Blake grinned and took her hand. “Pleasure’s mine, sweetheart.”
Vince stuck his arm out and placed a palm on his friend’s chest. They exchanged looks, and Blake turned his attention to Deeann. “I love redheads. What’s your name, beautiful?”
Sadie fought not to roll her eyes but Deeann ate it up like a peanut patty. The two had hardly exchanged names before they were off to the back room to play pool.
“You need a drink?”
Standing so close, her heart pounded in her chest and throat. “I was just on my way out.”
His gaze lowered to her lips. In that way he had of watching her talk. “I’ll walk you.”
“No need.”
He placed his hand on the small of her back and she let him. Like it was no big deal. Like he hadn’t shattered her heart. Like his touch didn’t make her want to curl into his chest. Like she didn’t hurt so badly she wondered why she didn’t die from it.
“How are things at the JH?”
Like the touch of his hand and the smell of his skin didn’t muddle her head and confuse her senses. “I might have a sister,” she blurted as they stepped out into the cool May night. She hadn’t meant to confess that to anyone. Especially not Vince. They weren’t friends anymore. He didn’t need to know her business, but she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t mention it to anyone. She didn’t have to ask him not to.
“What?”
“Nothing. Forget it. Never mind.” Once outside, she stepped away and his hand fell to his side. “It might not even be true, and I wouldn’t even know how to find her if it is true.”
They moved beneath the stars cramming the dark Texas sky, but Vince found no calm on this night. Peace did not soothe him. He hadn’t known Sadie would be at the Road Kill. Hadn’t known how he would feel the first time he saw her again. Hadn’t known it would feel like the world was falling apart beneath his feet even as it stood absolutely still. Hadn’t known his lungs would burn with each breath he tried to catch.
“There’s my car.” She pointed to the left, and the crunch of gravel beneath the heels of her boots filled the space between them. The last time she’d worn those boots, he’d been deep inside her, up against his refrigerator. Lost in her and not thinking about the end. Not thinking about anything but how good being with her felt. “You can go back in now,” she added.
He couldn’t go back. Not now. They stopped by her driver’s side door and he reached for her. She stepped back, and once again his hand fell to his side. “I never wanted to hurt you, Sadie,” he said.
She looked down at the toes of her boots. “I knew you’d get bored and move on.”
“I wasn’t bored.” He didn’t make the mistake of reaching for her again and curled his hands into fists. “Never bored.”
She shook her head, and the moon shone in her pale hair and the side of her face. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“Then why did you treat me like I didn’t matter?” She looked up and placed a hand on her chest. “Like I was nothing.”
Because she’d seen him at his worst. Because he hated that he had nightmares like a little girl and now she knew about them. Because he’d felt lower than nothing. “
“I always knew you’d move on. I always knew it would end, but did you really have to break my heart on the same day I buried my daddy?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Couldn’t you have waited? At least one day?”
He hadn’t meant to end things at all. He’d give anything to take back that night. To have stayed awake all night and not allowed himself to fall asleep. To have stayed awake and watched her while she slept. “I’m sorry, Sadie.”
Moonlight bounced off her forehead as she lowered her brows. “Sorry. People who step on my foot say they’re sorry. You stomped on my heart and that’s all you can say? You’re sorry?”
“Yeah.” Mostly he was sorry that he was standing next to her and couldn’t touch her. He couldn’t talk to her about all the stuff he’d done at the Gas and Go and listen to her talk about everything happening in her life.
She moved before he saw her coming at him. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed hard. “Sorry?” She was so angry she actually shoved him back on his heels. “You probably think that makes everything okay.”
“No.” He placed his hand over hers. “Nothing is okay anymore.” He slid his palm to the side of her head and lowered his face to hers. “I want you,” he whispered. “I’ve never wanted anything like I want you.”
“Vince.” His name on her lips brushed his and blew him apart. He came undone. He kissed her. Devouring her with a hot hunger he didn’t even know rested in his soul. It burned him up in a raging inferno of primal need and longing. Bursting and unrestrained. Wild and out of control. His hands moved over her. Touching, pulling her against him as his mouth ate her up. He wanted to pull her in, eat her up, and never let her go again.
“Vince!” She pushed him and took several steps back. “Stop it.” She raised the back of her hand to her mouth. “I won’t let you hurt me anymore.”
His lungs ached as he pulled air deep, trying to catch his breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But you will.” She opened the door to her Saab, but she wasn’t going anywhere. She was his. He could change her mind.
He grabbed the top of the doorframe. “You said you love me.” He wanted her to love him. Wanted it more than he could recall ever wanting anything in his life.
“I’ll get over it.” Beneath the light of the moon, a tear ran down her pale cheek. It punched him in the gut and he dropped his hand to his side. “Stay away from me so I don’t love you anymore. Stay away so I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”
Sadie didn’t cry. Not on the day her daddy had died or the day she’d buried him. Vince watched her drive away, feeling numb and gutted at the same time. Helpless. Like when he’d tried to save Pete.
The primal inferno raging through him turned outward. Real rage. The kind of rage he’d felt during the days after Pete had died. During the days he’d fought to get his hearing back and later after leaving the teams he’d loved. And the rage he’d felt the night he’d taken on a bar of bikers.
Chapter Nineteen
Sadie arranged the pillows on her bed and stood back to study her handiwork. Perhaps a splash of purple was needed. The next time she drove to Amarillo, she’d look for something at a bed and bath store.
She looked around the master bedroom with a mix of sadness and peace. She’d made the room her own, with her white bedroom furniture and big white area rug, and she felt at home. Comfortable. Captain Church Hill still hung above the stone fireplace and her mama and daddy’s wedding photo sat on the mantel, but everything else had been taken out and stored in the attic. Everything but the silver brush and comb set she knew her father had given her mother on their wedding night. She’d found the set in her father’s sock drawer with an old string tie and had decided to leave both on her own dresser.
The veterinarian had stopped by earlier and checked on Maribell. He and Tyrus had done an ultrasound on the fetus and learned that the mare would deliver a little stallion next fall. Somewhere in heaven, her daddy was doing a happy jig. Probably with her mama.
Sadie moved from the room and down the hall filled with portraits, still unsure what she wanted to do with all those old pictures. She walked down the stairs to her daddy’s office and sat behind the old wood and hide desk that would definitely have to go. The old leather and Navajo chair was comfy and might stay though. She opened up her laptop and wrote “finding lost relatives” in the search engine. She had to find something interesting to fill her days. Fill the lonely void. She couldn’t call Vince to rescue her anymore, and finding a long-lost sister—if she had a long- lost sister—seemed like the right thing to do. If Sadie had been kept in the dark her entire life, what did her sister know? And if she really did have a sister, what was she like?
Finding her was like flying blind. She didn’t know how to go about finding a long-lost person. She had a mother’s name, birth date, and hospital. The information of her daddy’s trust he’d set up and a bank account number, but she
