With a look she could hardly mistake.
But the innocent glance of that virgin
Betokened that no guile she knew,
Though he begged in bold tones of entreaty, She still wouldn't take up the cue.
He kissed her and prayed and beseeched her, No answer received in reply, Till his fingers were placed on her bosom, And he crossed his leg over her thigh.
Then she said, 'I can never, no never,
Consent to such deeds until wed;
You may try though the digital process,'
That maiden so virtuous said.
And he drew her still closer and closer, His hand quick placed under her clothes, And her clitoris youthful he tickled, Till that maiden excited arose.
'Fuck me now, dear, oh, fuck me,' she shouted, 'Fuck me now, fuck me now, or I die.'
'I can't, I have spent in my breeches,'
Was that youth's disappointing reply.
Monsignor Peter had, after an infinite amount of persuasion, given me the address where Pinero Balsam was to be obtained, and I had laid in a decent stock of it, for though each small bottle cost a sovereign, I felt morally sure that it was the nearest approximation to the mythical elixir vitae of the ancients that we moderns had invented. Some of this I had secretly dropped into the port wine, and the effect upon my guests had already become very pronounced.
'I say, Clinton,' said the Junior of the party, who had only 'passed' a month before, and who might be just turned twenty, 'your dinner was splendid, your tipple has a bouquet such as my inexperience has never suggested. Have you anything in the shape of petticoats about half so good? If so, give me a look in.'
The youth was rapidly getting maudlin and randy; just then came a faint rap at the door. It was the old woman who swept and garnished the 'diggings'.
'I thought I might find Mr. Mitchell here, sir,' she said apologetically, 'here's a telegram come for him.' And curtsying, the old girl vanished, glad to escape the fumes of wine and weed which must have nearly choked her.
'No bad news, I hope,' I said.
'Not at all,' said Sydney. 'What's the time?'
'Nearly 8.30,' I replied, consulting my chronometer.
'Then I shall have to leave you fellows at nine; my married sister Fanny arrives at Euston from the north on the 9.30.'
'What a pity!' said the callow Junior, 'if it were a sweetheart now one might be overjoyed at your good fortune-but a sister!'
'Is it the handsome one?' put in Wheeler.
'Yes,' said Sydney, showing us the face in a locket, the only piece of jewellery he boasted.
There was a silence as all clustered around the likeness.
'By Jove,' said Tom Mallow, the roue of the party, 'if I had a sister like that I should go clean staring mad to think she wasn't some other fellow's sister, so that I might have a fair and reasonable chance.'
I said nothing, but I fell in love with that face to such an extent that I felt there was nothing I would not do to possess the owner.
I, of course, presented a calm exterior, and under the guise of a host who knew his duty, plied them with a rare old port, and proposed toast after toast and health after health, until I had the satisfaction of seeing in less than three-quarters of an hour, every member of the crew so dead drunk that I felt I could afford to leave the chambers without any fear of a mishap; then rolling the recumbent Sydney over, for he was extended prone upon the hearth-rug, I subtracted the wire from his pocket and saw that his sister's name was Lady Fanny Twisser.
'Oh,' I said, a light breaking in upon me, 'this then is the girl Sydney's plotting mother married to a rich baronet old enough to be her grandfather; this doubles my chances,' and locking the door I made my way into the street. It was 9.19, and I was a mile and a quarter from the station.
'Hansom!'
'Yes, sir.'
'A guinea if you can drive me to Euston Station in ten minutes.'
That man earned his guinea.
CHAPTER 10
From the booking office I emerged on to the arrival platform, and hailing a superior-looking porter, placed a sovereign in his hand, whispering in his ear'The train coming in the distance contains a Lady Twisser; engage a good cab, put all her luggage on it, and if I should happen to miss the lady, as I might do in this crowd, conduct me to her.'
He obeyed my instructions au pied de la lettre, and in less than two minutes I was shaking hands on the strength of a self-introduction with Lady Fanny.
I explained that her brother was engaged in consultation with a senior counsel at the bar, and that, had it not been a very important case, he would have met her in person, but my instructions were that she was to come to his chambers, where he would probably be by the time we arrived.
Lady Fanny's portrait had by no means exaggerated her loveliness.
A stately Grecian nose and finely cut lips suggested to me that she was a mare that might shy, but then her soft, brown, dreamy eyes told a sweeter tale, and I leaned back in the cab and almost wished I had not touched the Pinero cordial, for I was in momentary fear of spending in my trousers.
'This, I think, is your first visit to London.'
'Scarcely,' she replied, in a voice whose gentle music made my heart bound, 'I came up with my husband six months ago to be 'presented, but we only stayed the day.'
'London is a splendid city,' I rejoined, 'so full of life and gaiety, and the shops and bazaars are always replete with every knick-knack; for ladies it must seem a veritable paradise.'
Lady Fanny only sighed, which I thought strange, but before my cogitations could take form we were at my chambers.
'Had not my boxes better be sent to some hotel?' said Lady Fanny. 'I am, of course, only going to make a call here.'
'Yes,' I returned, 'that is all arranged,' and tipping the cabman handsomely, I directed him to take them to a quiet hotel in Norfolk Street, Strand, and conducted her ladyship to her brother's rooms.
Here I left her for a few moments to see after my drunken guests, but found them all snoring peacefully, some on the floor, others on chairs and sofas, but all evidently settled for the night.
After knocking at Sydney's door I again entered his sitting-room, but found it empty.
Damn it, I thought to myself, the bird hasn't flown, I hope.
My ears were at this moment saluted with the gurgling which signalled that her ladyship was relieving herself in the adjoining apartment, and I quietly sat down and awaited her return.
On seeing me she started and turned as red as a full-blown peony, the flower being a simile suggested by the situation, and said, 'I had no idea, Mr. Clinton, that-'
'Pray, Lady Fanny, do not mention it; I know exactly what you were about to say.'
'Indeed?'
'Yes, you as a matter of fact didn't know what to say, because you thought I heard you-a-hem-in the next room-but, my dear Lady Fanny, in London we are not so particular as the hoydenish country folks, and as an old friend of your brother's you will pardon my saying that I do not think you have treated me overly well.' 'Treated you- really, Mr. Clinton, you amaze me; pray what have I done?'
