Shatterday

of his topcoat, a pair of gloves in case the weather turned. And he had to cancel out the delivery services to the apartment in a way that would prevent Jay from reinstating them: groceries, milk, dry cleaning, newspapers. He had to make it as difficult for him in there as possible. And so he called each tradesman and insulted him so grossly they would never serve him again. Unfortunately, the building provided heat and electricity and gas and he had to leave the phone connected.

The phone was his tie-line to victory, to routing Jay out of there.

When he had it all attended to, by three o’clock in the afternoon, he returned to the hotel room, took off his shoes, propped the pillows up on the bed, lay down and dialed a 9 for the outside line, then dialed his own number.

As it rang, he stared out the forty-fifth floor window of the hotel room, at the soulless pylons of the RCA and Grants Buildings, the other dark-glass filing cabinets for people. It was a wonder anyone managed to stay sane, stay whole in such surroundings! Living in cubicles, boxed and trapped and throttled, was it any surprise that people began to fall apart… even as he seemed to be falling apart? The wonder was that it all managed to hold together as well as it did. But the fractures were beginning to appear, culturally and now—as with Peter Novins, he mused—personally. The phone continued to ring. Clouds blocked out all light and the city was swamped by shadows. At three o’clock in the afternoon, the ominous threat of another night settled over Novins’s hotel room.

The receiver was lifted at the other end. But Jay said nothing.

“It’s me,” Novins said. “How’d you enjoy your first day in my skin?”

“How did you enjoy your first day out of it?” he replied.

“Listen, I’ve got your act covered, friend, and your hours are numbered. The checking account is gone, don’t try to find it; you’re going to go out to get food and when you do I’ll be waiting—”

“Terrific,” Jay replied. “But just so you don’t waste your time, I had the locks changed today. Your keys don’t work. And I bought groceries. Remember the fifty bucks I put away in the jewelry box?”

Novins cursed himself silently. He hadn’t thought of that.

“And I’ve been doing some figuring, Novins. Remember that old Jack London novel, The Star Rover? Remember how he used astral projection to get out of his body? I think that’s what happened to me. I sent you out when I wasn’t aware of it. So I’ve decided I’m me, and you’re just a little piece that’s wandered off. And I can get along just peachy-keen without that piece, so why don’t you just go—”

“Hold it,” Novins interrupted, “that’s a sensational theory, but it’s stuffed full of wild blueberry muffins, if you’ll pardon my being so forward as to disagree with a smartass voice that’s probably disembodied and doesn’t have enough ectoplasm to take a healthy shit. Remember the weekend I went over to the lab with Kenny and he took that Kirlian photograph of my aura? Well, my theory is that something happened and the aura produced another me, or something…”

He slid down into silence. Neither theory was worth thinking about. He had no idea, really, what had happened. They hung there in silence for a long moment, then Jay said, “Mother called this morning.”

Novins felt a hand squeeze his chest. “What did she say?”

“She said she knew you lied when you were down in Florida. She said she loved you and she forgave you and all she wants is for you to share your life with her.”

Novins closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about it. His mother was in her eighties, very sick, and just recovering from her second serious heart attack in three years. The end was near and, combining a business trip in Miami with a visit to her, he had gone to Florida the month before. He had never had much in common with his mother, had been on his own since his early teens, and though he supported her in her declining years, he refused to allow her to impose on his existence. He seldom wrote letters, save to send the check, and during the two days he had spent in her apartment in Miami Beach he had thought he would go insane. He had wanted to bolt, and finally had lied to her that he was returning to New York a day earlier than his plans required. He had packed up and left her, checking into a hotel, and had spent the final day involved in business and that night had gone out with a secretary he dated occasionally when. in Florida.

“How did she find out?” Novins asked.

“She called here and the answering service told her you were still in Florida and hadn’t returned. They gave her the number of the hotel and she called there and found out you were registered for that night.”

Novins cursed himself. Why had he called the service to tell them where he was? He could have gotten away with one day of his business contacts not being able to reach him. “Swell,” he said. “And I suppose you didn’t do anything to make her feel better.”

“On the contrary,” Jay said, “I did what you never would have done. I made arrangements for her to come live here with me.”

Novins heard himself moan with pain. “You did what!? Jesus Christ, you’re out of your fucking mind. How the hell am I going to take care of that old woman in New York? I’ve got work to do, places I have to go, I have a life to lead…”

“Not any more you don’t, you guilty, selfish sonofabitch. Maybe you could live with the bad gut feelings about her, but not me. She’ll be arriving in a week.”

“You’re crazy,” Novins screamed. “You’re fucking crazy!”

“Yeah,” Jay said, softly, and added, “and you just lost your mother. Chew on that one, you creep.” And he hung up.

iii. Duesday

They decided between them that the one who deserved to be Peter Novins should take over the life. They had to make that decision; clearly, they could not go on as they had been; even two days had showed them half an existence was not possible. Both were fraying at the edges.

So Jay suggested they work their way through the pivot experiences of Novins’s life, to see if he was really entitled to continue living.

“Everyone’s entitled to go on living,” Novins said, vehemently. “That’s why we live. To say no to death.”

“You don’t believe that for a second, Novins,” Jay said. “You’re a misanthrope. You hate people.”

“That’s not true; I just don’t like some of the things people do.”

“Like what, for instance? Like, for instance, you’re always bitching about kids who wear ecology patches, who throw Dr. Pepper cans in the bushes; like that, for instance?”

“That’s good for starters,” Novins said.

“You hypocritical bastard,” Jay snarled back at him, “you have the audacity to beef about that and you took on the Cumberland account.”

“That’s another kind of thing!”

“My ass. You know damned well Cumberland’s planning to strip mine the guts out of that county, and they’re going to get away with it with that publicity campaign you dreamed up. Oh, you’re one hell of a good PR man, Novins, but you’ve got the ethics of a weasel.”

Novins was fuming, but Jay was right. He had felt lousy about taking on Cumberland from the start, but they were big, they were international, and the billing for the account was handily in six figures. He had tackled the campaign with the same ferocity he brought to all his accounts, and the program was solid. “I have to make a living. Besides, if I didn’t do it, someone else would. I’m only doing a job. They’ve got a terrific restoration program, don’t forget that. They’ll put that land back in shape.”

Jay laughed. “That’s what Eichmann said: ‘We have a terrific restoration program, we’ll put them Jews right back in shape, just a little gas to spiff ‘em up.’ He was just doing a job, too, Novins. Have I mentioned lately that you stink on ice?”

Novins was shouting again. “I suppose you’d have turned it down.”

“That’s exactly what I did, old buddy,” Jay said. “I called them today and told them to take their account and stuff it up their nose. I’ve got a call in to Nader right now, to see what he can do with all that data in the file.”

Novins was speechless. He lay there, under the covers, the Tuesday snow drifting in enormous flakes past