been so long since I was in the field.' He sucked on a bloodstained knuckle.
'Of course,' beamed Taywin Kroninsdau, 'there are gloves in the large basket, with the smaller berry- baskets. Oh, and if Mr. Groag was any example, there is a difference in hobgoblin and kender taste. We like the ones that aren't green.'
'Aren't green,' gritted Toede, his jaw still firmly clenched.
'11 make a note of that.'
The three of them worked the berry patch, Toede and Groag together, Taywin a little farther down, the guard with the dog watching the pair of hobgoblins. They gathered berries for what Toede thought was half an eternity but was most likely three-quarters of an hour, until each hobgoblin had a half-full basket to Taywin's full one.
'Well, you boys had better catch up. How about if I read some poetry?' she said with a smile.
'Kill me now,' muttered Toede in a prayer to the dark gods.
'Beg pardon?' She blinked at the highmaster.
'I said 'silly cow.' I was talking to Groag. He made a face when you mentioned poetry.'
'Mr. Groag, I thought you liked my poetry,' said Taywin, pouting.
'But I did, mean I do, er, I didn't,' Groag's explanation tumbled to an eventual silence as the kender pulled a small tome from her pocket. Toede turned back to his bushes, stifling a smile.
Taywin's voice was strong and clear, and did absolutely nothing to improve the quality of the poetry. Fortunately for Taywin's feelings, it was normal for hobgoblins to hate all sorts of verses above the level of obscene limericks equally, so they failed to appreciate good poetry with the same enthusiasm as bad.
Taywin intoned in her 'serious' speaking voice, dropping several octaves into a humanlike alto.
'The knight amount swept on his horse through bracken field and brawny heath and drew his sword of N'er- do-well to face each danger in its teeth.'
Groag and Toede were working close together now, a little apart from the female kender. 'I didn't make a face,' whispered Groag resentfully.
'It's all part of the plan, so don't worry,' Toede hissed back.
'He vanquished dark and dreadful lords and proved his will to fight and fight and won the hearts of all around with his fine and lordly might.'
'But I don't think it's so bad,' continued Groag.
'You wouldn't know bad if it infested your nostrils and bore young,' said Toede.
'But she writes it herself. I think she's improving.'
'Will you forget about the poetry for a moment?' shouted Toede breathily, trying to convey his rage without increasing his volume. Taywin halted, and the guard looked over at them, spear at the ready.
Toede clanked his chains as he waved at them. 'No problem, just a tuber in the way.'
Taywin returned to her declamation.
'And so the people of the land did seek him out to cure their woes to battle dark and dreadful lords and aid them in defeating foes.'
Groag sighed again. 'You think she means us when she says 'dark and dreadful lords'?'
Toede bit the inside of his mouth. 'Let's concentrate, for the moment, on escaping.'
'Escaping?' said Groag, puzzled.
'Yes, escaping, as in 'finding a lifestyle involving less-heavy jewelry.'' He clanked at Groag. 'I have half a plan.'
'And so the great and powerful knight did seek the great and holy quest to find the faith and fairest flower and put himself to holy tests.'
'Got it!' exclaimed Toede.
'Stuck yourself with a thorn again?' responded Groag.
Toede glared at Groag. 'Got the other half of the plan. Be ready to move when I say move.'
'Right, move when you say move,' agreed Groag. 'And in the meantime?'
'Pick faster. I don't know how much more poetry I can take.'
Whether spurred on by Toede's promised deliverance or Taywin's poetry, the hobgoblins filled their baskets in record time. The sun had risen high, but the vale was still wet from mist when they finished.
Then the four dined on berries and a few goose sandwiches the female kender had packed. Groag volunteered the information that he had helped grind the grain to make the bread. Toede felt his smile get more brittle by the instant.
'Well, we have to get you boys back,' said Taywin at length. 'There are other chores needing to be done.'
'Pity, it seems so… idyllic,' said Toede with a wide smile. Groag looked at him with a panicked glance. The nicer the highmaster seemed, the worse things usually got. 'Tell me, Miss Taywin, I'm confused after all this. Are we on the east side of the stream or the west?'
'The western side,' said Taywin, already gathering the baskets and the remains of the sandwiches, handing the gathered collection to the guard.
'Oh… pity. Well, we should be getting back,' sighed Toede, rising to his feet. Groag, without much choice owing to the chains, rose with him.
'Why is it a pity?' said Taywin, her cute brow wrinkling in small dimples.
'Didn't Groag tell you?' said Toede, miming shock at an apparent breach of common sense. 'The best berries are always on the eastern side. They take in the dying sun, and as such blush the reddest. It's common hobgoblin lore…'
Groag started to say, 'I never heard of…' but Toede stepped in quickly, 'Perhaps he was waiting to tell you later. I'm sorry if I spoiled the surprise.' Toede gave a quarter turn toward his companion, his eyes flashing the threat of holy terror.
'Well, yes,' said Groag quickly, 'a surprise. It was going to be a surprise.
'Perhaps next time, then…' said Toede. 'Besides, there's no way to cross this creek.'
Toede took three half-steps away, then turned. Taywin was still standing there, thinking. Watching a kender gather her thoughts made Toede think of an old rain barrel about to explode from being overfilled.
'I've never heard of that business about the eastern side,' said the kender at length, 'but there's a log wide enough to walk across a hundred yards or so down below. We can check it out.'
For the first time the guard spoke, and Toede realized why he had kept silent-his voice cracked with adolescence. 'Milady, these are prisoners, and…'
'Oh, for Mishakal's sake, Miles,' said Taywin. 'It will only take a moment, and Daddy will be back this afternoon so there won't be that much to have them do.'
The five of them (the dog padding along in last place) weaved their way down along the banks to where an ancient maple had fallen across a narrows. It had been used as a bridge before, and most of the bark had already peeled away, leaving a smooth, straight pole between opposite banks of slippery rock.
The kender ideal of 'crossable' was at great odds with the hobgoblin definition of the same, or anyone else's for that matter. The water thundered about ten feet below in a torrent, squeezing between the two rocky banks before passing over a low falls and into a series of rapids.
'Better berries, you say?' said Taywin, taking the lunch basket from the guard.
The guard shook his head, 'I don't think it's wise to take the prisoners across, milady.'
'If I may be so bold,' broke in Toede, 'but the young man, sorry, young kender is correct. In our current condition I don't think we could make it across such a narrow crossing.' He held out his chained hands and cocked his head at the young female.
Taywin looked at the cuffs as if they had just that moment entered her vision. Toede could swear steam was pouring out her ears as her brain struggled to grasp the concept that two chained hobgoblins could not cross the stream. She touched the iron key that hung around her neck as if it were a holy fetish.
Then she nodded. 'Right. I'll go across first and see if the berries are truly sweeter. Then next time we'll bring more guards and do some major picking.'
With that she turned and, with surefooted ease, started to cross the log, ignoring the fact that the crossing lacked anything resembling a handrail and was slick with spray.
Toede sighed as the young kender guard stepped up next to him. 'She's real smart, she is,' the kender said with a grin.
