“What are you doing with that cat? That’s just for show. You’re not going to really use that on me are you?”
“Jacque, I’m going to do whatever the hell I want to you. I own you remember? Body and soul.”
From the look on his face, Jacque got the first notion that he was in trouble. Blood rained down his chest, back, and legs. Occasionally Samson let the whip stray low and its ruinous tip bit into Jacque’s perforated nutsack, causing the photographer to convulse in such pain he almost puked.
“When you want me to stop all you have to do is say ‘Kill me.’ Then your suffering ends.”
“I signed your fucking contract! I just wanted to fuck. What do you want from me?”
“Oh, you know what I want.”
“You’re going to kill me aren’t you?”
“How else am I supposed to get your soul? Wait for you to finally OD? No, by then it will be too late. I need it now.”
“But why? I never did shit to you! I haven’t done anything to you! Why are you doing this to me?”
Samson stood naked in a widening puddle of Jacque’s blood. He dropped the bullwhip and Jacque breathed an exhausted sigh of relief until he caught the glint of steel in Samson’s hand. His breath seized in his chest.
“No. No. Oh, God. No. Why? Why?”
“Because I don’t like you, Jacque. You are a pompous, egotistical, manipulative parasite. And I love my brother. You are going to die so that he can live. But first I am going to enjoy myself. You wanted to fuck? Let’s fuck. But I’m kind of big and you look kind of tight back there. I think I’m going to have to widen you up a bit before I can fit.”
The knife bored its way inside Jacque and slowly rotated. He screamed and kicked and fought against his restraints. He had briefly passed out by the time Samson replaced the knife with his own turgid flesh. Samson’s hard thrusting deep inside of him awakened him. Like a caressing finger, he ran the knife along Jacque’s belly. Almost as an afterthought, Samson sliced from the photographer’s abdomen to his throat.
“You still won’t get my soul.” Blood bubbled up from the photographer’s mouth as he spoke, spraying from his lips and dripping off his chin onto his blood-drenched chest.
“Oh, no? And why is that? You signed a contract. In blood. Your soul is mine!”
“But I never owned it. It wasn’t mine to sell.”
Samson paused. Intestines flopped out of the massive gash in the photographer’s torso as blood poured out in sheets. It was amazing that the man could still talk. In fact, it was impossible.
“What do you mean you never owned it?”
“I sold my soul to the devil back when I was a teenager. See, according to my parents, I was already condemned to hell for being gay so I figured, what the hell did I have to lose? So I sold my soul for fame and fortune, and the opportunity to fuck the sexiest men in the world.”
Jacque’s voice grew weaker, little more than a whisper. Samson felt the photographer’s heartbeat against the knife, slowly fading. The photographer laughed and more blood sprayed from his lips. Samson withdrew himself from the man and walked around to face him.
“Bullshit!”
All of the blood had drained from the photographer’s face. He already looked like a corpse.
“Oh, it’s true. It’s all true. You’ll see. You wanted my soul so bad, well you’ve got it, but I think you’re going to have to fight to keep it.”
“Fuck you!”
He grabbed Jacque by his chin and jerked his head back as he began sawing through the man’s esophagus, trying to remove his head. Gurgling sounds continued to come from the photographer’s throat as Samson slashed through it with the blade. It sounded as if Jacque were still laughing at him.
19
Evil had to have a face.
Samuel left it to smarter people than he to argue the finer philosophical points about the nature and origins of evil. He was more practical. He knew it when he saw it. True evil had to be incarnated—the brutality humanity was capable of inflicting on itself—or worse, experienced. In all of his years in the priesthood, he had learned much about the darkness, the shadow that trailed people. He saw it as a process, a corruption, much like the virus that slowly ate away at some of the very things that made him human. A stalking entropy from within that created moral blind spots, that allowed people to treat each other badly. He feared for any who got caught up in the rush, the confidence that came from it.
Evil had to have a face; only now, Samuel feared that face belonged to Samson.
Ever since the incident where he and his brother hit the dog, Samuel hated driving at night. He loathed the swirling bundle of neuroses that accompanied him every time he got behind the wheel, though it grew worse at night, the rataplan of his heart as he turned onto poorly lit roads. He hated negotiating the darkness through the vision of his headlights, but he had to get to Samson’s.
Samuel knew that he and Samson were inextricably linked, sharing a special connection, an inner language that only they understood. They had a bond forged from years of relying on each other, and Samuel had too long ignored the feeling that his brother was in trouble. Needed him. Samson was so disillusioned, as if God had pulled on a thread of the tapestry of his world and forced Samson to watch it all unravel around him. And it would be so like Samson to embrace the darkness, the nightmares, the hurt, rather than flee to the light.
If he had faith that there was light left to flee to, Samuel supposed.
Even Samuel didn’t know what to think of a God who was in meticulous control of everything yet allowed atrocities to happen, of one who stood back like some master chess player, moving people around, arbitrarily allowing horror into their lives. Maybe he didn’t know God at all or didn’t understand how He worked. It was difficult to reconcile all of the depictions of God that he’d been taught. Samuel had questions, but he didn’t know if the answers would terrify him more than not knowing.
Yet he couldn’t just give up on Samson, couldn’t abandon him. Something stirred Samuel, tugging at his heart like a nagging spirit. Part of him knew why he had sat back and done nothing for far too long. Should Samson’s scheme work, Samuel’s hands would be guilt free. He hadn’t done anything wrong and certainly couldn’t be held responsible. He prayed that he wasn’t too late to undo his mistake.
Samson was still a creature of habit, keeping a spare key hidden in the light fixture. He might as well have a lit neon sign that read “I left it unlocked. I dare your dumb ass to enter.”
Samuel wandered around the place, as it had been years since he’d been invited. The drift in their closeness began when he had entered the priesthood. The decision alone had started a rift, but his vows made it official. The way Samson saw the situation, it was the first time God interfered in their lives.
A noxious scent wafted in from the kitchen. Precariously stacked dishes lined the counter, tumbled piles slid into the sink. Remnants of hastily prepared meals teemed with small black ants. The plates that bobbed above the surface of the water, thick with bloated bits of food, sported various shades of mold. Samuel quickly retreated from there and shut the door behind him.
The living room wasn’t what Samuel expected to see from his brother’s place, every bit the enigma Samson had become. Clean lines. Everything meticulously in its place. The pile of coasters neatly stacked on the corner of the coffee table. Rows of alphabetized CDs alongside a shelf of books arranged in descending size. The incomplete set of samurai swords. The sole item warming the sterile feel of the room was the framed photo on the mantle. Samuel picked it up, noting that not a speck of dust rested on neither the mantle nor picture. His mind drifted to the story of Moses.
People knew the burning bush Moses. The “let my people go” Moses. The parting the Red Sea Moses. The Ten Commandments Moses. They forgot the “I’ve sinned and can’t go on” Moses. For forty years, he had wandered the desert alongside the Israelites, listening to their grumbling and complaining. Though the Lord had provided for them at every turn, sending manna and quail from heaven for food, leading them, providing signs for them, still they murmured. Until one day, Moses snapped. Slamming his staff into rocks, he summoned water. However, the act dishonored God, demonstrated a lack of faith, and for that, he was not allowed to lead them into the Promised Land. At the end, though, Moses charged his people with a message of hope. Though disappointed, he had come to
