Digressions Into Erotica

He sniggered. I giggled like a schoolgirl. I settled back down on my blanket and didn’t read my book, though I was holding it in front of my face thinking, concentrate,darn it! Okay, she’s creeping into the building, even though her big, strong, handsomedetective ‘just friend’ warned her against it… But it was no use. I just couldn’t focus.

I won’t bore you with the details of my frantic afternoon trying to decide if I should buy something new to wear, or if that would be too ‘obvious’. I’ve embarrassed myself enough. Let’s skip ahead to the good part. And believe me, it’s good. Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, I opted for the casual look-jeans and a cashmere sweater my ex-mother-in-law bought me for Christmas just after the separation. Thanks, Janet. Knewit’d come in handy some day.

Blah, blah, blah, the boys got some quality time with Grandma. Overnight.

I’m not saying I was planning on anything, but I was open to possibilities. Go ahead.

Call me a floozy. It had been way too long for me to care about the first date rule. I didn’t intend on throwing myself at him, but if he offered, I sure as hell wasn’t going to refuse.

He picked me up at seven-ish-fully clothed this time, darn it. I can’t think of words delicious enough to describe how his butt looked in his jeans when he bent to move some books off the passenger seat of his car. Score one for the denim workers of the world. Oh, and points for the quick thinking lady who decided to wear jeans for her date.

Yikes! I was on a date!

We had a surprisingly relaxed dinner at my new all-time-favorite restaurant, a little hole-in-the-wall, family- owned Mexican joint. Maybe it was the Margaritas as big as my head, but I was really mellow and okay with everything. And it was nice to talk to an adult about adult things. Not XXX adult things, but just things: life, plans, ambitions-

stuff like that.

The evening progressed swimmingly, and before we knew it, we’d been sitting in the cracked red leatherette booth for three hours. Our knees touched under the table, and the heat radiating off of him just about melted me into a puddle of pheromones. It was chemistry, pure and simple. I was all tingly and breathing extra deep, because the air felt cold in my nostrils, but soft and warm in my lungs.

Which is why, when we scrapped the movie idea and opted for my house, we were holding hands like high- school sweethearts and smiling shyly at each other.

There was a brief awkward moment when we entered my house-foreign body on the premises and all that. But when I turned to offer him something to drink, he captured my face in his hands and kissed me. The floodgates crashed open.

Suddenly, we couldn’t get close enough to each other. We wrestled to get as much of our bodies touching as possible. I couldn’t stand up anymore because someone had unlocked my knees, and they trembled and wavered beneath me. I raised one leg and wrapped it around his hip to steady myself and draw him closer still.

His hand cupped the curve of my bottom, and shivers radiated through my body.

Gone were the cynic and the comedienne. I was all kinds of romance novel heroine: all heaving bosoms and ‘take me now or lose me forever’. He hooked my other knee over his arm and scooped me up, and my legs snaked around his hips and clasped at the ankles.

“Which…way…” he gasped at me. I could only fling my arm in the general direction of my bedroom.

I latched my lips onto his throat and nibbled, tasted and sucked as if I hadn’t eaten in days. This is good! I kept saying to myself.

We bounced off the walls a few times on the way, but we were oblivious. When we hit my bed, we hit it hard. I have a good, firm mattress, and the springs were just waiting for their chance to shine.

He ripped at my jeans, fumbling with impatient hands. I helped him a bit, but I was clawing at his clothing too, so I was of little use. I didn’t want him to be so far away from me, at my feet and tugging at the legs of my pants. He seemed to recognize this need in me because, just as I thought it, he leaned forward and set his mouth on my belly.

Oh, my goodness. Butterflies, times a thousand, fluttered all through me.

I rose from the bed and curled my middle around his head, while my jeans became mere memories. His clothes turned into a pile of fabric on the floor, and we pressed against each other, reveled in every possible inch of skin touching skin. He slithered slowly down my stomach, touching, kissing, squeezing, nuzzling.

A thousand thoughts rushed through my mind. My bikini area! Had I remembered? I did a speed-run through my shaving routine and relaxed, wrapped my legs around his shoulders. The agonizing sweetness chilled my extremities and burned my core.

This may sound crazy, but my first orgasm snuck right up on me. One second I was thinking about what a shame it was that I couldn’t go brag about this at work, and the next minute, I was gasping for breath and holding on for dear life. To my amazement, I was incredibly vocal.

Seth just smiled, and I laughed and floated back down to earth, my body relaxing back onto the mattress. The smell of latex hit me and I laughed even harder. This guy thought of everything! Which was a good thing, since any hopes of rational thinking on my part had long since deserted me. He pulled my bottom to the edge of the bed, and I felt the very tip of his shaft prodding my lower abdomen.

I wanted to take him between my hands, and I did, but he gently brushed my fingers away as his mouth found my collarbone. The second his body slid up and over me, my legs curled around him so that my knees were resting on my shoulders, and I clamped his torso between my feet.

He watched me intensely, as if he didn’t want to miss a single expression on my face or the tremors that vibrated through me. He eased himself into me, and I felt every muscle in my body contracting to hold him there.

Oh my goodness! It had been so long. My eyes rolled back and fluttered shut. The very act of drawing a breath became exquisite, swelling my chest with greedy draughts.

We eased into our liquid rhythm. Our pace slowed, and every second of friction was savored to its fullest. Our tongues were as if coated in honey; he tasted so sweet.

Delicious mewling escaped my center and bubbled out of me, pitiable, needy whines and gasps for breath.

Had it been this good with the ex? In the beginning, maybe. A wave of vulnerability overtook me, and tears began streaming down my temples into my hair.

He cupped his hand around my face and brushed at the dampness. “Sshh…it’s okay.” His tenderness soothed my frazzled thoughts, and I felt another orgasm rising from somewhere far, far away. His pace quickened, and he held me with all his strength while I bucked and convulsed beneath him, crying out, speaking in tongue. It was astounding, it was mind blowing, and it took almost everything out of me. He kissed me then, deep and demanding, and he inhaled every last ounce of energy from my body, even as he infused me with his own.

I don’t have many recollections of the hours that followed, save for snippets of sensation that overtook me during the most mundane of tasks for days after. One of my boys would invariably catch me standing at the sink, wiping the table or sitting on the couch with a soft, goofy smile and glazed eyes. They don’t get it. And I don’t explain it.

And when the phone rings and Mommy suddenly has to take the call in the other room, they keep on keepin’ on, without a second thought about it. Until someone hits someone, or sits too close, or is looking at meeeeeee…

Good boys. I’ll be there when I get there.

Amends

Every marriage has its scuffles and verbal sparring. It’s how one handles them thatmakes a difference.

I creep down the hall, listening to the clicking and tapping of you, hard at work. I’ve been trying to be quiet all morning-staying out of your way so you can get done what needs doing. I was being childish this morning. Three