For My Country’s Freedom

created his impressions from what his father Captain James had told him, and of course from the portrait. With the smoke of battle in the background, Denziel was depicted at Quebec supporting Wolfe. The painter had caught the other man, the man behind the uniform. There was humour in his eyes and mouth. Had he had a mistress, as his grandson did?

Now that her eyes had become accustomed to the gloom she could see a faint glow from the great fire, then she saw Bolitho. He was sitting on the rug with one arm supporting himself against a chair, the chair where his father had used to sit and read to him. As if he could not bear to look beyond the window, to be reminded that the sea was out there. Waiting, always waiting for the next Bolitho. A goblet of brandy stood by the hearth, catching the dying embers like a magnifying glass.

Bolitho opened his eyes and stared at her, and she imagined he thought he was caught in a dream.

He made to rise but she slipped down to his side and raked the embers until there was a lively flicker again.

Bolitho dragged off his coat and threw it over her shoulders. 'Forgive me, Kate, I fell asleep! I had no idea…'

She touched his mouth with her fingers. 'It is nothing. I’m glad I woke.'

Catherine watched his profile, his emotions clear in spite of the shadows. So many times they had sat here like this, talking, listening, needing one another. He was never impatient with her, even when they had discussed her purchase of the collier brig, Maria Josй. Another man, another sailor might have thought it rash. He had merely said, 'We shall have to see when the season begins. It is a bold venture but, even if we fail, the vessel will increase in value.' Always we. Even when they were parted, they were always together.

He said suddenly, 'Adam told me.'

She waited, feeling his pain as her own, but she said nothing.

Bolitho continued, 'He is in hell because of it, and because of what he believes it may do to me.'

'Will it?'

He held her more tightly around the shoulders. 'Who am I to rebuke him? I took you from another, as I took Cheney.' He looked at her, startled at hearing the name again from his own mouth. 'He wanted to leave immediately. In his condition he would have killed himself on those damned roads.'

'I came to you willingly. I loved you, I always did. If I have one regret, it is the waste of years before you found me.'

He looked into the fire. 'It happened after Golden Plover was reported lost. Zenoria was here and, like you, she awakened in the night. Adam was a boy again, crying his heart out because he thought you and I were dead. Val was thought missing as well.' He shook his head. 'What a lot that damnable vessel has to answer for!'

'We were together, dearest of men…'

'I know. I think of it often.'

She asked, 'Did he tell you everything?'

Bolitho nodded slowly. 'They were lovers, perhaps even in love. But when the news broke that we had been rescued by Larne the deed was already done. I do not know how Zenoria feels about it- she has a good husband and a child now. It was an act of need, not madness or deceit.' He looked at her squarely and touched her hair with great care. 'But Adam is in love with her. It is a secret he must keep, and so must she.'

'I am so glad he told you. You of all people mean so much to him.'

'There is a letter.'

She tensed as he continued. 'In despair he wrote to her. Last year sometime. That will be the test. We must wait and hope.'

Catherine picked up the goblet. It was quite hot from the fire. She felt him watching her as she swallowed some cognac. 'When will you know, Richard, about London?'

He sounded almost relieved to change the subject. 'Their lordships seem very considerate about it.'

Catherine drank more cognac and felt it burning on her lips. There was more to come.

She asked, 'Sir James Hamett-Parker has gone, I believe?'

He nodded. 'Oblivion. There is another in his place. Admiral Sir Graham Bethune. He should do well.'

She turned to face him. 'You have often said that the navy is like a family. But you have not mentioned him before.'

'It was a long time ago. I lost account of him. A good deal younger than Hamett-Parker, which will be a change for the better.'

She asked softly, 'Younger than you, Richard?'

Bolitho replied, 'He was a midshipman when I got my first command, in Sparrow, as a matter of fact.' He seemed to consider her question. 'Yes, he is younger. About four years, I would think.' He looked at her steadily and she guessed if it were light enough he would have the same expression as Adam when he spoke of his Anemone, the defiance and the pride. 'I was only twenty-two when I took command. That was in Antigua as well.'

'It does not seem right that he should be able to give you orders.'

He smiled. 'My tiger again! The navy works in strange ways. Luck, patronage, fate determine seniority, not always ability. Remember that Our Nel was ten years younger than Collingwood at Trafalgar, but they were still good friends.'

He took her hands and they stood up together.

Bolitho said, 'To bed now, or my girl will curse me in the morning!'

She glanced down at the rug. Where it must have happened. It was easy to imagine Adam’s feelings when he had been in this room.

She answered quietly, 'Not a girl any more, darling Richard. I am a woman now, with all a woman’s passions. Hates too, when necessary.'

They walked arm-in-arm to the stairs. The solitary candle had gone out and the grey-eyed rear-admiral was in darkness.

They paused on the stairs and listened to the house, the creaks and tiny sounds which gave it life.

Bolitho said, 'They will offer me a new appointment, another flagship. I shall meet you in London. First I shall need to go to Plymouth.'

She watched him. It never failed to surprise her that he could think of so many things at once.

'I would not wish to involve you, Kate, or let anybody think he was being manipulated.'

'You are going to see James Tyacke.'

'Yes. I cannot bear to be parted from you. Every hour is precious now.'

Tyacke came to her mind as vividly as if he were in the room with them. He would be an attractive man but for the side of his face, which looked as if it had been clawed off by some terrible beast. She remembered when they had sighted Larne bearing down on them after the suffering and death they had witnessed; and the offer of a yellow gown, which Tyacke had kept hidden in his sea-chest, to cover her sunburned body. The gown bought for the girl who had rejected him after his injury He was worth a better woman than she could ever have been.

Bolitho said simply, 'I want him to be my flag-captain.'

She said, 'He will never accept. I am not even certain that he should.'

Bolitho guided her to the last stairs. Then he said, 'That is the cruelty of it, Kate. I need him. I cannot manage without him.'

Later as they lay in the big four-poster, she considered what he had said.

And what he had not said. About his impaired vision and what might happen if the other eye was injured. He must have a captain he could trust. No wonder Richard wanted to meet Tyacke alone. He must never think that Richard was using her presence to persuade him into accepting the promotion and all it stood for. And what it would demand of him.

She pressed her body against his and murmured, 'Whatever you do, dearest of men, I shall be waiting.'

The next sound she heard was a cock crowing, and she had not been dreaming.