Zelandoni watched the tall, handsome man, face, chest, arms, and legs scratched and in places bleeding, sitting on the bed holding the nearly lifeless woman in his arms like a baby, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face, crying for her to come back. She hadn't seen him cry since he was a small boy. Jondalar didn't cry. He fought to control his emotions, keep them to himself. Very few people had ever got really close to him, except his family and her, and even then, once he reached manhood, there was always some distance, some reserve.
After he returned from his stay with Dalanar, she had often wondered if he would ever really love a woman again, and blamed herself. She knew he still loved her then, and she had been tempted, more than once, to give up the zelandonia and mate with him, but as time went along and she never became pregnant, she knew she had made the right choice. She felt sure he would mate someday, and though she had often doubted that he would be capable of giving himself completely to any woman, Jondalar needed children. Children could be loved freely, completely, without reservation, and he needed to love like that.
She had been genuinely happy for him when he returned from his Journey with a woman that he obviously loved, a woman who was worthy of his love. But she hadn't realised until then just how much he did love her. The First felt a small twinge of guilt. Maybe she shouldn't have pushed Ayla so hard to become Zelandoni. Maybe she should have just left the two of them alone. But it was the Mother's choice, after all.
'She's so cold. Why is she so cold?' Jondalar said. He stretched her out on the bed, lay down next to her, then half covered her naked body with his own, and pulled the furs over both of them. The wolf jumped up on the bed with them, crowding in close to her other side. Jondalar's heat filled the space quickly and the wolf's helped to hold it in. The man held her for a long time, looking at her, kissing her pale, still face, talking to her, pleading with her, begging the Mother for her, until finally his voice, his tears, and heat of his body and the wolf's began to penetrate her coldest depths.
Ayla wept silently. 'You did it! You did it!' the people chanted, accusing her. Then only Jondalar stood there. She heard a wolf howl nearby.
'I'm sorry, Jondalar,' she cried. 'I'm sorry I hurt you.'
He held out his arms to her. 'Ayla,' he gasped. 'Give me a son. I love you.'
She started toward the figure of Jondalar standing beside Wolf, and walked between them; then she felt something pulling. Suddenly she was moving, faster, much faster than before, though she felt rooted in place. The mysterious alien clouds appeared and were gone in an instant, yet seemed to take forever. The deep black void swooped by, engulfing her in an unearthly black emptiness that went on endlessly. She fell through the mist, and for a moment saw herself and Jondalar in a bed surrounded by lamps. Then she was inside a frigid, clammy shell. She struggled to move, but she was so stiff, so cold. Finally, her eyelids flickered. She opened her eyes and looked into the tearstained face of the man she loved, and a moment later felt the warm, licking tongue of the wolf.
'Ayla! Ayla! You're back! Zelandoni! She's awake! O Doni, Great Mother, thank you. Thank you for giving her back to me,' Jondalar said with a heaving sob. He was holding her in his arms, crying his relief and his love, afraid to hold her too tight for fear he would hurt her, but not ever wanting to let her go. And she didn't want him to.
Finally he relaxed his embrace to let the Donier look at her. 'Get down now, Wolf,' Jondalar said, pushing the animal toward the edge. 'You helped her; now let Zelandoni see her.' The wolf jumped off the bed, but sat on the floor looking at them.
The First Among Those Who Served bent over Ayla, and saw open grey-blue eyes and a wan smile. She shook her head in amazement. 'I didn't believe it was possible. I was sure she was gone, lost forever in some dark irretrievable place, where even I could not go to find her to lead her to the Mother. I was afraid the chanting was useless, that nothing could be done to save her. I doubted that anything would ever bring her back, not my most ardent hopes, nor the transcendent wish of every Zelandonii, not even your love, Jondalar. All the zelandonia combined could not have done what you did. I'm almost willing to believe you could have raised her from the Doni's deepest underworld. I've always said the Great Earth Mother would never refuse you anything you asked Her for. I think this proves it.'
