bad in small doses. So you'll stop in again sometime.”
“Like your buddy Polston,” she murmured. “A drop-in friend.”
“It was just a suggestion.” His tone was stilted now, and he obviously regretted that he had said anything at all.
“You know, maybe I am tired, after all,” she said, lying down with her back to him. “We'd better get some sleep.”
“Yeah, I guess you're right. We can talk tomorrow.”
It was going to take a lot more than talk to get through this man's thick skull, Lucy thought as she pulled the covers to her ears and frowned fiercely into the darkness. Somehow she had to figure out a way to overcome the results of a lifetime of rejections and convince Banner that he deserved much more than he was prepared to settle for.
Chapter Fifteen
Lucy was gone when Banner woke the next morning.
It surprised him that she had slipped out of his bed without him hearing her, since he was usually a light sleeper. The bathroom door was open, so he knew she wasn't in there. Maybe in the kitchen?
She wasn't in the kitchen. Nor the living room, nor any other room. Her bags were gone and so was her car.
As incredible as it seemed, at some point during the couple of hours while he had slept, Lucy had gathered her things and left his house.
He found her note taped to the mirror in his bathroom. “Give me a call when you figure out what you really want,” it read. “And when you're ready to take the risk of asking for it.”
His first reaction was confusion. What the hell did she mean? He'd told her last night what he wanted. He hadn't actually asked her to drop in occasionally, but he'd made it clear that he wouldn't mind if she did.
The second emotion to hit him was anger. Why the hell had she taken off this way without any sort of warning? If she had something to say to him, she should have said it face-to-face, not in some cryptic note.
Most likely this was her way of ending their brief vacation fling without any unpleasantness. Making it sound as though it was his choice rather than hers, she had disappeared without messy scenes or awkward goodbyes. He supposed he should be grateful to her for keeping it so easy for him.
But
Half an hour later he was back in the kitchen, showered, shaved and dressed. The coffee was already made, and bacon sizzled in a skillet as he cracked eggs into a bowl. This day would be no different from any other, he promised himself. Nothing in his life had changed permanently when Lucy Guerin wandered into his home. It had been nice while it lasted, but he had never expected it to last long.
Following the scent of food, Tim wandered in yawning and finger combing his tousled hair. “Smells good.”
“You like your eggs scrambled, don't you?”
“Yeah. How'd you know?”
Banner shrugged. “I've learned a few things about you in twenty-two years.”
Tim poured coffee into the mug Banner had set out for him. “Lucy still sleeping off the sparkling grape juice?”
Banner had braced himself for this, of course. “Lucy left this morning.”
Obviously startled, Tim glanced at his watch. “So early?”
“Yeah. She had things to do, I guess.”
“Since when? Last night she was talking about watching the Rose Bowl with us today.”
Belatedly remembering that conversation, Banner shrugged and set a filled plate on the table. “Dig in.”
Though Tim took his seat, his attention was obviously not on the food now. “Did you guys have a fight?”
Banner ladled eggs onto his own plate, though he wasn't at all hungry. “No. We didn't have a fight.”
Tim laid down his fork, his expression suddenly stricken. “Did she leave because of me? Damn, Rick, I didn't mean to…”
“It wasn't because of you, Tim. Lucy likes you. She told me so. I'm the one she has the problems with.”
“So you did quarrel.”
Banner sighed gustily. “We did not quarrel. It was just…well, I think she took offense at something I said. Maybe. Though to be honest, I'm not sure what it was that irritated her.”
“Surely you have a clue.”
“Not really.” Sitting on the other side of the table from his brother, Banner picked at his food without enthusiasm. “I said I wouldn't mind her dropping by occasionally when she makes trips to Springfield to visit her relatives. I made it clear, actually, that I hoped she would.”
Tim stared at him. “You said it just that way?”
“Well…yeah. Pretty much.”
“And you can't figure out why she might have taken offense.”
“No.”
Shaking his head in apparent disgust, Tim reached for his coffee cup. “And to think I came to you for advice.”
Banner deliberately set down his fork. “What's that supposed to mean?”
“Even though I only met Lucy yesterday, I can't imagine she would be satisfied with being an occasional visitor in your life. It was obvious to me that she's crazy about you. She probably needs to believe you feel the same way about her. And I can't imagine that you
Banner's fist tightened around his fork as he forced himself to keep his expression impassive. “Of course she's great. But really, Tim, can you see her being interested in me for very long? She's everything I'm not. I couldn't have found anyone more my opposite if I'd gone looking.”
“You thought you had a lot in common with your ex-wife, but that certainly didn't last long. Maybe what you need is someone different from you, have you ever considered that?”
“I don't need anyone,” Banner shot back. “I've gotten along just fine on my own.”
“You're scared.” Tim looked stunned by the realization. “Funny, I didn't think anything ever scared you, but you are. You're afraid to take the risk of a relationship with Lucy.”
Because Tim had unconsciously echoed part of Lucy's goodbye note, Banner scowled. “That's bull.”
“I don't think so. If there's one thing I recognize it's fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change. I've struggled with all of them lately.”
Banner saw no correlation at all between his situation and Tim's. Tim was making sweeping changes because he had been dissatisfied with his life. Banner, on the other hand, was perfectly content with the way things had been for the past couple of years. He had his work, his home, his dog. When he wanted companionship, he had Polston or the guys down at the pool hall. If he ever felt lonely, he reminded himself that solitude was better than being the odd guy out in a crowd.
He wasn't afraid of change, he assured himself. He just saw no need to fix what hadn't been broken. His heart, for example.
And that errant thought annoyed him so much that his scowl deepened even more. “Eat your breakfast,” he muttered. “Your eggs are getting cold.”
Tim obligingly stuffed a bite of bacon into his mouth, but Banner could tell it wouldn't be long before the interrogation began again. He was rather relieved when someone knocked on the front door.
“Maybe it's Lucy,” Tim said after a hasty swallow. “Maybe she changed her mind.”
But Banner didn't think so. More likely it was Polston or one of the other guys with an invitation for him to watch the New Year's Day games or shoot some pool or something. Lucy's note had been too firm and pointed to have been written on a quickly regretted impulse.
The way things had been going lately, he shouldn't have been surprised to find another member of his family on
