famous movie star. She would get her start by being crowned Miss America. She had it all figured out, she told them. Boasting that she was much prettier than those cows she had seen on television last year marching around the stage in their swimsuits, she was positive that, as soon as the judges got a good look at her, they would give her the crown.
'God, you're ignorant,' Carrie muttered. 'They don't give the crown to girls who have had babies.'
'You're the ignorant one, Carrie.'
'Hush, you two,' Lola ordered. 'Do you want the nurses to hear you?'
'I don't care if they hear me or not,' Jilly said.
'I told you to hush,' Lola snapped. 'Use your head, Jilly. You're a mother now.'
'I don't want to be a mother. I want to be a star,' Jilly screamed.
Mortified, Lola pulled Carrie into the room and told her to shut the door. Gripping the potted plant she'd brought Jilly in one hand, Lola held on to Carrie's arm with the other so she wouldn't bolt.
Carrie was annoyed that she was being forced to be supportive. She leaned against the door and glared at her sister.
'Now, Jilly, I don't care what you want,' Lola said in a low, furious whisper.
Her mother didn't usually use that tone with Jilly. Carrie perked up and began to pay attention to the conversation.
'You're going to be responsible,' Lola said. Her voice turned earnest as she moved toward the bed. 'You will be a good mother, and Carrie and I will help you raise the baby. It will all work out. You'll see.
I do think you should call the baby's father-' Jilly's laugh stopped her. 'What's so funny?'
'You,' Jilly replied. 'You've got my life all mapped out, don't you? Always trying to make me behave and act the way you think I should act. Really, Mother. I'm a grown-up now. I'm eighteen,' she reminded her. 'And I'll do whatever I want to do.'
'But, Jilly, the father has a right to know he has a daughter.'
Fluffing her pillow behind her head, Jilly yawned loudly. 'I don't know who the father is. It could be the college boy from Savannah, but I can't be sure.'
Lola let go of Carrie. 'What do you mean, you can't be sure? You told me-'
'I lied. You want me to tell you the truth? Fine, I will. The father could have been a dozen other men.'
Lola shook her head. She refused to believe her daughter. 'Stop talking like that. Tell me the truth.'
Carrie's head came up. 'Oh, my God, Jilly.'
Jilly loved shocking people and being the center of attention. 'I am telling the truth. I really have lost count of the men I've been with. I couldn't possibly know who the father might be.' She saw the disgust on her mother's face. 'Have I upset you?' Jilly asked, inordinately pleased by the possibility. 'Men love me,' she boasted. 'They'll do anything I want just to please me. They give me expensive gifts and cash too, which I've had to hide from you and Carrie so you wouldn't get jealous and act like you are now, so holier than everybody else. You would have taken the money and the jewelry away from me, wouldn't you? Only, I wouldn't give you the chance. I'm smarter than you think, Mother.'
Lola closed her eyes, battling the waves of nausea. 'How many men have there been?'
'How would I know? Weren't you listening? I just told you I lost count. All I had to do was let them use my body for a little while. They adore me and I let them. I'm much more beautiful than all the actresses in Hollywood put together, and I'm going to be more famous. You just wait and see. Besides, I like sex. It feels good when they do it just right. You just don't understand the modern woman. You're old, Mother, and all dried up inside. You probably don't remember what sex is.'
'Taking money for sex? Do you know what that makes you?'
'Liberated,' Jilly snarled.
Carrie stepped away from the door. 'No, it doesn't. It makes you a dirty little whore, Jilly. That's all you'll ever be.'
'You don't know what you're talking about,' Jilly shouted. 'Men don't want you the way they want me. I can drive them crazy, and they don't give you the time of day. I am liberated and you're just jealous.'
'Come on, Mother. Let's leave.' Carrie touched her mother's shoulder.
Turning her head into the pillow, Jilly muttered, 'Yes, leave. I'm sleepy now. Go away and let me rest.'
Carrie had to help Lola to the car. She had never seen her mother so distraught, and it scared her.
As they drove away from the hospital, Lola stared blankly out the window. 'You've always known what she was like, and you tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen to you. I've been living in a fog, haven't I?'
Carrie nodded. 'Something's wrong with Jilly. The mean streak inside of her goes beyond… it isn't normal.'
'Did I do that to her?' Lola asked, sounding bewildered. 'Your father spoiled her, and after he left us, I spoiled her too so she wouldn't feel abandoned. Did I make her the monster she's become?'
'I don't know.'
Neither one of them said another word until they reached home. Carrie pulled the car into the driveway, parked it in front of the garage, and turned the motor off. She was opening the door when Lola grabbed her arm.
'I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you.' She began to weep then. 'You're such a good girl, and I've taken you for granted all these years. Our lives have revolved around Jilly, haven't they? It seems I've spent the better part of her eighteen years keeping her calm… happy. I just want you to know that I'm proud of you. I've never told you so, have I? I guess it took this nightmare to make me realize what a treasure you are. I love you, Carrie.'
Carrie didn't know how to respond. She couldn't remember if or when her mother had ever told her she loved her before. She
felt as though she'd just won some kind of a contest, but by default. The golden child was tarnished, and because she was the
only one left, she got the prize.
It wasn't enough. 'What are you going to do about Jilly?' she asked.
'I'm going to make her do the right thing, of course.'
Carrie pulled away. 'You still don't get it. She won't do the right thing. Maybe she can't. I don't know. She's sick, Mother.'
Lola shook her head. 'She's spoiled, but I can work on-'
Carrie stopped her. 'You're still living in dreamland,' she muttered. She slammed the door when she got out of the car and went into the house.
Lola followed her into the kitchen, took an apron from the wooden peg on the wall, and tied it around her waist.
'Do you remember what happened on my eighth birthday?' Carrie asked as she pulled a chair from the kitchen table and
dropped into it.
Hoping to avoid the unpleasant remembrance, Lola didn't turn around. 'Not now, dear. Why don't you set the table and I'll start dinner.'
'You gave me that Barbie doll I wanted.'
'Carrie, I don't want to talk about this now.'
'Sit down. We need to discuss this.'
'It happened a long time ago. Why do you need to go over it again?'
Carrie wasn't going to back down this time. 'I came into your bedroom that night.'
'Carrie, I don't-'
'Sit down, damn it. You can't keep living this way. You have to face the facts. Sit, Mother.' She wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her.
Lola gave in. She took the chair across from her daughter, and primly folded her hands in her lap. 'I remember your father was very upset by your accusations,' she said. 'And Jilly was crying. You woke the whole household that night carrying on.'
'She wanted my doll,' Carrie said. 'When I wouldn't give it to her, she told me she was going to cut my eyes out with scissors.
I woke up around midnight and she was standing over me with your shears in her hand. She had this sick
