Theresa.’
I felt a flash of jealousy but it went away as soon as it came.
‘So he wanna go home, huh?’ I let out a short laugh and it hurt me on my stomach. ‘I guess he finished up whatever crazy nonsense he had wit’ Reese.’
‘I guess so,’ Jo said as she pushed the spoon into my mouth just a little too hard. ‘So I guess you be headin’ back home when you get to your feet?’
‘Uh-huh, that’s right. You know Houston cain’t get along wit’out me for more’n a few days.’
‘Yeah.’ She smiled with me and I was glad.
It seemed like the only thing I’d ever done was to sit alone with Jo in the night. And I was liking her pretty much then too. I was thinking about what Mouse had said about not turning up your nose at a woman like her.
‘Easy?’
‘Yeah, Jo?’
She let my head down on the pillow and went back to her chair. She sat down with a sigh and said, ‘I been thinkin’ ‘bout what happened out to the house, baby. You know, wit’ us. And I feel kinda bad cause’a what you must be thinkin’, so I just wanna tell ya ‘bout how I feel.’
She took a deep breath that brought me back to the night we were lovers.
‘You could see that I ain’t a normal woman. I got big bones and I’m taller than almost any man I ever seen. An’ I ain’t like big girls neither. Us’ally a big girl sag down an’ be quiet hopin’ that a man won’t notice her size - but I cain’t do that. I’m loud and rough and I’m pretty smart too. It’s not that I’m vain, Easy, I’m just tellin’ it like it is. I’m better than most men at bein’ like a man. Domaque was the on’y man was my match.’ She had a lost look in her eye and I knew how she felt after all I had remembered about my father and losing him. ‘And he was too good to live. On’y reason I stay out to that house is because I’d be more alone wit’ people. ‘Cause if I come in on a situation an’ I know what’s right, then I’ma do what’s right. And if a man, even a white man, stand up an’ be stupid then I just set him straight. I mean women can be wrong too an’ they can be just as dumb as any man. But a woman us’ally come around quicker than a man ‘cause if you hurt a man’s pride you might as well give up on him ever thinkin’ right.
‘Mens don’t like a woman big as I am, not if they manlike too. They wanna feel they power but they don’t want none’a yours. But I could see you wasn’t like that.’ She gave me that shy smile. ‘They is somethin’ diffrent in you, Easy, somethin’ soft. It’s like you looked at me an’ said, “Okay this here is one big woman; now let’s get on wit’ it.” An’ you didn’t worry ‘bout it no more. You didn’t look at me wit’ them big eyes like you was scared or like I’m a animal you gotta train. I liked that.
‘That’s why I done that mess wit’ Ernestine an’ that sour boy she was wit’.’
I thought about Domaque and Clifton then.
‘What’s she gonna do now that Clifton’s gone?
‘She wanna learn some things I know an’...’ She looked down and smiled. ‘She been goin’ out to Dom’s house t’pick flowers wit’ him. I cain’t hope she gonna be no more than friends wit’ him but Dom sure could use the company.’
‘I like you, Jo.’ I held my hand out to her. She came over to hold it.
‘That’s all I wanted, baby. I know I shouldn’ta done what I did. I wanted you t’be my friend. I mean I cain’t ask you to wanna be out here wit’ me...’ she said, but there was hope in her voice.
‘I couldn’t, Jo. I mean, I could love you but it would turn out bad.’ I wanted to say yes, to say that Mouse was right.
‘I gotta stand up fo’myself, Jo, an’ I just couldn’t do that wit’ you, out here.’ I should have just said that she was too much woman for me - that’s what I felt. I lied about everything back then. There just wasn’t any truth to be had.
We talked for a long time, about everything. She told me stories about her and how she kept things going out around Pariah. She delivered babies, made potions, and settled disputes. I told her about wanting to read and about women I’d known. We were fast friends, holding hands and talking the night away.
But whenever I’d mention Mouse she started talking about something else. She told no stories about him when he lived there and if I asked she’d just say, ‘Oh you know Raymond; he ain’t nuthin’ but bad news wit’ a grin.’
Finally I asked, ‘How come you won’t talk about him?’
‘I don’t wanna be thinkin’ ‘bout Raymond now, Easy. I know he yo’ frien’ an’ I ain’t got nuthin’ good t’say.’
‘But he brung that girl down.’
‘I’m thankful fo’ Ernestine but Raymond din’t make her. An’ all his foolin’ ‘round ain’t helpin’ my boy.’
‘What he do?’
‘I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout what Raymond be doin’.’
‘But I bet you could guess.’ I smiled at her but she didn’t smile back.
‘All I know is that I seen Raymond an’ that Clifton headed out Blacksmith Row, out toward Reese Corn’s place. They left when the sun was goin’ down.’
The tone in her voice spoke of violence. All the drowsy recuperation in my brain burned off like morning mist. Sweat formed on my forehead and hands. I gulped once because of the nausea that accompanied the decision I made.
My stomach rumbled.
‘You hungry, huh, Easy?’Jo asked.
‘Yeah, yeah. Hey, Jo, could you go’n get me sumpin’ t’eat?’
