“Of course you, my gallant knight! Not that I had any real intention of making you fall in love with me!” she added hastily, as an expression I tried to suppress must still have appeared on my face. “I knew wizards never marry, and you knew that I was quite a bit older, even though I liked to imagine we looked about the same age.”
Apparently the grey beard had fooled no one at any time. Maybe I could do better now that my beard was coming in white.
“And then, of course, it quickly became clear that you had given your heart to my niece. But still I-”
I interrupted her. “You knew I was in love with the queen? Was it that obvious? Does everybody in Yurt know?”
She looked at me with her head cocked to one side, then a surprising and quite genuine smile appeared on her face. “You’re as worried about everybody laughing behind your back as I am!”
“I’m afraid so, my lady,” I said ruefully. “But do they all know?”
She gave a tinkling little laugh. At least I had been able to cheer her up. “No, they don’t all know. Certainly my niece has no idea-she’s never had eyes for anyone but Haimeric. And I don’t think anyone else has guessed, either. There are advantages of being single and forty-eight-one has had plenty of practice in spotting both romance and unrequited love.”
I said nothing but felt very sheepish.
Maria returned to her thread, much more cheerfully. “Even though I knew you would never fall in love with me, I truly enjoyed the opportunity of having someone to flirt with, and of looking young enough that my flirtations would not simply seem pathetic. I’ve been in Yurt for four years now, and I presume I’ll live here for the rest of my life, and I’m not going to get very many more opportunities for maidenly amusements.
“I know it was wrong to deal with a demon, even if I didn’t realize then that that was what I was doing. And I know it was wrong, as the chaplain told me in great detail, to want to get extra years rather than being profoundly grateful for those years God does give us. But-maybe you can tell me-it’s not wrong, is it, just to want to have fun sometimes?”
I took both her hands in mine. It was no use referring her back to Joachim on this issue. “Maria, I’ve always been extremely fond of you, ever since I came to Yurt, and, no, it’s not wrong sometimes to want to have fun.”
She smiled rather complacently. “I knew you liked me. I knew you didn’t just think of me as a silly old woman. Otherwise you wouldn’t have let me help with your telephones, wouldn’t have tried to teach me that hard old Hidden Language, wouldn’t have given me this beautiful shawl for Christmas, and wouldn’t have been willing to lay down your life for me.”
I kept hold of her hands and looked deeply into her eyes as I spoke. I wanted to make sure that she understood exactly what I was saying, that she recognized my genuine sympathy while having absolutely no seeds of possible future romance planted in her mind.
“You’re right that I’m in love with the queen, even though I know perfectly well she’ll never look at me, and you’re right that wizards never marry anyway. But I hope that you and I can continue to be good friends over the years. After all, I’m going to be living in Yurt too, and I like to have fun sometimes myself.”
“I will try to act more mature and wise,” she said thoughtfully. “In fact, I may not have to try very hard. Coming this close to losing my soul has made me-well, think about things I never used to worry about. I think I’ll start going to chapel every day.”
I remembered the demon saying that in two years she would fall into horrible and mortal sin. Even in the cellars, it had seemed a probable lie. Sitting in my warm room, I wondered how I could have even half-believed it.
“If you notice me falling into sin again,” she said, “do let me know.”
“I will if I notice,” I said, sitting back and releasing her hands. “But this time I had no inkling, until just a few days ago. I suspected almost everybody in the castle at one time or another of working black magic, but I never suspected you.”
I smiled then and stood up. As I hoped, she stood up too. “Over the months to come, some people in the castle might wonder if you had something to do with the dragon, but no one will ever suspect you of evil intent. You’re just going to be the mature, wise-though fun-lovin-Lady Maria.”
I bent to give her cheek a very chaste kiss and opened the door for her. She waved with her black-trimmed handkerchief as she hurried away.
I turned back to my room, reaching for my curtain to draw it shut so I could take a nap at last, but instead I stood at the window for several minutes, looking after her even when she was out of sight.
