that she was at the top of the list, with my strong recommendation that she be fired, with extreme prejudice. If she is -and I believe she will be – she will not be able to get a job teaching in any school in the country; she is being forcibly retired, in effect.'
He went on 'Mr. Marshall, your opinion of me, that day in this office, was entirely correct – I knew it, even then, but was unable or unwilling to admit to it. Kelly, I want to apologize to you for putting you through what I did – that I did it was proof enough of what you had to say in your speech. I can only hope that the two of you can forgive me, and that I have the chance to show you that I can be the kind of school administrator I should be. One of the reasons that the Bishop allowed me to stay in the room today was so that I could hear what you had to say – both of you. I want to assure you that I will take what you had to say, and apply it the best I possibly can to make any school I am at the best it can possibly be. Thank you.'
Kelly and I looked at each other, then him, before I said 'Mr. Jenkins, if you have come far enough to say what you just did, I have no doubt that you will do fine. If you wish my forgiveness, then you have it -and my best wishes.'
Kelly simply said 'And mine, as well.'
He looked relieved, and hesitantly offered us his hand – Kelly pushed it aside to give him a kiss on the cheek; I shook it, and said 'This time, Mr. Jenkins, it was a pleasure to meet you.'
He looked relieved, and we wished him a good afternoon before heading back outside.
We hadn't any more than gotten out the main door before I saw Steve Moore, Susan's dad, coming toward us. When he got close enough, he stopped and looked me in the eye before saying 'You're a son of a bitch, you know that, Dan?'
'Okay. Why?'
'Because you keep being right, dammit.'
'Susan? And your wife?'
He nodded, saying 'We sat down a couple nights after I talked to you. and I had a chance to tell my wife what you'd told me. I let Susan know that you and I had talked. She didn't say or do a damned thing, just looked at me like if I decided to ground her for life, it wouldn't really matter – she already had everything she needed. It definitely got my wife's attention, since she's always been worried that Susan was too fragile or delicate – so when Susan just sat there, calmly waiting to see what I had to say, well, it really startled the hell out of her.'
I nodded, and he continued 'I did what you suggested, and told Susan that I loved her, and even managed to tell it to her in a way that seemed to connect with her. I don't think I got it exactly right, but enough to see she understood what I was saying – it was like her whole face lit up, and it surprised the hell out of me. Then she turned to my wife, and told HER that she loved her, the same way she'd told me – and my wife absolutely turned white when she did it. But after a minute, she was able to tell Susan that she loved her, and it seemed to connect again. It was the scariest damn thing I've ever seen.'
'But it worked, didn't it?'
'Yeah, you son of a bitch, it worked. Since then, we've all been sitting down with each other, just two of us at a time, and just talking – about how we feel about each other, what we like and don't like, what we mean to each other, and all kinds of stuff. For me, it was damned hard at first, but after I did it a couple of times, I realized that they both still loved me, and didn't think any less of me about some of the things that I'd told them. A few times, Susan went over to see you and Kelly and all the rest, and when she came back, it was like she was rejuvenated, or something – and I finally figured out that we were somehow taking something out of her, and she was using all of you to kind of resupply herself so she could come back and give it to us. The only thing I can't get around is that it seems like there's something missing from her, or that she hasn't done yet.'
'You are taking something from her, Steve, and there is something she hasn't done yet.'
'What?'
'You're taking love from her – because she hasn't learned how to give it herself, yet.'
'What do you mean? Every time we see her, or talk to her, we get love from her.'
'That's just what I mean – you get love from her; she isn't able to give it to you herself, yet, so all she can do is let you have what you take.'
'Well, what does she have to do to be able to do that – give love?', he asked, obviously concerned about her.
'She hasn't yet made love, so she hasn't learned to give it.', Kelly told him.
He looked at her, and then me, before saying 'Yeah, you did tell me that you hadn't had sex with her.'
'No, Steve. It's not about having sex, it's about making
He looked confused for a moment, then said 'Same thing, isn't it?'
'Not even close.', Kelly told him, before turning to me and saying 'I think I know why she only comes over to visit, and not to finish it.'
Steve heard her, and asked 'Not the same? What do you mean? And finish what?'
Kelly looked at him again, and told him 'No, they're not the same, Mr.
Moore. Having sex is what you do when you lead with your genitals.
Making love is what you do when you lead with your heart.'
'What?', he asked, obviously confused.
'Have you ever given your wife an orgasm, and not climaxed yourself?', she asked him.
Having an 18-year-old ask him something like that clearly threw him for a moment, but he finally answered 'No, I don't think so.'
'Have you ever had sex with her where the only thing on your mind was making her happy?', Kelly asked.
'No, I can't say that I have.'
'Then all you have ever done, Mr. Moore, has been to have sex. You don't seem to have ever made love. There is a world of difference, and Susan knows that. she wants to make love – but knows that you would only think it was having sex, which is something completely different, and far inferior. So she keeps coming over to visit us, to draw on our love for her, so that she can go home and let you take some of that love from her. And all because you don't know the difference between love and sex – it's left her in limbo, so to speak, and until she gets it resolved, she isn't going to be able to make love – to finish learning what she needs to know to finally be a complete person, able to give love in infinite amounts.', Kelly told him.
'How can I fix it, or change it, or whatever?'
'I doubt that you could, with Susan, until you know the difference yourself, Steve. You may have noticed that she's a lot more perceptive than she used to be.', I told him.
'She sure as hell is. So what do I do?'
'Learn the difference between having sex, and making love.'
'How?'
'The next time you're, uh, romantic with your wife, try thinking about her. Find out from her what she wants – and do it. Go slower. Kiss her more. Caress her – not just on her breasts, but all over; face, shoulders, stomach, everywhere. Pay attention to how she reacts to what you do – and if she likes something, keep doing it longer. Make HER happy, without trying to, uh, take care of yourself.', Kelly told him.
He looked at me, and I said 'You love her, don't you?'
'More than anything!', he answered.
'Then show her that, with your words and your actions – let her know that she is the most important thing in your world when you're together in bed. Treat her the way you know she deserves – gently, tenderly, with your heart, not your genitals.', I told him.
He seemed to get the idea, then, and asked 'How will that help Susan?'
'When you know the difference, and actually respect what she needs to do, she'll know it – and then she'll be free to finish. Then you'll have more love from her than you can handle.', Kelly told him.
A couple of days later, we were surprised to get a call from Susan, wanting to know if she could come over for a little while. Since we didn't have any plans, she was told she could come over whenever she wanted; it wasn't ten minutes later that Mabel told us someone was at the door – and it proved to be Susan.
When she came in, she was almost in tears – Kelly and I quickly got her into the den, and got her on the couch, before sitting down next to her.
After some gentle questioning, we finally got the story: after her dad and mom had sat down with her, and she'd told them both she loved them, they'd all been able to start talking more, and understanding each other
