'You are leaving?' She struggled up in the nest of bedding until she was sitting, trying to see him in the faint light.
'After the ball-after Lord Danescroft has retired for the night.'
'Then there is all of today, tonight-'
'Do you think I am made of iron?' he asked harshly. 'Are you? Can you do this again? I thought I could. I thought I could spend a day and a night with you, knowing it was the end. But I find I do not have the courage for a lingering death. Let us make it a clean break. Goodbye, my love. Be happy.' He bent and kissed her-swiftly, hard, with an anger she knew was for himself.
The door closed with a click. She heard his heels clattering briefly on the stone steps, then silence. Rowan turned her face into the pillow and lay, dry-eyed, waiting for morning and the rest of her life.
'Was the ball lovely?' Penny's smile was over-bright, her movements lacking her usual slightly dreamy grace.
'The… Oh, yes. Delightful. Most entertaining, and really surprisingly lavish and sophisticated.' Rowan managed to inject creditable enthusiasm into her tone as she bustled around her friend, helping her out of her travelling clothes.
'Only you look rather strained.' Penny tossed her muff onto the chest of drawers and sat down at the dressing table to whisk a hare's foot over her nose and cheeks.
'It was a late night. And then I was too excited to sleep.'
The pain had to ease, surely? In a day or two it would settle down into a perfectly manageable misery, and in the meantime all she had to do was act. Not that that was easy. She had found the little mug outside her door later that morning and had had to go back inside for ten minutes to regain her composure before coming down. It was sitting on her dresser now, waiting for her.
'How was the visit?'
'My singing was every bit as painful as you might expect, but once that was over the rest was very pleasant. The dowager had her grandchildren to stay and they were delightful.'
'Was the singing so very bad? Did your godmother insist you perform in front of everyone?'
'Of course. But Lord Danescroft said he wanted to sing, too, so we sang a duet and he quite drowned me out. Thank goodness.'
'How rude of him.'
'Oh, no, he meant it nicely, for he could see I was nervous, and he confided that he was sure to be asked so we could get it over with together.'
'I see. So you are thinking more kindly of him now?' Rowan spread out Penny's afternoon dress, even though it seemed tiresome to change, given that she would be retiring for a lie-down at four o'clock in anticipation of the ball.
Penny set down the hare's foot with a snap. 'I am quite decided about Lord Danescroft,' she said, with surprising crispness.
'Well… good.'
Penny got up and tossed aside her wrapper for Rowan to lift the afternoon gown over her head. 'I have made up my mind that you are right,' she announced as her head emerged from the floss-trimmed neck. 'I must speak up and say what I really want, what I feel, and to…
'Excellent,' Rowan said with emphasis. She only hoped that Penny felt better tomorrow than she did. No, it was wrong to think she felt
'So you will?' Penny had obviously been talking for several minutes. She had pinned up her hair without Rowan's help and was putting on her slippers.
'What? Sorry, I was air-dreaming.'
'Come to the ball tonight.' There was a knock at the door. 'Come in!'
Two footmen staggered in, a large trunk between them.
'But that's my-'
'That's the trunk we did not think we would need,' Penny said smoothly, so the men could hear. 'I had it brought up from the inn. Thank you-that will be all.'
'I cannot come to the ball! I'm your dresser.'
'Yes, you can.' Penny threw back the top of the trunk. 'I had the idea yesterday afternoon. When they brought the mail over I pretended I had received a letter from you-the real you-saying you were staying in Tollesbury Magna. Of course everyone made much of the coincidence, and Lady Fortescue said I must write and invite you. Sol sent the groom to Alice and Kate instead, and pretended again that you had accepted with delight.'
'But how on earth am I going to get to the ballroom?'
'There's a side staircase-I think left over from the old house before this wing was added. If you go down it there is a passage, and you can slip out into the stable-yard. The carriage will be there for you at ten. You get in, it drives round to the front door, and down you get.'
'Penelope Maylin-what a pack of lies and deception! I had no idea you had it in you.'
'I know. I must say, being wicked is quite refreshing, don't you think? No one will recognise you-not with your hair dressed and all your jewellery and your best gown. Who would expect to?'
Rowan turned and looked at her reflection in the mirror. No, once her hair was freed from this tight, sleek style, and she was wearing her diamonds and her new cream silk gown, quite unlike anything she had been seen in before, no one would recognise that Lady Rowan Chilcourt was Miss Maylin's humble dresser.
Lucas would, of course, but then he would not see her. The valets did not appear downstairs during such events-not like the ladies' maids, who were on hand to deal with fainting misses, torn hems and wilting coiffures. She must take care to avoid the retiring rooms.
'I will do it.' Last night had been an enchanted dream. It was time to stop being Daisy and become Rowan again. Time to forget she was in love and to think of Papa and of finding a suitable alliance with an eligible man. Time to do her duty.
CHAPTER TEN
'Lady Rowan Chilcourt!'
It was last night all over again-only now the ballroom glittered not just with silverware and glass, candlelight and crystal, but with the unmistakable gleam and glow of gemstones, silks and satins and silver buttons.
Rowan descended the stairs to the receiving line with grace, her fan held just so, her chin up, her smile perfect.
'My dear Lady Rowan, such a pleasure you could join us.'
'Lady Fortescue, I am so grateful for your invitation. My wretched carriage broke a pole, fortunately not far from a most respectable inn-but I am sure Miss Maylin explained all that. And of course I have my woman with me, and my groom and so forth. But to be stranded over Christmas is dreary indeed-now I feel I have been transported back to London!'
'Your friend Miss Maylin is somewhere here. She will soon introduce you to everyone you do not know.'
Rowan passed down the line, greeting the Fortescue family, making small talk, until she was able to emerge at the other end and mingle with the throng. The dancing had not yet started, and people were strolling back and forth. Rowan recognised some young women of her own age she had met during her first Season, before Papa had whisked her off to Vienna, and went to reintroduce herself.
'I owe my invitation to Penelope Maylin,' she explained to Miss Anstruther, when that excited damsel had finished recounting the riveting tale of how she had become betrothed to Lord Martinhoe and thought to enquire how Rowan had popped up in the middle of the snowbound countryside. 'I haven't seen her yet.'
'She's here somewhere. I saw her earlier. The poor girl seems to be trying to avoid Lord Danescroft, but then she has been all week,' Lady Fiona Davidson chipped in. 'Have you heard the scandal?'
