“That’s all the more reason for you not to do it,” Consuelo said firmly. “If you can get that sick at parties among healthy, well-kept people, imagine how sick you will get working with people who live in terrible unsanitary conditions and are riddled with diseases. Besides, if you get pregnant, which I hope you will or are, that would be a terrible idea and would put you and the baby at risk. Has Josiah thought of that?” Something crossed her daughter’s eyes that Consuelo didn’t understand, but it vanished in a flash.
“I’m in no hurry to start a family, Mama. Josiah and I want to have some fun first.” It was the first time Consuelo had heard her say that, and she was surprised. She wondered if she was using one of the new, or even ancient, methods to keep from having a child. But she didn’t dare to ask.
“When did you decide that?” Her daughter’s comment had answered Consuelo’s question about whether Annabelle had gotten pregnant on the trip. Apparently not.
“I just feel too young. And we’re having so much fun without a baby to worry about. We want to take some more trips. Maybe to California next year. Josiah says that San Francisco is beautiful, and he wants to show me the Grand Canyon. I can’t do that if I’m expecting.”
“The Grand Canyon can wait,” her mother said, looking disappointed. “I’m sorry to hear it. I’m looking forward to grandchildren,” she said sadly. She had nothing in her life now, except visits with Annabelle, rather than living with her, which she loved. Grandchildren would have filled a void for her.
“You’ll have them,” Annabelle reassured her. “Just not yet. Don’t be in such a hurry. As Josiah says, we have lots of time.” He had said it more than once on the trip, and she had no choice but to agree. He was her husband after all, and she had to follow his lead.
“Well, I still don’t want you working on Ellis Island. I thought you liked the volunteer work you were doing.” The Hospital for the Ruptured and Crippled was bad enough, in Consuelo’s opinion. Ellis Island was unthinkable.
“I think Ellis Island would be more interesting, and give me more of a chance to improve my skills,” Annabelle repeated, and her mother looked startled by what she said.
“What skills? What do you have up your sleeve?” Annabelle was always full of new ideas, particularly about medicine and science. They were clearly her passion, even if she didn’t get to exercise them in any official way.
“Nothing, Mama,” Annabelle said seriously, looking a little sad. “I just wish I could help people more, and I think I’m capable of doing more than what they let me do at the hospitals here.” Her mother didn’t know that she wished she could be a doctor. It was one of those dreams that Annabelle knew would never come to fruition, so why talk about it and upset her? But at least she could come as close as possible, as a volunteer. Ellis Island, and their acute need there, understaffed and overpopulated, would give her a chance to do that. It was Henry Orson who had suggested it to her. He knew a doctor there and had promised to introduce her. And because it was Henry, Josiah had approved the plan.
Annabelle went to visit Hortie after lunch with her mother. She was still in bed some of the time, but getting up more and more often. Annabelle was shocked by how thin she looked, and how tired. The baby was big and beautiful, but Hortie looked like she’d been through the wars, and said she had.
“It was awful,” she said honestly, with eyes that still told the tale. “No one ever said it would be like that. I thought I was dying, and my mother said I nearly did. And James says he wants another one soon. I think he’s trying to start a dynasty, or a baseball team or something. I still can’t sit down, and I was lucky I didn’t get an infection. That probably would have killed me like Aimee Jackson last year.” Hortie looked seriously impressed and badly shaken by what she’d been through. And Annabelle couldn’t help wondering if the baby was worth it. He was adorable, but it wouldn’t have been adorable if his arrival had killed Hortie, and it sounded like it nearly had. It seemed terrifying when Hortie told her what it had been like. “I think I screamed for all twenty-six hours. I’m not even sure I want to do that again. And imagine if it were twins, I think I’d kill myself rather than go through it. Imagine having two in one night!” She looked horrified, whereas six months before she had thought having twins would be funny. Having babies had turned out to be far more serious business than she’d previously thought. And the story she told was scaring her old friend. Enough so that Annabelle was grateful that she wasn’t pregnant. “What about you?” Hortie asked, looking mischievous suddenly and more like her old self. “How was the honeymoon? Isn’t sex fabulous? It’s a shame it has to end up in childbirth, although I guess it can be avoided, if you’re lucky. Do you think you’re pregnant yet?”
“No,” Annabelle said quickly. “I’m not. And we’re in no rush. And what you’re telling me makes me never want to do it.”
“My mother says I shouldn’t talk about it to women who haven’t had babies.” Hortie looked guilty then. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“That’s all right,” Annabelle said sunnily. She had offered no comment about their sex life and didn’t intend to. “You just make me glad I’m not pregnant.” Hortie lay back in bed then with a tired sigh, as the wet nurse brought the baby in to show them how fat and handsome he was. He was a lovely baby, and sleeping soundly in the nurse’s arms.
“I suppose he was worth it,” his mother said, sounding uncertain, as the nurse left again. Hortie didn’t like to hold him often. Motherhood still scared her, and she hadn’t forgiven the baby yet for the agony he’d caused her. She knew she’d remember that for a long, long time. “My mother says I’ll forget eventually. I’m not so sure. It was really awful,” she said again. “Poor James has no idea, and I’m not allowed to tell him. Men aren’t supposed to know.” It seemed a strange principle to Annabelle, since they would have told him if she died. But failing that, it was supposed to remain a mystery, and one was supposed to pretend that everything had been easy and fine.
“I don’t see why he can’t know. I would tell Josiah. There’s nothing I can’t say to him. And I think he’d worry about me, if I didn’t.”
“Some men are like that. James isn’t. He’s a baby. And Josiah is a lot older, he’s more like your father. So did you have fun?”
“We had a wonderful time.” Annabelle smiled. “I learned to flyfish, and we rode every day.” She had loved galloping over the foothills with Josiah amid seas of wildflowers.
“What else did you learn?” Hortie asked with an evil look, and Annabelle ignored her. “I learned some pretty interesting stuff from James on our honeymoon in Paris.” Everyone in town knew that before his marriage at least, James had gone to prostitutes constantly. There were whispers about it. And he had probably learned things from them that Annabelle didn’t want to know, although Hortie didn’t seem to mind. Annabelle much preferred being married to Josiah, even if they didn’t start a family for a while. And they needed to find a house first anyway, since his apartment was too small.
Hortie got nowhere with her questions and racy innuendoes, and eventually she got tired and had to nap, so Annabelle left her and went home. It had been good to see her, and the baby was beautiful, but the story of his birth had shaken Annabelle. She wanted a baby, but had no desire to go through all that. And she wondered how long it would be before she had a baby of her own. She would have liked to hold Charles for a moment, but Hortie had never offered, and seemed to have no desire to hold the baby herself. But given what had happened to her, Annabelle told herself that it was understandable, and she wondered if it took time to develop maternal instincts, just as it took time to get used to the idea of being a husband or wife. Neither she nor Josiah had fully gotten used to all of that yet.
Chapter 9
By the time the social season in New York got fully under way in November, Hortie was back on her feet, and Josiah and Annabelle were invited everywhere. They frequently ran into Hortie and James at parties, and Hortie was in good spirits again. The baby was nearly three months old, and Annabelle and Josiah had been married for as long.
Overnight, Annabelle and Josiah had become the most desirable, popular couple in New York. They looked fabulous together, and still had the same easy, lighthearted relationship. They teased each other constantly and were playful, and had long serious discussions on political and intellectual issues, often with Henry when he came to dinner. They talked about books, the ideas they shared, and conversations with Henry were always lively. Sometimes the three of them played cards and laughed a lot.
Josiah and Annabelle dined with her mother at least twice a week and sometimes more often. Annabelle tried
