Now she laughed out loud. “You should see it from my perspective.”
“You’re standing there looking at a naked man and laughing. How in the hell am I supposed to put that in perspective?”
She laughed again, and he just stared at her, realizing she did not do that nearly enough. It transformed her face, made her seem even younger, and frankly, stole his breath. “I thought you’d left,” he admitted.
“I know.” Her smile slowly faded. “I almost did. But the truth is, I couldn’t do it to you.”
Relief filled him, but it was short-lived.
“I couldn’t just leave without telling you.”
“Maddie.” He struggled to remain cool and calm when he really wanted to do that whole dragging-her-off-to- his-cave thing. “You know it’s just a trap.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “But I’m still going.”
“Shit.”
“I have to, Brody.”
“Fine. What’s the plan?”
“I’m going to wing it.”
“Terrific.” He hated winging it. “I’m going with you.”
“Why? We’re not a unit, not-”
“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say we’re not a unit in the real fucking world. Because we are. Especially when it comes to being stupid.” He strove for lighter. “Seriously, if you go solo now, you’ll just hurt my feelings.”
“You told Noah that a woman can’t hurt your feelings.”
A slow churning panic began low in his gut, along with the knot that had been there since she’d been shot, goddamnit. Because standing there stripped down to just the man and nothing else, the truth hit him in the chest with the force of a Mack Truck.
Noah had been wrong. He wasn’t going to get his heart stomped on.
It’d already happened.
Somehow, he’d come to care about her more than his carefully constructed world, more than his planes, more than his next breath. “I didn’t mean what I said to Noah about the whole not being able to get hurt thing.”
“No? Well, I always mean what I say, and I told you from the very beginning this wasn’t real.”
“Okay, I have no idea how we got so off track here, but you have to promise me that you won’t do anything foolish without me.”
She sipped her tea and said nothing.
“Maddie.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Why? What kind of question is that?”
“A valid one. Why does all of this matter to you so damn much?”
He stared at her, let out a low laugh, and shoved his fingers in his hair. “Because.”
“Because? Your answer is because?”
“Because…” Ah hell. He had nothing left to lose. “Because I love you, damn it.”
Her eyes went wide as saucers, and she took a step back, nearly falling on her ass in her haste to put distance between herself and the crazy naked guy. She smacked up against the wall and held on to it like a lifeline. “What?”
“Yeah, and I can see that just makes your day.”
“Are you kidding? I just told you that this wasn’t real, and your response is I…I…I-”
“You can’t even say the word?” he asked incredulously, clutching his clothes to his suddenly aching gut.
“What is more unbelievable is that you can.” She set down her tea, picked up his pants and threw them at him. “Don’t look at me like I’m an alien, all right? It’s nothing personal. I just don’t put much into that word, that’s all.” She found his shirt and threw that at him, too, which he caught after it hit him in the face.
“What does that even mean, you don’t put much into the word. It’s a pretty damn big word.”
She tossed him his shoes. “Forget it.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t forget it.”
“Okay, fine.” She straightened her spine. “It means I don’t love you back.” Then she softened, her eyes misting. “I’m sorry.”
But not sorry enough, apparently, because she didn’t take any of it back. “Wow,” he said, staggered. Destroyed by words. He’d never have believed it possible.
“Not personal,” she repeated more softly, turning to the door. “I’m assuming you no longer want to come with me.”
“Oh, I’m going.”
Slowly, she craned her neck his way. “Huh?”
He smiled grimly at her shock. Had no one ever stuck with her through thick and thin? Through pissiness and foolishness? “Hell, yeah. I’m going.”
She closed her eyes and then opened them and nodded her head.
He nodded his back and then watched her walk out of the room. Standing there holding his clothes, he shook his head. He had no idea what he’d expected to happen here, but it hadn’t been to blurt out his feelings, and it sure as hell hadn’t been that she’d throw those words back at him the same as she’d done with his clothes. He hated that she’d so easily dismissed the words and the emotion behind them simply out of fear because for him, they were as real as the air in his lungs.
Unfortunately, he was breathing that air all on his own.
Chapter 27
Leena was tired of pacing her bedroom. Tired of Ben watching her pace. And she was especially tired of being afraid. She let out a frustrated, shaky breath and took another lap around the room. “Tired of it,” she muttered.
“Tired of what?”
“Following the advice of a crazy guy. For letting him ruin my life. For getting us in this situation. Pick one.”
“I’ll take all three for a hundred, Bob.”
Yeah, she’d really screwed up. “Mostly, I’m tired of letting my life live me.”
“There are always choices,” Ben said, still watching her pace.
“Yes.” She wanted to tear out her own hair for being so damn slow to understand that very fact. “And it’s my own fault that I never made my own, but that’s going to change.” She pivoted, nearly plowing into him because he’d stepped into her path.
“How’s it going to change?”
She stared up into his face, his beautiful, strong face. “I’m working on that.”
“I guess it won’t be easy. Leaving this lifestyle.”
“Look, you don’t need to beat me up, okay? I’m doing it enough for the two of us.”
His eyes never left hers. “Are you?”
“Yeah.” She tried to move around him, but again he blocked her path, this time putting his hands on her arms to hold her in place.
“I’m not staying for the cushy lifestyle,” she said. “I know you probably don’t believe me. You have no reason to, and I deserve that. I deserve a lot of things, but like you said, it’s about choices. My choices, so get out of my way and let me think about the ones I need to make.”
She expected him to scoff or show more anger.
But he surprised her. Gentling his hold, he leaned in and kissed her. In that single moment, he awoke every single nerve ending she owned, but the all too brief glide of his lips to hers ended far too soon, and with a slow blink, she stared up at him, stunned to the core. “What was that?”
“A reminder that it’s all wide open for the taking.”
“What is?”
