the extract from 'since feeling is first' is reprinted from COMPLETE POEMS 1904-1962, by E. E. Cummings, edited by George J. Firmage, by permission of W. W. Norton & Company. Copyright © 1991 by the trustees for the E. E. Cummings Trust and George James Firmage; The Gang by Frederic Thrasher, copyright © Frederic Thrasher 1927, reprinted by permission of Chicago University Press; The River of Eden copyright © 1996 Richard Dawkins. Reprinted by permission of Basic Books, a member of the Perseus Books Group; Terre des Hommes by Antoine de Saint- Exupery, copyright © Antoine de Saint- Exupery 1939, reprinted by permission of Penguin Books.