finger. I turned to Tom, who was squatting up and down with a vengeance, his arms swinging wildly.
'Okay, mate, we're off.'
'Not long now, Nick, eh?'
'No, not long. A couple of hours, tops.' ii The gale had become a blizzard, bringing close to white-cut conditions.
I was having to stop every ten or so paces, rubbing the needle again with the silk to reactivate the magnetic effect before getting another navigation fix. In this visibility there was no way I could keep us moving in a straight line. We were vaguely zigzagging west, still hoping to hit a road.
We'd been going for about forty minutes. The wind was still head on and its stinging cold made my eyes stream with tears. I had nothing to protect my face with; all I could do was bury my head into my coat for a few moments' respite. Freezing flakes blasted their way into every gap in my clothes.
I still led the way, breaking the trail, then stopping, though no longer turning, to allow Tom to catch up. When I heard him move up behind me I'd go on a few more steps. This time I did stop, turning my back to the wind, and I could just make him out coming toward me in the storm. I'd been so concerned about navigating that I hadn't noticed how much he was slowing down. I crouched over on my knees to protect the silk and magnetized the wire while I waited.
He finally got level with me as I was trying to stop the wind affecting the compass, which was dangling from my mouth. His hands were buried into his pockets and his head was down. I grabbed hold of his parka and pulled him down next to me, positioning him so he could give the compass some shelter, too.
I wrapped up the compass but this time didn't get to my feet, instead I just stayed where I was and shivered with Tom, both of us bent over in the snow. The snow that had built up on the outside of his hood had frozen, and my hat probably looked the same, matching the front of our coats.
'You okay, mate?'
It was a dumb question, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.
He coughed and shivered. 'Yeah, but my legs are really cold, Nick. I can't feel my feet. We're gonna be okay, aren't we? I mean, you know all about this outdoors stuff, don't you?'
I nodded. 'It's a fucker, Tom, but just dig deep, mate. It's not going to kill us.' I was lying. 'Remember what I said? Dream, that's all you have to do. Dream, and this time tomorrow-you know the rest, don't you?' His iced-up fur moved in what I took to be agreement as I added, 'We'll be on a road soon and the going will get much easier.'
'Will we get a car when we get to the road?'
I didn't answer. A nice warm vehicle would be heaven, but who would be mad enough to be out here on a night like this?
I struck out into the snow and he reluctantly followed. we had a result about twenty minutes later. I couldn't see any pavement, but I could make out the shape of tire ruts under the newly fallen snow, and the fact that the snow suddenly wasn't as deep as it had been everywhere else. It was only a single-lane road, but that didn't matter. It could be enough to save our lives.
I started to jump up and down on the spot to make sure I was right. Tom took a long time to catch up, and when he arrived I could see his condition had worsened.
'Time to sort yourself out, Tom. New phase, just jump up and down and get the body going.' I tried to turn it into a bit of a game and he half-heartedly joined in.
It wasn't that long ago that he'd been crying. Now it was sarcasm.
'Not long to go now, I s'pose?'
'No, not long at all.'
We started to make distance, huddling together at intersections to protect the compass. Whether a road ran northeast, northwest, or even due west, we took it. Anything to get us in the general direction of Tallinn and the train track.
After about three hours Tom had slowed down dramatically. I was having to stop more and more and wait for him to close up on me. The fight through the snow and the extreme cold had definitely got to him and he couldn't stop shivering.
He pleaded with me. 'I've had it, Nick. Everything's spinning around me, mate. Please, we have to stop.'
The wind whipped the snow against our faces.
'Tom, we must keep going. You understand that, don't you? We're fucked if we don't.'
The only reaction from him was a moan. I pulled his hood apart so he could see me.
'Tom, look at me!' I pulled his chin up. 'We must go on. You must help me by keeping going, okay?' I moved his chin again, trying to get eye-to-eye. But it was too dark, and every time the wind got into my eyes they started to water.
It was pointless trying to get any sense out of him. We were wasting time and losing what little heat we had by just standing still. There was nothing I could do to help him here and now. Our best bet was to get to the train track and make the final push to a station. I wasn't too sure how many miles we still had to cover, but the most important thing was to get there. I'd know when he'd finally had enough, and that would be the time to stop and take some action.
I grasped his arm and pulled him along. 'You've got to dig deep, Tom.'
We moved on, me with my head down and Tom past caring. It wasn't a good sign. When the body starts to go into hypothermia, the central thermostat responds by ordering heat to be drawn from the extremities into the core. This is when your hands and feet start to stiffen. As the core temperature drops, the body also draws heat from the head, circulation slows down and you don't get the oxygen or sugar your brain needs. The real danger comes from the fact that you don't realize it's happening; one of the first things hypothermia does is take away your will to help yourself. You stop shivering and you stop worrying. In fact, you are dying, and you couldn't care less. Your pulse will get irregular, drowsiness will give way to semiconsciousness, which will eventually become unconsciousness. Your only hope is to add heat from an external source-a fire, a hot drink, or another body.
Another hour passed. Soon I had to push Tom from behind. He took a few steps forward, stopped, and complained bitterly. I grabbed his arm and dragged him. At least the extra effort warmed me up a bit. The cold was taking its toll on me, too.
We moved on, painfully slowly. When I stopped to check direction, Tom couldn't help me any more; he just stood on the spot, swaying, as I turned my back to the wind, trying to create shelter for the compass.
'You okay, mate?' I shouted behind me. 'Not far now.'
There was no reply, and when I'd finished and turned for him he'd collapsed in the snow. I got him to his feet and dragged him on. He had almost no strength left now, but we had to crack on. Surely there couldn't be that far to go?
He mumbled to himself as I pulled him along. Suddenly he stopped resisting and ran forward with a burst of manic energy.
'Tom, slow down.'
He did, but only to stagger a few yards off to the side of the road and lie down. I couldn't run to him; my legs couldn't carry me that fast any more.
When I got to him I saw that the sneaker on his right foot was missing.
His feet were so numb that he hadn't noticed.
Shit, it had been there minutes ago. As I'd dragged him along and protected my face from the wind, his sneakers had been the only things I'd seen.
I turned back down the road and retraced his quickly disappearing sign.
I found the shoe and trudged back to him, but getting it back onto his foot was not far short of impossible, my numb fingers trying to tie the laces which were frozen with ice. I touched my little finger to my thumb to make the old Indian sign that means 'I'm all right.' If you can't do that, you're in trouble.
'You've got to get up, Tom. Come on, it's not that far.' He didn't have a clue what I was saying.
I helped him to his feet and dragged him on. Now and again he would shout out and summon up another burst of energy fuck knows from where.
It didn't last for long before he slowed down or fell back into the snow with exhaustion and despair. His voice had become a whine as he begged to be left where he was, pleading with me to let him sleep. He was in the latter
