“I’d like his address.”
This time Sophia stood and shook her head.
“No. That’s not a good idea. I don’t want him to know who you are.”
“What?” Jessie wiped the tears off her face, glaring at the woman who had stolen her family. “He’s my brother. I have a right to see him.”
“You have to understand. It took years for his nightmares to stop. He’d cry himself to sleep and didn’t know why, but he was so little, I figured he’d forget. And eventually he did.”
“Trust me, he didn’t forget,” Jessie argued. “You can’t forget something like that. When I went into that house, I knew I’d been there before because I remembered. Flashes hit me, and I knew I’d been there. You don’t forget.”
“But don’t you see, you wouldn’t have known that if you hadn’t stepped foot into that house again. All that nasty business can become so . . . fresh, like an open sore that won’t heal. I’m asking you . . . no, I’m begging you. Forget you ever had a brother. I’ve been a good mother to him. I’m all the family he needs. He needs to forget more than he needs a sister like . . . you.”
Her words hung between them like a toxic cloud. By Sophia Tanner’s admission and a 95 percent DNA match, Jessie had a brother. She had finally found her family, but if she showed up on his doorstep, she could ruin his life. That was what it came down to.
Making any attempt to see Ethan Tanner would be a purely self-serving act. Sophia was right. Ethan didn’t need to find out he’d witnessed a murder and dredge up the nightmares she knew were only lying beneath the surface.
And he sure didn’t need a sister as messed up as she was.
Jessie left Sophia Tanner’s house feeling lower and in more emotional turmoil than when she’d walked in. And Chief Cook kept quiet, sensing her frustration. The only concession Mrs. Tanner made was letting Jessie keep the photo of Ethan. She carried it in her hands, held tight to her chest.
“If you want to talk to that boy, you let me know. He’s a grown man, old enough to make up his mind if he wants to see his own sister. Just say the word.”
Jessie hadn’t thought of Ethan’s being old enough, but Mrs. Tanner had made a good point. If Jessie cared what happened to her brother, making the decision to see him would take a lot more thought—and a damned good reason.
“Thanks, Tobias. I really appreciate your offer. And what you did in there, I’m grateful for that, too.” She sighed and stared up at the night sky. “But if I need to track down my brother, I can do that on my own. That’s what I do for a living, remember?”
“You promised to let me know who killed Angela, but I have a pretty good idea.”
“Yeah, thought you would.” Jessie forced a smile and turned toward him when she got to her car. “When Sophia talked about a man coming to see Angela, I figured you’d do the math. My friend Sam Cooper told me that she dug through the case. And in the updated records, they’d found that Millstone had a sister. And her first name was Angela.”
“Well, I’ll be.”
“They found that out sometime after the case went national, but it never made headline news. Danny Ray stole every bit of limelight the media had. His atrocities were more important than any convoluted family tree with no follow-up interviews when she couldn’t be found. Angela had run from her family, but she didn’t get away, apparently.”
“But if you weren’t related to him, how did you and your brother wind up in his car?”
“Sam has a lead on something that happened in Detroit a few days before Angela was murdered, but I don’t have my hopes up. She said that when a vagrant woman was arrested for drug possession, she made a claim that someone took her kids. CPD thought she was blowing smoke to distract from her possession charge, but she described the kids. And what she said matched our descriptions, but nothing ever came of it. She never pressed charges, which says it all.”
“And since I never got a missing-persons hit on Ethan’s DNA through NCIC, I doubt you’ll find anything now,” Cook said. “But you don’t remember anything about where you came from? I can see Ethan not remembering, but you were older.”
“No. The only way I survived Millstone was to zone out. It took me years to remember things. And I get flashes from time to time, nightmares mostly.”
“I hate to say this, but maybe Ethan can recall something you can’t.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I can’t see using him to find my answers. If there’s a chance I could trigger a lifetime of bad memories for him, that would kill me.”
“I’m sorry, Jessie. Wish things had turned out better for you, but I appreciate your help on my case. And at least now you know you
“Yeah, it does.” She nodded and filled her lungs with cool night air. “You’re a good man, Tobias, but I’ve gotta tell ya. I’d never play poker with you.” She forced a smile. “See you around.”
Jessie got in her car, knowing Chief Cook was right. Finding out she now had a brother living in Alaska counted for a lot. She had ties to the Alaska State Troopers, through retired trooper, Joe Tanu. If she wanted to locate her brother, she could call Joe and find Ethan in a New York minute, but would that be the right thing to do?
Nothing in Jessie’s life had
The drive back from Wisconsin would have dragged on forever except that she filled her thoughts with the images of Ethan growing up. She pictured herself at his graduation and imagined whole scenarios in her head where she played the part of his big sister, giving him advice that he’d roll his eyes at.
Filling her mind with those kinds of memories were better than the ones she had—the gaps, the nightmares, and the flashes of new horrors that she knew were coming from Angela DeSalvo’s house. Angela had been the only memory she had of a mother, but after she’d learned the truth, those memories would be tainted. The woman had tried to take care of them, but she never got the chance. And Jessie had to remind herself that Angela hadn’t done the one thing she should have.
She should have called the police.
By the time Jessie got to Chicago and pulled into the underground parking of Seth’s building, she couldn’t wait to see Harper. She found her heart racing, just thinking about him. And when she got out of her rental car, she didn’t even take her bag. She left it in the car and ran to Seth.
When he answered the door, with Floyd grinning at his feet, she flung herself into his arms and breathed him in.
“Ah, Jessie, I missed you, too. I’m glad you’re home.” He nuzzled her neck, and she felt his sweet breath on her skin. In his arms, she felt warm and safe—and loved.
“Home.” She said the word, getting used to it. “Yeah, I’m home.”
When Seth said the word “home,” it sounded damned good coming from his lips. It gave her the courage to say what she’d come to tell him.
“I’m moving back to Chicago. And if the offer is still good, I want to make a home . . . with you. I love you, Seth.”
He grinned and wrapped her in his arms. “Yeah, the offer’s good. Are you kidding? I love you, too, Jess.”
Jessie hadn’t grasped before how much it meant for her to have a family, but on her drive down to Chicago, she realized she already had one.
“You’re all the family I need, Harper.”
Flashes of her brother’s face melded into the many memories she’d already built with Harper, with more to come. And for the first time in a long while, Jessie was truly happy.
Chapter 20
