“I believe in being a good and true friend, Hayley, but I’m not letting you have sex with Logan.”
Hayley snorted out a laugh, then gave Stella an elbow nudge. “Spoilsport, and though I wasn’t going there, I bet—wow.”
Stella’s smile was lazy as a cat’s. “You bet right.”
“Anyway. I was just thinking how it would be to have someone as crazy about me as Logan is about you. Toss in a couple of great kids, a beautiful home you’ve made together, and who needs fantasies?”
“You’ll have what you’re looking for one day, too.”
“Listen to me, you’d think I was the redheaded stepchild. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.” She rolled her shoulders as if shrugging off a weight. “I keep catching myself doing a poor-me routine. It’s not like me, Stella. I’m happy. And even when I’m not, I look for a way to make myself happy. I don’t brood and bitch. Or hardly.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Maybe I’ve got a thing for Harper, but a little frustration’s not enough to bring me down. Next time you hear me feeling sorry for myself, give me a good smack.”
“Sure. What are friends for?”
SHE MEANT IT, too. She wasn’t the type to sit around ticking off the negatives of her life to see if she could make them outweigh the positives. If something was wrong, something was missing, she acted. Fix the problem and move ahead. Or if the problem couldn’t be fixed, she found the best way to live with it.
When her mother had left, she’d been sad and scared and hurt. But there’d been nothing she could do to bring her back. So she’d done without—and done pretty damn well, Hayley thought as she drove back to Harper House.
She’d learned how to help make a home, and she and her father had had a good life. They’d been happy; she’d been loved. And she’d been useful.
She’d done well in school. She’d gotten a job to help with expenses. She knew how to work, and how to enjoy the work. She liked to learn, and to sell people things that made them happy.
If she’d stayed in Little Rock, at the bookstore, she’d have made manager. She’d have earned it.
Then her father had died. That had blasted a hole in the foundation of her life, and had shaken her like nothing before or since. He’d been her rock, as she’d been his. Nothing had felt steady or sure when he’d died, and her grief had been a constant raw ache.
So she’d turned to a friend—that’s all he’d been really, she admitted as she turned down the drive to Harper House. A nice boy, a comfort.
Lily had come from that, and she wasn’t ashamed of it. Maybe comfort wasn’t love, but it was a positive act, a giving one. How could she have paid that kindness back by pushing the boy into marriage, or responsibility when he’d already moved on by the time she’d realized she was pregnant?
She hadn’t wallowed—or hardly. She hadn’t cursed God or man, for long. She’d accepted responsibility for her own actions, as she’d been taught, and had made the choice that was right for her.
To keep the child, and raise the child on her own.
Hadn’t worked out quite that way, though, she thought with a smile as she parked. Little Rock, the bookstore, the house she’d shared with her father had no longer been her comfort zones once she’d started to show. Once the looks and the questions and the murmurs had begun.
So, fresh start.
She climbed out of the car, rounded it to open the back door and unhook Lily from her car seat.
Sell everything that could be sold, pack up the rest. Positive, move forward. All she’d expected by coming here to Roz was the possibility of a job. What she’d been given was family.
Just more proof, to her mind, that good things happened when you took steps, when you worked for them—and when you were lucky enough to find people who’d give you a chance to do your best.
“That’s what we are, Lily.” She hoisted Lily up, covered her face with kisses. “We’re a couple of lucky girls.”
She swung the diaper bag over her shoulder, bumped the car door shut with her hip. But as she started toward the house an idea bloomed.
Maybe it was time to try her luck again.
Sit around waiting for things to happen and nothing much did. But act, you either failed or succeeded. Either was better than standing still.
She strolled around the house, taking her time, just to see if she could talk herself out of it. But the idea was planted now, and she couldn’t find a good enough reason to uproot it.
Maybe he’d be shocked or stunned or even appalled. Well, that would be his problem. At least she’d know
As she rounded the curve in the path, she set Lily down, and let her little girl trot toward Harper’s front door.
Maybe he wasn’t home, out with some woman. Or worse, had some woman in
It was time she dealt with it.
Though the dark wasn’t deep yet, the path lights were glowing, those pretty soft green lanterns speared at the edges of the brick to guide the way. A few early lightning bugs blinked on and off, on and off over the heads of flowers, and out beyond to the roll of grass to lose themselves in the shadows of the woods.
She drew in the perfume of heliotrope, sweet peas, roses, and the more pungent aroma of earth. All of those scents, along with the different tones of growing green would forever make her think of Harper, and this place.
She caught up with Lily, knocked. On impulse she stepped back and to the side, leaving her little girl clapping her hands at Harper’s front door. Where the porch light was on, a glowing circle of yellow.
When the door opened, she heard Lily give her greeting—something between hi and hey and a cry of pleasure.
“Look what I found at my front door.”
From her vantage point, Hayley could see Lily’s arms go up; and Harper’s come down. When he scooped her up, Lily was already babbling in her excited and incomprehensible language.
“Is that right? Just thought you’d drop by to say hi? Maybe you ought to come in and have a cookie, but we’d better find your mama first.”
“She’s right here.” Laughing, Hayley stepped over to the door. “Sorry, but it was so cute. You know she can’t walk by your place without wanting to see you, so I thought I’d knock and let her stand there on her own.”
She reached out, but as usual when Harper was involved, Lily shook her head and wrapped herself around her favorite man.
“I mentioned the C word. Why don’t you come in and I’ll dig one out for her.”
“You’re not busy?”
“No. Was just thinking about getting a beer and doing some paperwork. Just as soon postpone the paperwork part of it.”
“I always like coming in here.” She glanced around the living room as he carried Lily back toward the kitchen. “You’re pretty tidy, too, for a single straight guy.”
“Comes from living with Mama, I guess.” With Lily on his hip, he reached in a cupboard and got out the box of animal crackers he kept on hand for her. “Now how’d these get here?”
He opened the box, let her dig one out. “Want a beer?”
“I wouldn’t mind. I stopped off at Stella’s after work. Ended up having burgers on the grill, but I passed on the wine. I don’t like sipping when I’m driving, even just a little when I’ve got Lily in the car.”
He offered her a beer, got one for himself. “How you doing?” When she only angled her head, he shrugged. “Word spreads. I heard about what happened. In any case, it’s something we’re all involved in, so word should spread.”
“It’s a little embarrassing to have word of my sex dreams spreading.”
“It wasn’t like that. Besides, nothing wrong with a good sex dream.”
“I’d as soon the next one I have be all my own idea.” She tipped back the beer, watching him. “You look a little like him, you know.”
“Sorry?”
“Reginald, especially now that I’ve seen him in what you could call a more intimate situation. Something more
