singular voluptuousness in libidinous scenery such as will appear in the tasty pleasure- takings which I plan to describe in the sequel, that one may touch the heart and mind of blase libertines and combat the atrocious penchants quickened by the abominable literature of the infamous and cruel Sade. And so I reserve all my energy for representing almost ineffable, almost indescribable lovemakings, couplings which outdo everything the racked imagination of Justine' s author was able to invent.
Chapter Two
Before moving on to the tableaux I have just promised, I must nevertheless devote a few lines to relating an extraordinary adventure I had during my stay in the rue Saint- Honore, at the age of twenty and while engaged in my studies of the law.
Directly opposite the house lived an old watchmaker who had a youthful and charming wife. She was his third. The first had rendered him very happy indeed for a dozen years – life with her had been uninterrupted drunkenness, delight – the second had also done mightily well, but for only eighteen months and with the aid of a younger sister who would replace her in the marital bed whenever the wife felt in the slightest way indisposed, because she did not want to have her husband fuck under unfavorable, and possibly disgusting, circumstances. This excellent and thoughtful wife having left this life, the watchmaker, then sixty, married the pretty and gracious Fidelette, putative offspring of an architect but in reality the child of a marquis.
For mellowness and poignancy, this third wife' s beauty had no equal. Her husband idolized her, but he was no longer young. However, being wealthy, he lavished upon her everything her heart could desire. But his gifts and kindnesses failed somehow of the mark, and with every passing day Fidelette grew more despondent.
' My angel,' her good husband said, ' I worship you, and you know it. All the same, you are unhappy, and I fear for your days. There is nothing I would not do for you. Tell me what it is you desire – anything, no matter what, provided it is in my power to secure your happiness, I shall do as you bid me…'
' Anything? No matter what?' asked the young woman.
' Anything, yes. Is there something wanting to your heart, or to your divine little cunt?'
' You fill my heart to overflowing, my dear, but elsewhere… I have a spirited temper and warm blood, and my trick itches terrible.'
' Does it make any difference to you who undertakes to appease your dear little hungers? Or have you some special taste, some particular caprice?'
' I love no one but you.'
' Is there not anyone who attracts your regard? Only speak and I shall this instant go and bring him hither.'
' Ah, well… there is that neighbor of ours who lives across the way, the young man who looks at me and of whom I' ve already complained.'
' I understand. ' Tis enough, my sweet. You must have thought me thick- skinned indeed. Go take your bath, my beloved one. I' ll return in a trice.'
He dashed off to find me. ' Neighbor,' said he upon entering my room, '' tis rumored you are in love with Madame Folin, the watchmaker' s wife. Is it true?'
' Upon my soul,' said I, ' it is indeed, I am wild about her.'
' Then come with me and we' ll see what' s to be done. Come at once.' He seized me by the hand and led me to his house. ' Remove your clothes. Then go into this bathroom which my wife has just left. There you see some of my undergarments. Put them on and go regale her. Play the new husband or settle the thing for some other night – for twenty other nights. Suit yourself so long as you also suit her. I worship my Fidelette and I would do anything for her and am content simply to see her happy, satisfied. After you' ve done fucking her, after she has had her fill of discharges and discharging, I' ll encunt her in my turn… and thus bestow my own modest little present.'
He had me climb into the bed his wife had been occupying since finishing her bath and then he started to take himself off.
' Oh, dear friend,' exclaimed that timid dove, ' you leave me alone with a stranger? Will you not stay and witness the pleasures I owe to none but you?' And she kissed us both. The bed was wide and capacious. The considerate Folin got into it with us. I climbed upon his wife' s belly. The fires were already burning brightly and my own torch glowed red. There, before the husband' s eyes, I buried my prick in the wife' s cunt. She replied to my attack, and furiously.
' Courage, dearie,' cried that excellent watchmaker, fingering my nuggets, ' let fly, my duckie, raise your ass, get your tongue into his mouth! This brave young fucker' s ready to flood you. You, my buck, dig in, dig in, head for bottom, ring the bell!'
We discharged like a pair of angels. I fucked her six times before the night was over. Husband and wife were equally pleased with my performance.
I revelled in this remarkable situation and repeatedly tasted these celestial, more- than- human delights until Fidelette perished out of this world while in the act of bringing the fruit of our fuckery into it.
Chapter Three
I shall omit giving the full details of my amorous exploits with the person who was my clandestine wife, since I have never publicly acknowledged that marriage with Conquette. Although her looks had been marred by smallpox, she was a robust, splendidly made creature, with a cunt so insatiable that I was obliged to let her take the bit in her teeth and wander abroad to fuck whomever came her way. She was the daughter of an innkeeper in the rue Saint- Jacques and the sister of a bookseller; she died, syphilis- ridden, long after she' d borne me two girls. Ah, but that one knew her job to perfection! Never did a woman encunted treat her rider to a finer outing. Conquette was the first woman I ever embuggered, but that came about in reply to her invitation and at a moment when she was in doubtful health. Afterwards she foisted off her younger sister' s ass on me, telling me ' twas her own: we were in the dark and I believed her, but the target the young lady presented me was not her ass but her cunt. I detected the fraud but have no real grievance to express: it was delicious howbeit everyday fuckery.
When my sister- in- law married and ceased to be at our disposal, my wife seduced her hairdresser, whom she heartily urged to submit to an anal penetration, alleging, as argument, that I was habituated to navigating the narrower strait. But this girl, having discussed the problem with me during the day, got her cunt plumbed that night without Conquette noticing into which aperture I inserted my device. In this way I had six all very pretty hairdressers in the course of twelve years; my wife paid them, thinking by this means to conceal from me the fact she had the pox. And ' twas thus I enjoyed a feast of those delightful cuntlets for which Nature had given me such a powerful appetite.
It was after the sixth hairdresser that Conquette, gravely ill, noticing that one of my schoolfellows was paying court to Mademoiselle Beauconin, my niece- daughter. She noticed that obstacles to his success were being created, and that my niece- daughter loved him, so she suggested to Mariette that she allow her lover to have his way with her, but fearing lest the lad be unable to depucelate her, she told me that the last of the hairdressers was sending one of her pupils who stood in dire need of a good encunting. But, she added, I was not to say a word while doing the task, reminding me that my niece was sleeping in the adjoining chamber. She gave me further instructions to which I hardly listened, as I was eager to be off. A hairdresser' s pupil? Provided I fucked a fresh young cunt, I cared damned little to whom it belonged. Naked, I approached the bed and stepped in. I found newly burgeoning breasts at hand, and a cunt which lay quivering.
I entered, I demolished the maidenhead. I had repeated the exercise three times when I was summoned from the bed. At first I fancied this to be some convention of which hitherto I had been in ignorance, but having listened more closely, I was most surprised to hear the spur being applied to my mount and my wife, while proffering encouragements, giving directions to her niece and my comrade. I went back to my own bed, pondering these curious events. The following day, I asked Conquette for an explanation.
' Why,' she said, '' tis all very simple. You handselled your niece before your schoolmate stuffed her, for I
