“I tried to spare you the non-details. He did have a nice smile, though,” I mused.
Kim looked up at me with renewed interest and opened her mouth to say something, but Professor Hunter walked in the room. I hadn’t noticed the numerous empty seats. Some of the students were tossing their papers on his desk and leaving the way they came instead of meandering to their seats as usual.
“What are you still doing here? Turn in your papers and get out. Your grades will be posted on the web site. Happy Holidays,” he said to those of us still peppered across the room.
As finals week came to an end, the nightly ritual of curling into a ball to cry seemed to be a permanent fixture in my life. The first week of break, I had a bit more control over the emptiness when it hit. After that, there were a few nights that I escaped the sadness all together. The grief found new strength Christmas night, but to my relief falling asleep without tears became a bit easier after the holidays came to a close.
I found it disconcerting that although time provided some relief, I was also further from when Jack was a part of my life. Each passing day was that much longer since I’d been able to call him or hear his voice. With time, relief and apprehension intertwined.
When the spring semester began, Jared had become a blurred image from a day I wanted to file away, so it was a surprise to see him standing a few feet away from me in line at the Urban Outfitters off campus. I wasn’t confident that it was him at first, but when he accepted his receipt from the sales person and turned, I stared at him long enough to be certain. He didn’t suffer from the same hesitation that I did.
“Nina?”
I felt my eyebrows rise while I tried to think of something besides ‘yes’ to reply with. My mouth opened, but nothing came out.
He pointed at his chest like he was speaking to a deaf mute. “I’m Jared. We shared a cab?” He patiently waited for me to recall his face, and I realized I hadn’t forgotten an inch of it.
“I thought that was you,” I said, trying a polite smile. Something was wrong with my throat. It felt dry, and as if I was drowning in my own saliva at the same time. I swallowed hard and tried to remember how not to be a ridiculous teenaged undergrad.
Jared’s expression skipped from relief to elation as a broad smile appeared across his face. A warm feeling bubbled up from my chest into my face, and I felt the heat release from my cheeks.
Oh, God, don’t blush! I thought to myself. But it was too late. I had no idea how to recover. “You seem to be having a better day. Made it to the bus on time and all that?”
“Something like that,” I mumbled. “How is the security business?”
“Interesting.” A glimmer touched his eyes that I wasn’t quite sure how to translate.
Our attention was simultaneously drawn to the phone vibrating in his jacket pocket. He smiled apologetically before reaching down to silence the distraction.
“Did you have a pleasant Christmas?” I tried not to cringe once the words left my mouth. Ugh. So unimaginative, I thought.
“Something like that,” he quoted.
I smiled at his teasing. He seemed so comfortable around me. I wasn’t sure if it was confidence or that he was just one of those people that could carry on a conversation with anyone and make them feel he’d known them for years.
I raised the silver sweater tunic in my hands. “Birthday shopping for my mother.”
A man behind me cleared his throat, and I realized that we were holding up the line. Jared smiled and took a step backward toward the register. I realized our conversation wasn’t over, and I turned my attention to the red- haired girl behind the counter, trying to conceal my enthusiasm.
She handed me the receipt, and Jared accompanied me outside. He stared down into my eyes, warmly scanning my face. I didn’t remember him being quite so tall. He towered over me, at least six feet two inches. How had I not noticed the incredible color of his eyes? They seemed to glow as he watched me fidget.
“Are you from Providence?” I asked.
“I am,” he said, seeming amused by my awkwardness.
“Did you go to Brown?”
“No.”
If his eyes weren’t so animated by the conversation, I would have guessed by his short answers that it was my cue to excuse myself with my tail tucked between my legs.
“Really? I’m trying to place you. It seems like we’ve met before.” Did I just issue him a pick up line? Fantastic, I’ve now sunk to the level of desperate teenage boys everywhere.
“I don’t think so. That’s not something I would forget,” he said. “I was just going to grab a bite to eat at the end of the block. Would you join me?”
I thought I had said yes, but he continued to stare at me expectantly.
“Nina?”
“Yes? I mean yes. That would be great.” I tried to smile through my humiliation and wondered if I was always so articulately clumsy. I couldn’t imagine why he was still speaking to me.
We walked to the end of the block to cross the street at the light. Jared guided me forward with his hand on the small of my back, and looked all around us as we crossed. I stifled a giggle; he reminded me of the President’s security detail. The only thing missing was a communication device in his ear and standard issue black Ray- Bans.
Jared once again opened the door for me. I had seen the restaurant several times, with it being close to campus, but I’d never ventured in.
“You’ll like it,” he assured me. I paused in a thought wondering if I’d said anything out loud.
“Welcome to Blaze,” the hostess said, motioning to us that she could seat us immediately. The waitress appeared a few moments later, and Jared waited for me to order.
“I’ll have a Dr. Pepper.”
“Make that two,” Jared said, raising two fingers. His eyes didn’t stray from mine.
The waitress nodded and left us to each other. I was curious if he would have ordered a beer had he not asked a toddler to accompany him.
“I don’t think I thanked you for getting me home.”
“Actually, you did,” he said, putting his elbows on the table and crossing his arms.
“Oh. That night is sort of a blur,” I grimaced.
“I’m sorry you lost your dad, Nina. I’m glad I was there.”
I tucked my hair behind my ears. “I’m glad you were there, too.”
“It probably wasn’t the safest idea…sitting alone in the dark. Lots of crazies out there,” his tone was casual, but underneath I caught a hint of anxiousness.
“I grew up in that neighborhood. It’s safe, I assure you.”
He laughed and shook his head. “It’s always safe until something bad happens.”
The waitress brought our drinks and asked if we were ready to order. Once again, Jared waited for me to begin.
“I’ll have the Greek salad,” I said. I glanced over at Jared, who studied me with raised eyebrows and a wry smile. I wasn’t about to be one of those girls, “And the linguine.”
The waitress turned her attention to Jared. “For you?”
“I’ll have the house salad with blue cheese and the Shrimp Scampi. And would you bring us some of those sweet potato fries, please?” he said, handing the menu to the waitress. Once she left I looked around the restaurant and then peeked over at Jared, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off me.
I floundered for conversation under his stare. Jared’s eyes were an incredible blue-grey; they almost glowed against his lightly bronzed skin. His thick brown eyebrows sat atop his almond-shaped eyes and were just slightly darker than his strategically messy dark blonde hair. His natural highlights glimmered in the early afternoon sun that broke through the windows. He was clearly more than just attractive. I wondered again why he was still speaking to me.
“Sweet potato fries?” I asked.
“They’re famous. Well, they’re famous to me. You have to dip them in these little sauces they give you to fully appreciate them. It’s an experience.”