The news spread through the campsite like a wildfire. Jondalar had brought her back. Jondalar had done what the zelandonia could not do. There wasn't a woman at the Summer Meeting who didn't wish in her heart that she was loved as much, or a man who didn't wish he knew a woman that he could love so strongly. Stories were already beginning, stories that would be told around hearth fires and campfires for years, about Jondalar's love, so great it brought his Ayla back from the dead.
Jondalar thought about Zelandoni's comment. He had heard that before though he wasn't entirely sure what it meant, but it left him feeling uncomfortable to be told that he was so favoured by the Mother that no woman could refuse him, not even Doni Herself; so favoured that if he ever asked the Mother for anything, She would grant his request. He had also been warned to be careful of what he wished for, because he might get it, although he didn't really understand what that meant either.
For the first few days, Ayla was utterly exhausted, barely able to move and so weak, there were times when the Donier wondered if she would ever fully recover. She slept a great deal, sometimes lying so still, it was hard to tell if she was still breathing, but her sleep wasn't always restful. Occasionally, she would lapse into waves of delirium, tossing and turning and speaking out loud, but every time Ayla opened her eyes, Jondalar was there. He hadn't left her side since she awoke, except to take care of essential needs. He slept on his sleeping furs that he spread out on the floor beside her bed.
Zelandoni wondered, when Ayla seemed to falter, if he wasn't the only thing that kept her in the world of the living. In fact he was, along with her own inherent will to live, and her years of hunting and exercise, which had given her a strong, healthy body that could recover from devastating experiences, even those that brought her close to death.
Wolf stayed with her most of the time, as well, and seemed to sense when she was ready to wake up. After Jondalar stopped him from jumping up and putting his dirty paws on the bed, Wolf discovered that the height of the bed was just right for him to stand up and lay his head on it to watch her just before she opened her eyes. Jondalar and Zelandoni came to anticipate her waking by the actions of the animal.
Jonayla was so happy to have her mother awake, and Jondy and her mother back together, that she often came into the zelandonia lodge to be with them. Though she didn't sleep there, if they were both awake, she sometimes stayed a while, sitting in Jondalar's lap, or lying beside her mother, even taking a nap with her. Other times she would run in for only a moment, as if to convince herself that all was still well. After she was recovered enough, Ayla usually sent Wolf out with Jonayla, although at first he was torn between staying with the woman or going with the child.
The Donier hovered nearby as well. The First blamed herself for not paying closer attention to the young woman's condition from the time she first arrived. But Summer Meetings required so much of her time and attention and Ayla had always been hard for her to read. She seldom talked about herself or her problems, and hid her feelings far too well. It was easy to overlook her symptoms of distress.
Ayla looked up from the bed and smiled at the bushy red-haired and bearded giant of a man who was looking down at her. Though not fully recovered, she had recently moved back to the camp of the Ninth Cave. She had been awake, earlier, when Jondalar told her Danug wanted to visit, but she dozed off momentarily before she heard her name softly spoken. Jondalar was sitting beside her, holding her hand, and Jonayla was sitting in his lap. Wolf pounded his tail on the floor beside her bed, in greeting to the young Mamutoi.
'I'm supposed to tell you, Jonayla, that Bokovan and some other children are going to Levela's hearth to play, and have something to eat. She has some bones for Wolf, too,' Danug said.
'Why don't you go, Jonayla, and take Wolf,' Ayla said, sitting up. 'They would like to see you, and it won't be long before this Summer Meeting is over. After we go home, you probably won't see them again until next summer.'
'All right, mother. I'm getting hungry, anyway, and maybe Wolf is too.' The child gave her father and mother a hug, then walked toward the entrance with Wolf behind her. He whined back at Ayla before leaving the lodge, then followed after Jonayla.
'Sit down, Danug,' Ayla said, motioning toward a stool. Then she looked around. 'Where's Druwez?'
Danug sat down beside Ayla. 'Aldanor needed a male friend who is not related for something having to do with his upcoming Matrimonial. Druwez agreed to be the one, since I have to fill in as an adopted relative,' Danug said.
Jondalar nodded in understanding. 'It's difficult learning a complete new set of customs. I remember how it was when Thonolan decided to mate Jetamio. Because I was his brother, it made me kin to the Sharamudoi, too,
