jealous. Anytime a man looked her way he'd comment that if she didn't dress like a tramp she wouldn't draw so much attention. If she gave any indication that she wanted more sexually, like an orgasm of her own, he'd tell her she was easy.
He'd been a master at mind games, and the possessive relationship had continued until she'd accepted a job as a showgirl at a Reno casino to make some extra money while going to school during the day. Chad's temper had exploded for the first time, and after berating her for flaunting her body in front of other men, he'd demanded she quit her new job.
Done with him controlling her mentally, emotionally and physically, she'd refused his order and broken off their relationship, which only enraged him more. For the next three months he'd stalked her, threatened her and finally attacked her one night after work. Afraid a restraining order wouldn't stop his madness, and having no loved ones to leave behind, she'd packed up her meager belongings and abruptly moved to Oakland to start out fresh, leaving no forwarding address.
Her chest tightened at the awful memories, along with the wave of insecurities that had come in the aftermath of that tumultuous relationship. Diligently pushing those disturbing recollections aside as she'd done hundreds of times before, she focused on her new life in Oakland. She might lead a solitary, monotonous existence, but she was safe here. And that was all that mattered to her. Or so she tried to convince herself during long, lonely nights when she wished she had more to keep her warm than college textbooks and sensual fantasies of a certain blue-eyed, dark-haired Adonis.
But that's all she'd have-private musings and erotic dreams of Noah, because she knew how dangerous it was to let her desires be known, to get involved and allow a man control over her mind and body. Her relationship with Chad had turned into a humiliating experience that had left her second-guessing her longing to be treated like a real woman, to enjoy her body's response to a man's touch.
'Yo, Earth to Natalie,' Murphy said, his deep voice penetrating her thoughts. 'You've got drinks to deliver and the crowd's getting restless.'
Startled that she'd allowed her mind to drift while her order sat waiting, she hustled to load up her tray. 'Sorry 'bout that, Murph,' she said, slanting him a sheepish look. 'Just resting my brain for a few minutes. I had a hellish day at school today.'
He smiled, his brown eyes gentle with understanding. 'I'm thinking you're spending too much time with your head between those college psycho-babble books and not enough time taking care of yourself.'
'I'm fine and it won't happen again,' she promised, and headed toward the lounge with her drinks before Murphy could launch into one of his well-meaning lectures about needing more of a life than work and school.
Her classes and studies were her lifeline and what kept her sane and her mind occupied. And she honestly loved her major, which was in social work. Counseling troubled kids was her goal, and she'd even taken on part- time work at a foster-care agency over the past summer months to gain hands-on experience and further her credentials. She'd been where those foster kids were. She knew how it felt being an outsider looking in, and being a number in the system that didn't always work in a child's favor.
She understood what they needed emotionally and wasn't afraid to share her own personal stories to put them at ease.
Minutes later she was lost again in the demands of the patrons. The atmosphere in the bar was casual, and she chatted with the regulars she'd developed a friendly rapport with over the months. It was especially nice that most of the customers that frequented the establishment were blue collar, and a good percentage of them worked in law enforcement, which made for a safe environment in Natalie's way of thinking. Bobby Malone was a detective, and even Noah was a private investigator who worked at his brother's agency, Sommers Investigative Specialists.
She placed a plate of potato skins on a table between a couple on a date and shivered at the thought of Noah uncovering all her secrets. And what about the erotic fantasies she harbored involving him? He'd either be very shocked or very pleased to discover her private thoughts with him in the starring role. Not that he'd ever find out how she truly felt about him.
After nine months of looking over her shoulder, she was just starting to feel safe and secure with her life. The last thing she needed to do was allow sexual urges to lead her astray, despite how much Noah's flirtatious behavior beckoned her to take a chance on him, to be a bit wild, reckless, and adventurous for a change.
It couldn't happen.
She delivered kamikaze shots to a trio of guys in a corner booth, took more orders for drinks and appetizers, refilled bowls of peanuts, cleaned tables and collected generous tips along the way. Once she had the customers in her section of the lounge taken care of for the moment, she headed into the gaming area and stopped at Noah and Bobby's pool table first.
'Hey, boys, I'm getting ready to clock out in about ten minutes.' She picked up their empty beer bottles and swiped peanut shells onto her tray. 'Can I get either of you a refill before I go?'
Bobby smiled her way and racked up the billiard balls for a new game. 'I'll take another Miller.'
'You got it.' Jotting down his request on her pad of paper, she glanced toward Noah, who was watching her in that wholly masculine way of his that made her pulse race. 'How about you?'
He gave his head a quick shake. 'No refill for me. I've hit my limit for the night.'
Two beers was Noah's max, and she respected that and him for knowing his limit and sticking to it. His older brother, Cole, was the same way, though it had been a while since she'd seen him in Murphy's for an evening out with the guys.
She tipped her head, meeting Noah's striking blue eyes. He was one of the few men who actually looked at her face instead of her chest or body, but she found his stare equally unnerving. And too damn arousing. 'Would you like anything else?'
A disarming grin slid into place. 'Now, Natalie,' he chided in a lazy drawl that did crazy, delightful things to her insides, 'you should know better than to ask me a question like that. You know exactly what I'd
She laughed lightly. 'No, it's not.' The man was an outrageous flirt, and because he'd never made an improper advance toward her, she let herself enjoy his charm while she worked. He made her feel feminine and desired, and while a part of her instinctively curbed those reactions, she couldn't deny that those sensual feelings were still there beneath the surface, struggling to overpower their restraints.
Lord help her if those provocative cravings ever broke free with this man.
Noah chalked his cue stick for the opening break shot, his movements slow, sure, too sexy. 'Then I guess there's nothing else I want tonight.'
Which left every other night ahead wide open, she read in his gaze.
She had to admire his determination. Most men would have given up on her the first time she'd turned down a date. Noah was made of stronger stuff than most.
Noah bent over the pool table to line up his shot and cocked his hip for a better position and leverage. His stance drew her gaze to the muscles along his shoulders and down his back, which flexed with his every movement. The tips of her fingers tingled at the thought of touching all that virile strength, of smoothing her hand down the slope of his spine and testing the heat and texture of his skin.
God, it had been so, so long-
Her throat grew dry and she swallowed hard. A change in subject was definitely in order. 'Where's Cole been lately?' she asked, clearing off a nearby table that had been recently vacated.
A loud, solid
'Solids,' Noah called to Bobby, then said to Natalie, 'Cole's got something better to do with his evenings than hang out here with us confirmed bachelors.'
'Oh, and what's that?' she asked, curious.
He moved around the table, and spying a straight shot into the corner pocket, he lined up his cue. 'Spending it with his fiancee, Melodie.' He scored another point.
She crumpled up damp cocktail napkins and stuffed them into the empty glasses on her tray. 'That's right. Aren't they getting married soon?'
'Next Saturday, actually.' He glanced up before making his next shot, his expression heated and hopeful. 'Care to accompany me to the wedding?'
