Matt and I followed Lizzy into the kitchen. Matt was definitely not himself. I had never seen him act so nervous and unsure of himself. His parents were obviously a bomb, and he was just waiting for them to go off.
“We’ll definitely have enough to drink,” Lizzy said cheerfully, as she opened the wine. “I bought three bottles of wine, two red, one white, and a case of beer. And there’s plenty of hard stuff in the cabinet, too, if he wants something stronger.” She pointed to the liquor cabinet, before taking the open wine and several glasses, and headed back into the living room.
I started to follow her, but suddenly Matt grabbed my arm. When I looked up, I was surprised to see something like terror on his face. “Why did she buy all that alcohol?”
“You said your dad likes to drink.”
“Oh no,” he groaned, and covered his face with his hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“I meant that she
“That bad?” I would have laughed if he hadn’t looked so terrified.
“Yes!” He rubbed his hands hard over his face and then went over to the liquor cabinet and rummaged around, emerging with a bottle of Jack Daniels. He took two glasses out of the cabinet and poured two extra large shots. “Here.” He handed one to me and downed his in one swallow.
“I hate this stuff.”
“Trust me,” he said as he poured another one for himself. “It won’t be quite so painful if you’re half drunk too.”
He was wrong. It was still painful.
We had dinner on the patio. The sun was still up but low in the sky, casting long shadows across the lawn. It was a beautiful night, contrasting strangely with the tension at the table as we stumbled through small talk. Of course, with my family, the conversation eventually turned to football.
“Are you a Chiefs fan too?” Brian asked Joseph.
“Hell, no. I’m a Cowboys fan. I think Matt picked another team just to be rebellious. At least he didn’t pick the damn Redskins.”
“I was pretty sure you would have thrown me out of the house for that one,” Matt said dryly.
“Damn right.” I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
“Lucy,” Mom jumped in, “do you work outside of the home?”
Lucy looked a little startled, as if she hadn’t realized she might have to speak during dinner. “No, not anymore. I was a nurse for twenty-five years, but I’m retired now.”
“Did you work at a hospital or in an office?”
“In a hospital. I worked in several departments over the years, but what I loved the most was the maternity ward. I was there for the last ten years. All those babies.” For the first time her hands were still, held together in front of her like she praying. She smiled nostalgically and turned to Lizzy. “When are you due?”
“Halloween.”
Lucy turned to Mom. She was still smiling but looking sad at the same time. “I envy you. I keep hoping for a grandchild.” She glanced at Matt and then back at the table in front of her. Suddenly her smile was gone and she was fidgeting again. She looked like she regretted having said that. I realized why when Joseph opened his mouth.
“Doesn’t look to me like you’re ever going to get one so you might as well quit hoping. As far as I can tell, Matt isn’t ever going to do his duty in that department.”
“You might have noticed that I’m not physically capable of producing a child on my own.” There was not a hint of humor in his voice. Matt was staring at his plate. I had a feeling this was not a new argument.
“Don’t be a smartass with me. It’s past time for you to marry and settle down. You’re not getting any younger.”
“We’re planning a vacation,” Lucy said suddenly, in a desperately obvious ploy to change the subject.
Lizzy jumped in with her. “That’s great, Lucy. Where are you going?”
“Florida, I think, although I don’t know if we should go to—”
“Are you dating anyone?” Joseph did not seem to be aware that the topic of conversation had been changed.
“No, Dad. I’ve been busy. It’s not that easy to meet people.”
I was actually a little surprised at that, since I knew there were several single women in town who would have killed for a date with him.
“Bullshit! What about Jared here?” I just about jumped out of my chair. For half a second, I thought he was suggesting that Matt date
“Uh,” I was feeling terribly off balance, considering what a simple question it was.
“No, sir.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Well.” Matt was turning toward me with sheer horror in his eyes, trying to warn me, but it was too late. The words were already out of my mouth. “I’m gay.”
Matt’s head went down, elbows on the table and fingers laced behind his head like somebody had just yelled “duck and cover.” Lucy’s mouth formed an O of surprise, and her fidgety fingers went in to overdrive.
“You’re gay?” Joseph’s voice was terribly loud and slightly slurred. “You mean you’re a fag?”
“Well….” I was looking around the table for help, but there didn’t seem to be any forthcoming. They were all frozen in states of dreadful anticipation. Our dinner had turned into some kind of movie of the week, and no matter how poorly acted it was, nobody seemed to be changing the channel.
“So you like to fuck other men up the ass?”
That woke them all up. Everybody at the table jumped a little when he said that, but Lizzy recovered quickest. She turned back to Lucy and said loudly, “I’m sorry, Lucy. I missed what you said. Where in Florida are you going?”
Lucy was visibly shaking now, fidgeting with her necklace. “Well, I was thinking of Fort Lauderdale, but I’m not sure if only kids go there. Maybe Orlando? Have you been there?”
“I haven’t, but my brother—”
Lizzy didn’t get to tell us any more about her brother.
Joseph suddenly stood up, knocking his chair over behind him in the process. Matt looked up, startled, as Joseph pointed a finger at me and said, “Are you fucking my son? Is that what’s going on here?”
“No!” Matt and I both said in unison, and Matt said, “Dad, enough!”
“Joseph!” Lucy’s voice was a quiet plea. “We are guests here. Sit down.”
He didn’t listen. “I knew a man like you in the Marines,” he said to me. “Married and everything, and one day his wife comes home and finds him fucking another man in her bed. Earned himself a dishonorable discharge.”
Matt’s hands were white knuckled fists on the table in front of him. “You were friends with James for six years before that happened, Dad. Remember that? He was a good guy.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“He was your friend. You should have stood by him.”
“You don’t know what it’s like in the Marines. You took the sucker’s way out. Don’t try to talk to me about what I should or shouldn’t have done. You don’t know a goddamn thing about it.” He picked up his wine glass and frowned at it blurrily when he saw that it was empty. He picked up Lucy’s and drained it. Then he grabbed the open bottle off of the table and went back into the house, leaving the rest of us in uncomfortable silence on the patio.
After a minute, Lucy stood up too. Her hands were shaking, and I could tell she was close to tears. “Matt, I think you should take us back to the motel now. We’ve intruded on your friends enough for one evening.” She straightened her shirt and her skirt, smoothed her hair, and put herself back together before turning to Lizzy. “It was very nice meeting you all. Thank you for a lovely dinner.” I think she would have said more, but her chin had started to quiver, and she quickly retreated to the house.
Nobody else moved. Brian looked stunned. Mom looked pissed. Lizzy looked like she was replaying the whole
