Daredevil’s Run

for her keys.

“Annie?” Matt swiveled to look at her. “My Annie?”

The commotion behind the door escalated into frenzied barking. Alex got the key in the lock and had barely managed to open the door a crack when the dog pushed her way through it. She barreled across the porch, toenails scrabbling on the wood planks, and leaped into Matt’s arms, wriggling like a puppy and trying to lick him everywhere at once.

In the middle of it all, Matt was saying, “Annie? My God, she’s still alive? I thought-Jeez, it’s been five years. Hey, girl, you still know me? You remember me, girl?”

Alex, being pretty much out of tears by this time, said in a husky croak, “Dogs don’t have any sense of time, don’t you know that? She probably thinks you just took a really long lunch break.” She watched the dog, still wriggling in Matt’s embrace, nuzzling and licking every place she could reach, and folded her arms across her chest where there seemed to be a permanent ache, now. Shaking her head, she murmured, “All this time I thought she was getting old, ’bout ready to die. Maybe she was just depressed. Like she was sleeping away the time until you decided to come back for her.”

Matt grinned at her over the Lab’s graying head. “What about you, Alex? You been depressed, waiting for me to come back?”

“Don’t push it, Matthew.” But she went to sit on the step beside him.

Annie gave a sigh and settled herself with her head in Matt’s lap, and they sat there together in silence, the three of them. Annie drifted off to sleep, and Matt and Alex watched the moon come up.

Alex said softly, “You really hurt me, Mattie.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I was there for you, all during rehab. How could you not know I…wanted you?” And how was it that even now it was so hard for her to say the words? Want…love. Yes, both of those. Why can’t I just say it?

Matt reached for her hand. “I did know. I did.” He looked up at the moon. “The truth? I was…angry, back then. At everyone, but especially at you.” He waited, but she didn’t say anything, so he took a breath and went on, and his voice was soft and hoarse with pain. “I was mad at you because you could still walk, still climb mountains, do all the things we’d always done together. I don’t know if you can understand, but…I couldn’t bear to be with you then.”

Alex cleared her throat, struggling to understand. The tears she thought she’d run out of were falling again, silently. She brushed them away, but they were still there in her voice when she whispered, “I lost something, too, Matt. I did.”

“I know…” His arm came around her, and she felt his body quiver.

She turned into him and held on to him, and felt his face press against her hair. After a while she drew a shuddering breath and said, “I don’t think I ever cried for it, either-for you. Not ’til today.”

He laughed, blowing warm puffs into her hair. “You sure made up for it.”

She straightened up, brushing tears and stray hair back from her face with both hands. “I guess we’ve got a lot of things to make up for. And a lot of things to work out-you know that, right?” It’s not like a fairy tale, where it says “Happily Ever After” and that’s it…no more problems.

Matt was looking around him. “Yeah, like a ramp for this place. And I seem to remember some narrow doorways…”

She tried to smile, but a new heaviness was creeping over her. “What about your job? Down in L.A.? Don’t you coach some kids? You can’t just…abandon them.”

He shook his head and murmured, “No.”

The heaviness inside her became misery. For a moment she was angry. This is why I didn’t want to love him. This-the sadness, the pain. The not knowing how to live without him. I didn’t want this! I hate this!

“How about this?” Matt said, gazing up at the moon. “Rafting season’s only half the year, right? The other half we’ll spend in L.A. Or…I’ll commute, if you can’t stand to live in the city. It’s only what-two and a half hours?”

And just like that, the heaviness lifted and happiness filled her again-but it felt so fragile, that happiness. So terribly, terribly fragile.

Chapter 11

Matt said, “Whatever it takes, we’ll work it out.”

She laughed, and it sounded more like a whimper. “Easy for you to say. You always were the brave one.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the bravest person I know.”

But she was afraid. Terrified. He could feel it. Even though he couldn’t see her eyes, he knew the fear was there, the way it had been up on the Forks when they’d been about to go through the fire.

If we’d known then what we were about to go through together…we didn’t know it then, but that fire was the easy part.

He ran his hand down her back and felt her shiver. “What’s wrong, Alex? Tell me.”

“There’s so much, Mattie. So much we haven’t talked about. Things…we haven’t…”

“Ah.” He felt ripples of a new excitement vibrating deep inside his chest. Carefully, he said, “Things…like sex?”

She hitched in a breath. “Yeah, like that. I don’t know…how it is with you. I mean…” and now she sounded testy “…well, obviously, you can still turn me on, but that’s not really…it’s not enough.” She turned her face to him. “Is it?”

Tenderly, he traced the side of her face with his fingertips, then leaned to brush her lips with his. “This…is definitely something we need to talk about-a lot. But…showing you is probably easier. How about, if you’ll get this dog off me and hand me my chair, we take this inside?”

“Matt-”

“Trust me, Alex.”

She nodded, but he could feel the resistance in her still. She maneuvered his chair closer, then braced it for him while he hoisted himself into it, then stood hugging herself and looking scared. He held out his hand to her, and she hesitated, opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. And he remembered.

“That night at The Corral. When I wanted you to dance with me,” he said quietly, “and you didn’t. Why?”

She rubbed her arms, shrugged, but didn’t look away. “I guess…I didn’t think you could.”

“And you were wrong, weren’t you? You didn’t want to do the Forks with me. Why?”

More firmly, now, maybe getting where he was going with this, she replied, “I didn’t think you could.”

“And…you were wrong. So now I’m asking you.” Again he held out his hand, and said softly, “Come…make love with me, Alex.”

He held his breath, and after a brief and suspenseful moment, she reached out and took his hand.

It was so much easier than she’d imagined, and at the same time, so much scarier. Maybe the scariest thing she’d ever done, because it was all so new. So different. And at the same time, in the most thrilling of ways, the same.

Matt used the bathroom first, after explaining to her why he needed to, and what he was doing. Then, when she told him she wanted-needed, after three days on the river, and all they’d been through since-to take a shower, he maneuvered his chair close to the bathtub and bathed her himself. Soaped her body with long, loving, sensual strokes, laughing when the spray made him and everything else in the bathroom as wet as she was. And when she told him she wouldn’t be able to stand up if he kept doing what he was doing, he pulled her naked and soaking wet into his lap and took his time caressing her dry with a towel. Then…slowly, began to stroke her wet again, with his mouth, this time.

When she was shivering uncontrollably, he wheeled them both to her bedside. Holding her waist in his hands, he eased her off his lap and when her knees threatened to buckle, helped her to stand while he looked at her. Feasted on her with his eyes.

Then…“Touch me,” he whispered hoarsely.