man.
“Good morning, Mr. Finger. You rang?”
“Call me Bernie!” Finger shouted. “Everybody does! And I’ll call you Stoney!”
“Over my dead body,” Stone replied.
“Ha! My client can arrange that!” He dissolved in loud guffaws.
“And your client is…?”
“You’ve met him, Stone. Is that better?”
“Yes, thank you. What can I do for you, Bernie?”
“I represent a certain party downtown who was baffled yesterday to have you walk into his place of business and hand him a summons! He wants to know what this is all about!”
“Didn’t you read the complaint, Bernie?”
“Well, not exactly; it didn’t really survive the day!”
“I’ll send you a copy.”
“Just give me a quick run-through, and I’ll read it later!”
“My client lost a considerable sum of money, betting with one of your client’s employees. When he failed to pay fast enough, two of your client’s other employees dragged him from a public eating establishment, causing him great humiliation and embarrassment, then proceeded to beat him on the sidewalk, until they were interrupted by a police officer.”
“Did the cop arrest them?”
“No.”
“Well, then it couldn’t have been too serious, could it?”
“I assure you, my client takes it very seriously, since he now faces plastic surgery to his face, and he is looking forward to meeting your client in court.”
Finger’s tone changed, and he spoke more quietly. “Well, Stone, I have to presume you know who you’re dealing with here.”
“Bernard Finger, Esquire, I presume.”
“Heh, heh. Well I’m sure you understand that my client is not accustomed to being hauled into court on civil matters.”
“Only landlords are accustomed to that,” Stone replied. “I suggest you explain to your client that this is, indeed, a civil matter, which means that he will be required to testify, and he won’t be able to clam up the way he does when he’s addressed by the U.S. attorney. Tell him that I will look forward to questioning him about his various sources of income and his business practices, and I am certain that various members of the federal legal establishment will be present in the courtroom to hear his answers and to learn if he perjures himself. I would also expect a trial to be attended by many members of the media.”
“Well, Stone, that ain’t never going to happen.”
“Then I will see your client in civil jail while he ruminates on his response to my client’s lawsuit.”
“You don’t understand.”
“No, Bernie, your client doesn’t understand, and I hardly need remind you that it is your duty to explain it all to him, a prospect that I do not envy you. By the way, yet another of your client’s employees attacked and injured me in the La Boheme coffeehouse yesterday, and I am contemplating legal recourse. Finally, you should tell your client that I anticipate an extralegal response to this suit, either against my client or myself, and that I welcome such actions, since they will only strengthen my position and make him further liable for a criminal action against him.”
“Stone, you sound very tense, you know. You should have a massage, or something. Good morning.” Bernard Finger hung up.
Stone called Dino.
“Bacchetti.”
“It’s Stone.”
“Morning.”
“Guess who I just had a call from.”
Dino sighed. “Just tell me.”
“Bernard Finger.”
“The man himself?”
“None other. He represents Carmine Dattila.”
“Big surprise, not that he represents Carmine, but that he bothered to call you.”
“Guess who else represents Dattila.”
“You got me again.”
“The lovely Marilyn, from last night.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“She didn’t show for our appointment this morning, and the phone number on her card is a phony. Then, after my conversation with Finger, he says, slyly, that I sound tense and I should have a massage. I think the preponderance of the evidence points to a pecuniary relationship, at the very least, between Marilyn and Carmine.”
“So you think he sent her to Elaine’s to pump you about your lawsuit?”
“What else?”
“That sounds more like something Bernie Finger would do.”
“You have a point,” Stone said.
“I frequently do.”
“Listen, why don’t you put some of your little-used police skills to work and find out who she is?”
“So what am I going to go on? Beautiful blonde with phony phone number? I don’t think our computers could handle that.”
“I guess not.”
“And besides, it’s not as though she committed a crime. I don’t think it’s a felony to offer massage and not show up.”
“It ought to be,” Stone said.
“In a more perfect world.”
“I was looking forward to that massage.”
“And I was looking forward to hearing about it.”
“I hope I run into her again,” Stone said.
“What are you going to do, slug her? Besides, she looks like she could take care of herself. Pretty big girl.”
“Parts of her.”
“That’s probably what Carmine wants you to do, so he can have her beat you up.”
“Good-bye, Dino.”
“Have a nice day.”
10
Stone sat and stared at his desktop. His back was still stiff and sore; he had really wanted that massage. He buzzed Joan.
“Yes?”
“Do you know a really good masseuse who makes house calls?”
“What is this sudden obsession with massage?”
“It came with the sudden contact of my back with a sidewalk.”
“No, I don’t know anybody.”
“I’ll bet your sister who knows the cosmetic surgeon knows somebody.”
“You should have been a detective. I’ll call her. When do you want it?”
“At the earliest possible moment, if not sooner.”
