‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be crude. I’m just… you know, sort of anonymous.’
‘But surely the money must be quite good? I don’t mean to be even more rude and pry, but I do know that this house certainly wasn’t cheap.’
‘The money’s good,’ I agreed. ‘Enough so I don’t really have to worry too much, though I do need to keep working for a few more years yet before I can even consider retirement.’
‘If I may say so, you haven’t picked up much of an accent in your time in America.’
‘I suppose not,’ I said. ‘I never really thought about it. Maybe I spent too much of my time in the local drinking beer and playing darts.’
‘They play darts in California? In a local pub?’
‘Of course. The King’s Head.’
‘Is it like a real English pub? All I’ve seen are those dreadful phoney places they have in Spain and Greece.’
‘It’s what the Americans think an English pub should be like. Lots of junk all over the place, padded banquettes, walls cluttered with old photos and posters, Winston Churchill, British bobbies, Union Jacks, the lot.’
‘Well I never.’ Heather poured the tea and carried it over, sitting opposite me at the smooth pine table, careful to put down a couple of coasters before setting the cups and saucers on them. I won’t say she was gazing at me with stars in her eyes, but I was definitely elevated in her view. ‘I got these, too,’ she said mischievously, offering me the packet of McVitie’s chocolate digestives. ‘Bet you couldn’t get these in California.’
‘Bet you could,’ I said. ‘They have a little “shoppe” at the King’s Head. You can buy HP Sauce, Marmite, Branston pickle and Bisto. Probably McVitie’s chocolate digestives as well.’
‘Amazing. Anyway, I think you should find everything in working order,’ Heather went on, clearing her throat and getting back to business. ‘As I told you in one of my emails, the house is centrally heated. I set the thermostat to a comfortable level. It’s in the hall, so you can adjust it yourself if you need to. Watch out, though, the heating bills can be high. Using the fireplaces should help. The door to the coal cellar is under the stairs, and that’s where the firewood is kept. The telephone and Internet connections are in working order – at least, according to the man from BT – as are the satellite television and DVD player you ordered, across the hall. And that’s about it. Oh, before I forget, there’s a form and instructions for getting a television licence. I don’t know about America, but you have to have one here, or they fine you.’
‘I remember,’ I said. ‘My dad always used to complain about paying it. They used to send those little vans with the revolving aerials on top to catch people who hadn’t paid.’
‘They still do. And they’re a lot better at it these days. Anyway, I think you can do it online, if…’
I said I’d been doing most of my banking and bill-paying online for years now, so that raised no problems. ‘I’m sure everything’s fine,’ I said. ‘The owners certainly seem to have left a lot of stuff behind. I didn’t expect quite so much.’
‘Yes. Well, I did warn you. I can arrange for anything you don’t want to be taken away. But we all wanted a quick sale. You, too, as I remember.’
‘No problem. If there’s anything I don’t want to keep, I’ll get in touch and maybe you can help me get rid of it?’
‘I’ll do what I can. Would you like the guided tour after tea, or should I leave you to explore on your own at leisure?’
As pleasant a tour guide as Heather Barlow I could hardly imagine, but I had a craving to be alone in my new home, to learn its surprises, stumble across its hidden nooks and crannies, discover its smells and creaks for myself, and to experience it for the first time in the way I expected to continue living here: alone. ‘I’ll explore by myself, if you don’t mind. Unless you think there’s anything I ought to know.’
Heather hesitated. ‘No… er… not that I can think of. Nothing. Any problems, you can always ring me at home or at the office. I’m sure you have the details already, but I’ll leave you my card in case.’ She dug into her leather handbag.
‘Is something wrong?’ I asked.
‘No. Why? What makes you ask that?’
‘You just seemed a bit flustered by my question, that’s all.’
‘Did I? I can’t imagine why.’
‘Is the house haunted or something?’ I asked, smiling. ‘I mean, it’s so old I can imagine all sorts of things happening here over the years. Serving maids having the master’s baby in secret, you know, all sorts of hush-hush upstairs-downstairs business. Ghostly governesses. Mysterious children. Something nasty in the woodshed. Maybe a gruesome murder or two?’
‘Don’t be silly. Whatever makes you think that?’ Heather Barlow toyed with her hair, wrapping a long strand around her index finger. ‘You do have a vivid imagination. Mind you, I suppose that’s exactly the sort of thing an American would say.’
I smiled. ‘Touche.’
She sipped some tea, then smiled back. Her pale pink lipstick left a mark on the cup. ‘Do you believe in ghosts?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I haven’t seen one yet.’
‘But you’ve only just arrived. You haven’t spent a night here.’
‘I don’t see why people should see ghosts only at night, do you? Anyway, I was just wondering, that’s all. It’s no big deal. I’m not scared or anything. It’s just that in America you hear about these queer things happening in England. Mary Queen of Scots slept here, headless bodies, haunted houses and all that. It comes with the territory. People think it’s quaint. Like the King’s Head.’
‘Yes, well, I have always thought Americans are rather gullible as regards some of the more fanciful flights of British history,’ Heather Barlow said, with a dry laugh to take the edge off the criticism. ‘I shouldn’t worry about ghosts if I were you. They don’t come with this territory. At least, nobody has ever reported seeing a ghost in this house, night or day. All old houses have their peculiar histories, of course, their terrible memories and their darker moments, perhaps, but they don’t necessarily manifest themselves as ghosts. And this may also be one of the few houses in the county where Mary Queen of Scots most certainly did not sleep. Now I really must go. My husband will be wondering where his dinner is.’ She finished her tea and stood up. Was there an angry edge to her words? Was she mentioning her husband for my sake? Did she think I was flirting with her?
I followed her towards the front door, took her coat from the cloakroom and helped her into it. She dug in her pocket for her car keys. When she found them, she turned to me with a new smile fixed in place and held out a square of cardboard. ‘You’ll need this if you drive into town. It’s a parking disc. Just set it for the time you arrive and display it on the dashboard. You’ve got two hours.’
I took the disc. ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘Thanks for coming by, and thanks for everything you brought. Especially the champagne.’
‘You’re most welcome,’ she said, ‘though if you drink it all yourself, the next time you see me you may be more grateful for the coffee and paracetamol. Goodnight.’ And with that she dashed off, leaving me to stare at the closed door for a few moments, until the sound of her car starting shook me out of it. Then I shrugged and went back into the kitchen. I was impressed with Heather Barlow. She had gone out of her way to welcome me to Kilnsgate.
‘Well, Laura, my love,’ I said as I picked up my teacup and held it in the air in an imaginary toast. ‘Here we are. Home at last.’
2
Famous Trials: Grace Elizabeth Fox, April 1953, by Sir Charles Hamilton Morley In his 1946 essay
‘The Decline of the English Murder,’ Mr. George Orwell noted several common elements of the type of murder that provides the greatest amount of entertainment and satisfaction for the English public. In particular, he identified domestic life, sexual passion, paltry amounts of money, and the fear of scandal. While the murder of Ernest Fox does contain a number of these elements, it performs a subtle alchemy on them and presents us with
