'I have not forgotten how to cower,' Johanna replied. Her voice was filled with sadness. 'And I will try not to incite his anger. Clare, I love my brother and all these good men here. I cannot let them die because of me.'
'Dear God, I don't know what to do.'
'Please help me.'
Clare was finally swayed. She gave a quick nod. 'Aren't you frightened, Johanna?'
'Oh, yes,' Johanna answered. 'But I'm not overwhelmed with it. In my heart, I know it's a sound plan. Gabriel will find me.'
Tears streamed down Clare's face. She forced a smile to hide her terror. 'I wish I had someone like Gabriel who I could love and trust.'
'Oh, Clare, you do. Nicholas is every bit as gentle and good as my husband.'
Her friend's smile became genuine then. 'Dear Lord, I forgot I was married,' she blurted out. 'Come now. We must get you out of here before I also forget I have courage.'
The two women turned direction and ran toward the back entrance to the stables. Twenty minutes later, and after considerable subterfuge and plain sneakery, Johanna rode out of the keep and down the steep hill.
She was going back to hell again. Yet when she spotted Raulf riding toward her, her heart didn't stop beating and her stomach didn't twist in agony.
Johanna wasn't terrified now; she was determined. She had a sound plan.
She had Gabriel.
Chapter 21
They took her to the Gillevrey keep. Raulf and his army had crossed the clan's border and immediately found themselves under attack. The Highlander soldiers were courageous in battle, but Laird MacKay's evaluation was proven true. They were a poorly trained group of men, and it had only taken the English infidels one day to conquer the land and the castle.
Laird Gillevrey and thirty of his men were locked away in the cellars below the great hall. The other clansmen were being held in the soldiers' quarters in the lower bailey.
Johanna's surrender had been swift. She rode down the hill and into the jaws of the enemy. They enveloped and surrounded her.
Although she was just a scant foot or two away from Raulf, she didn't speak to him. She simply sat atop her mount with her hands folded together and waited to see what he would do.
Raulf was dressed in full knight's battlewear, but his head was covered with the old-fashioned open conical helmet. He preferred it over the modern fully enclosed gear. He'd told her his vision was improved. She believed vanity was the true reason.
It was difficult for her to look at him. His appearance hadn't changed much. His eves were just as green, his complexion was still unscarred, and there were only a few added age lines creasing his narrow cheeks now. Then he took his helmet off, and she realized there had been a dramatic change after all. His hair had been the color of wheat when she'd last seen him. It was white now.
'We will go home now, Johanna, and all this will be put behind us.'
'Yes,' she immediately agreed.
Her answer pleased him. He nudged his mount close to her side and reached over to touch her face.
'You have grown more beautiful,' he remarked. 'I've missed you, my love.'
Johanna couldn't look at him now, for she was certain he would see the disgust in her eyes. She bowed her head in what she prayed looked like submission.
Raulf was apparently satisfied. He put his helmet back on, turned his mount, and then gave the order to ride.
They didn't stop for water or rest and reached the Gillevrey holding late that afternoon.
Johanna immediately pleaded exhaustion. Raulf escorted her inside. The entrance was narrow. Steps leading upstairs were directly in front of her. To the right was the hall. It was a large room, square in dimensions, and the balcony above surrounded it on all sides. Johanna was disheartened by that notice, for she knew if she was kept upstairs, she couldn't sneak out the door without being spotted by the guards in the hall.
She was given the third chamber. The door was in the center of the balcony. Raulf opened the door for her. She kept her head bowed and tried to hurry past him. He grabbed hold of her arm and tried to kiss her. She wouldn't let him. She turned her head away.
He roughly pulled her into his arms and hugged her. His hands toyed with her hair.
'Did they make you cut your hair?'
She didn't answer him. 'Of course they did,' he decided. 'You never would have willingly cut your hair, for you surely remember how much I liked it.'
'I did remember,' she whispered.
He let out a sigh. 'It will grow again.'
'Yes.'
Raulf suddenly tightened his hold on her. 'Why did you get our marriage annulled?'
The pain he was inflicting upon her made her flinch. 'The king wanted me to marry Baron Williams. I demanded an annulment to stall for time. I didn't believe you were dead.'
Her answer satisfied Raulf. 'John didn't tell me Williams wanted you for wife. The bastard did lust after you, didn't he? And you never did like him much.'
'I'm very sleepy,' she blurted out. 'I don't feel at all well.'
Raulf finally let go of her. 'The excitement has been too much for you. You were always weak, Johanna, and only I know how to take care of you. Go to bed now. I won't bother you tonight. I put one of your gowns on the bed. You will wear it tomorrow. When you join me downstairs, I will have a surprise for you.'
He finally left her alone. The door had a lock, but the key had been removed. She would have to find something to block the entrance, she decided. She didn't trust Raulf to leave her alone; and if he did sneak into the chamber during the night, she would be prepared. If he tried to touch her, she would kill him… or die trying.
Johanna had been in complete control of her emotions until now; and although she was exhausted from the strain, she was still feeling proud of herself because she hadn't allowed her anger or her fear to gain the upper hand. It was her sole duty to protect her baby from harm until Gabriel came to fetch her. Yes, that was her only duty.
Messengers had left to chase down Gabriel as soon as the English army had been spotted. Johanna prayed the clansmen wouldn't have to go all the way to London to catch up with their laird.
The MacBain allies were surely preparing to ride now, too, she decided. Why, by tomorrow night or the night after, she would certainly be rescued.
Johanna set about defending her little chamber from attack. She pushed an empty chest over to the door to block it. She knew it wouldn't keep anyone from breaking in. but she hoped the sound when the chest was moved would wake her up if she accidentally fell asleep.
She hurried over to the window, pulled the fur covering back, and looked down. Then she muttered an expletive. There wouldn't be any escape possible through the opening. It was a straight drop two stories down, and the rock wall was too smooth to find handholds to climb down.
The room was cold and damp. She was suddenly so weary she needed to sit down. She removed her belt and wrapped herself in her plaid. Then she went over to the bed.
She spotted the gown spread out upon the covers. Recognition was swift. Her weariness vanished, and fury such as she'd never known before flooded her. She was consumed by it, and all she wanted to do was scream as loud as a warrior would when he rode into battle.
It was her wedding gown. The shoes she'd worn were there too, she noticed, and the ribbons, dear God, the ribbons she'd entwined in her hair were spread out on the covers as well.
'He's demented,' she whispered.
