Today, for the first time in years, she had felt almost normal. Today, the thought of getting tangled up with a man, making herself vulnerable again, didn’t frighten her into shutting down.
“Even if I wanted to…to date, or whatever, I don’t think I know how. The last time I went out on a date, I was in high school. Things have changed an awful lot.”
“Yeah.” He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have a curfew anymore.”
“More than that, I’m afraid.” The biggest change was four feet tall and likely to be full of questions and opinions about her mother having a male friend.
“Like what?”
“I’m just not sure how it would work. With Zara. I never envisioned myself exposing her to strange men.”
“I’m not that strange.”
She laughed despite the awkwardness of the situation. “Zara already likes you. She’s a regular chatterbox around you, which is highly unusual. She’s actually a bit shy around adults.”
“Zara?”
“Really. I’ve always been worried that if I went out with someone, she could get attached and that would make it doubly hard on her when the relationship ends. I don’t want to cause her any more difficulties than she’s already facing.”
“I understand. Loretta, really, it’s okay. The timing’s not right.”
Why did he have to be so darn agreeable? If he would just argue with her a little, she might be tempted beyond her convictions. She was still warm and tingly in places that had been asleep for a long time.
They reached Luc’s car just as the meter was about to expire. He put his packages in the back and unlocked her door. She climbed in, feeling horrible and sad and wishing she weren’t so confused.
How often did a guy like Luc Carter come into someone’s life? How many women would give up chocolate for life just to spend one night with him?
She put on her seat belt and lapsed into silence. As Luc gradually made his way out of the Quarter and onto the freeway, fighting rush-hour traffic now, he cast a worried glance at her every so often.
To her horror, her eyes filled up with tears, and the harder she tried to force them back, the worse they got, until they spilled onto her cheeks and she gave herself away with the most awful sob.
“Loretta. What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing.”
“Bull.”
“It’s just that ever since Jim went to prison, I’ve told myself I have to be good. I have to live my life for Zara. She’s my responsibility, my legacy, and I can’t mess it up. That’s why I gave up men, and I’ve been okay with that, but now I’m not.”
“Oh, God, please stop crying. I can’t stand it. I’ll pull over.”
“No, just keep driving, I’ll be fine.”
“Aren’t you being a little hard on yourself? Lots of single mothers don’t check themselves into convents.”
“I know.” She found a tissue in her purse and mopped at her face. She always looked horrid when she cried. Luc probably wouldn’t
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“I know. I’m just making everything worse.”
“Would you stop it, please? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Except I’m acting like a psycho.”
“A little bit,” he admitted, which actually made her laugh.
“Going without sex for nine years can do that to a person.” She clapped her hand over her mouth, horrified. Had she just said that out loud?
“I’m going on two years myself.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true.”
“What about the girlfriend you visit every other Tuesday?” She covered her mouth again, too late to prevent those words from escaping. What was wrong with her? Didn’t she have any discretion?
Luc turned to look at her, shocked. “What?”
“That’s the gossip. You leave town every other Tuesday to go
He didn’t say anything for a long time, and Loretta desperately wished she’d kept her mouth shut. Then a slow smile spread over his face. “Busted.”
“You mean you do have a girlfriend? And you kissed me?”
“It’s not an exclusive arrangement.”
Loretta gave an unladylike snort. She could scratch Luc off her list. Any guy who treated women like that…“Do you really have a girlfriend? Or is this your way of positively discouraging me?”
“Why would I try to discourage you when you’ve already discouraged yourself?” And that was the last they spoke of his mysterious Tuesday out-of-town drives.
Loretta noticed he hadn’t truly answered her question.
CHAPTER FOUR
LUC MANAGED TO TURN the conversation to a less personal topic, and to his great relief Loretta said nothing more about his Tuesday outings. But it was disconcerting to realize the whole town knew about his Tuesday trips, or cared enough to guess he was seeing a girlfriend.
It was strange to think of them speculating about him at all. Though he’d lived in Indigo well over a year, he still wasn’t used to small-town ways.
It was in his best interest to let them believe in the fictitious girlfriend. Better than having them find out the truth. And it was better if Loretta herself believed he was unavailable. Although he’d fought against the notion at first, he could see that Doc was right: feisty, independent Loretta had a vulnerable spot when it came to relationships. If she fell for him and then discovered the truth about him, she’d never forgive herself. And she definitely wouldn’t let him near her or her daughter again.
Given his past, he wondered if that might not be for the best. What did he have to offer a woman like her, anyway? What kind of influence would he be on a child?
It was late afternoon by the time he pulled into the driveway of Loretta’s parents’ house, just a few blocks from the bakery. It was a warm-looking house, two stories with a big front porch. A sign in the yard advertised Indigo Honey.
“As long as I’m here,” Luc said, “I should pick up some honey. I’ve sold quite a bit lately.” Luc featured the Castilles’ honey in a display near the front desk. In return, the Castilles included brochures for La Petite Maison with the orders they mailed out. It was a profitable arrangement for both of them.
“I’m sure my dad will be pleased to hear that.”
Before they’d even gotten out of the car, the front door opened and a diminutive alien burst onto the porch. At least, that’s what it looked like. It was about four feet tall and encased in a white jumpsuit, complete with gloves and a full-headed hood with screen netting over the face: Zara in a bee suit.
“Look at you!” said Loretta as her daughter all but tackled her in an enthusiastic hug.
Zara pulled off her hood. “Grandma cut down a big suit for me, so I could help Granddaddy with the bees. And I wasn’t hardly afraid at all.”
“Good for you,” Loretta said.
Zara smiled up at him. “Hi, L-” She stopped herself just in time as Adele Castille walked out onto the porch. “Hello, Monsieur Carter,” she said with exaggerated formality.
“
“You speak French?” Zara asked. “Are you Cajun?”
