It was no trouble finding them, Bobbie and Myra. Just a matter of driving a while, and then getting out and walking a while, creeping along a winding trail. All I had to do was think of where I'd go if I was in his place. And the place I'd've gone to was the place he'd taken her.
They were stretched out on a patch of sand in a little clearing, and they were locked together. I couldn't really see her, just him. And that made it pretty hard, because him-he-was all I really cared about.
I didn't know how he'd got to her. Or why. I was afraid to even think about it, for fear I might try to excuse him. And it couldn't be that way. I was pretty sure he wouldn't want it that way. But it was damned hard, just the same.
Me and him-we were so much alike. We thought so much alike. That was how he'd been able to confess to a killing I'd done-yeah, I killed Luane-and have his facts almost completely straight.
I had planned on sticking Luane up for the money. I had worn a handkerchief over my face, and I hadn't answered when she called downstairs, so that she couldn't recognize my voice.
Then, right at the last minute, I changed my mind; I couldn't go through with the stunt. I'd never pulled anything sneaky in my life, and I couldn't do it now. And, by God, there was no reason why I should.
She owed me money. Ten thousand dollars with almost twenty-five years' interest. I jerked the handkerchief down off my face and put the gun in my pocket, and told her I was there to collect.
'And don't tell me you ain't got it,' I said, when she started jabbering and squawking ninety to the minute. 'Ralph's made it, and he ain't spent it-and he ain't got it either. You're keeping it to keep him. If Ralph had it, he'd've jumped town with that singer long ago.'
I went on up the stairs, walking slowly and keeping a sharp eye on her. She begged, and then she began yelling threats. I'd never get away with it, she yelled. She'd have me arrested. I wouldn't get to keep the money, and I'd go to prison besides.
'Maybe,' I said, 'but I figure not. Everyone thinks I got plenty of money, and even my worst enemy wouldn't never accuse me of stealing. So I figure I'll get away with it. It'll be as easy as it was for you and your Pa to cheat me.'
Well, I thought for a minute that she was going to give up. Because she stopped yelling and stood back against the wall, as if to let me pass. Then, just as I took the last step, she screamed and lunged at me.
I flung my arm out, trying to ward her off. It caught her a sweeping blow, and being off balance like she was, she went down the stairs head-first.
I went down and took a quick look at her. I got out of there. I didn't need money no more… I kind of sighed. I took the gun out of my pocket, staring across to the patch of sand where Bobbie and Myra were. I hesitated, wondering if I ought to toss a rock at them. Give 'em a chance, you know, like you do when you're out hunting and you see a setting rabbit.
But they weren't rabbits. He wasn't, anyway. And if I didn't get them now, I'd just have to do the job later. And there wasn't going to be any later for me. I wouldn't be roaming around after tonight. So I raised the gun and took aim.
I waited a second. Two or three seconds. He turned his head suddenly, and kissed her. And, then, right at that moment, I started shooting.
I figure they died happy.
I blew the smoke out of my gun, went back to my car and headed for town. I drove to the courthouse and turned myself in for the three killings.
Kossy was my lawyer at the trial. But there wasn't nothing a lawyer could do for me. There wasn't nothing I'd've let him do. So now it's all over-or it damned soon will be-and now that it is, I kind of wonder.
I wonder if I really did kill Luane Devore.
She was a pretty tough old bag. Could be that the fall downstairs just knocked her out, and someone else came along and finished the job. Could be that someone was hiding in the house right at the time I was there.
It would be just about a perfect murder, you know. They, this party, could do the killing and I'd take the blame for it. Anyone who knew me knew that I would.
Who do I think did it-that is, if I didn't?
Well, I don't figure it was anyone you might ordinarily suspect, the people who seemed to have the best motives. The very fact that they had good reasons for wanting Luane dead-and that everyone knew it-would be the thing that would keep them from killing her. They'd be too afraid, you know, that the job might be pinned on them.
Aside from that, and maybe excepting Danny Lee, all the prime suspects were too fond of living to commit murder. They'd proved it over and over, through the years; proved it by the way they lived. They'd give up their principles, their good name-everything they had; just as long as they could go on living. Living any damned old way. And people like that, they ain't going to take the risk of killing.
Me, now, I'm not that way-just in case you haven't discovered it. I have to live a certain way or I'd rather be dead, which I'm just about to be. Putting it in a nutshell, I never had but one thing to live for. And if I thought I was going to lose that, like I did lose it, why…
I guess you see what I'm driving at. Whoever killed Luane was a one-reason-for-living person. Whoever killed Luane was someone who didn't seem to have a motive- who could do it with a good chance of never being suspected. And there's only one person I can think of who fits that description.
She was smart and efficient, but she'd stuck to the same cheap dull job for years. She was pretty as a picture and a damned nice girl to boot, but she'd never gotten married.
She stuck to her job and she'd never gotten married for the same reason-because she was in love with her boss. She never showed it in any of the usual ways. She never made any passes at him-she wasn't that kind. And she never stepped out with him. There wasn't a thing she did that could cause gossip about her. But, hell, it was plain as day how she felt. It was clear to me, anyway. I'd seen the way she kowtowed to him, and made over him, and it kind of made me squirm. I'd think: Now, why the hell does she do it-a gal that could have her pick of jobs and men? And of course there couldn't be but one reason why she did it.
She must have known that he was nothing but a fat-mouthed dunce. She must have known he wasn't ever going to marry her-that he was too self-centered to marry anyone, and that his sister probably wouldn't let him if he wanted to. But that didn't change anything. Maybe, women being like they are, it might have made her love him all the more. Anyway, she was crazy about him-she had to be, you know-crazy enough to kill anyone who hurt him. And someone was hurting him. It was getting to the point where he might lose his job-the only one he could hold-and if he did they'd be separated, and-
Yeah, that's right. I'm talking about Nellie Otis, the county attorney's secretary.
I figure that Nellie killed Luane-if I didn't do it. I guess I ain't ever likely to know for sure, and I don't know as I give a damn.
I was just wondering, you know, thinking. And now that I've thought it through, to hell with it.
