In the After

“A cure?” I asked, daring to hope.

“We can’t find a cure. We tried to develop an antidote at the beginning of our research, one that we could use on our own soldiers so they wouldn’t become infected. It was never effective, and now the original strain has mutated. If someone is bitten by a Florae, they’re irrevocably changed.”

“Then what? Something to slay them all?” I couldn’t stop thinking of them as mindless killers, but I’d also begun to think of them as people. They were all human, once.

“Unfortunately they are still too similar to humans. Anything I could develop to kill them would kill us as well. What I’m working on is a vaccine,” my mother explained.

“How do you test something like that?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.

My mother crossed her arms, pinched her lips together. I wanted to cry then.

“You used those people the Guardians caught, didn’t you? Amber’s brother, his gang?”

“I did what was necessary. I will always do what is necessary.”

“Even if it means killing innocent people?”

“I would sacrifice the few to save the many, yes.”

I paused, afraid to ask the next question. “Does Rice know all this?” I whispered.

My mother looked down, then up at me. “He knows about the infection, what the Floraes really are.”

I sucked in a breath. I felt betrayed. Sickened, I could no longer stand to be in the same room with her. I made a break for the door.

“Amy, wait! Let me walk you out of here. If you’re caught . . .”

I ran out the door and down the hall. When I finally reached the elevator, I was shaking so badly I could barely hold the key card.

At the first floor, the elevator doors opened and I was staring straight into the face of Dr. Reynolds. His eyes widened when he recognized me, taking in the lab coat, my trembling hands.

“Hello, Amy. What are you doing here without an escort?”

I couldn’t even look at him. “My mother walked me to the elevator and sent me up. It’s my birthday.”

“I know. I also hear you passed your Guardian test. Congratulations.”

No thanks to you. I pushed past him, desperate to reach the outside.

I heard him call after me: “Good-bye, Amy. I’ll see you later.” From his mouth it sounded like a threat.

* * *

When my mother comes to visit me, I pretend to be drugged. I don’t look at her when she sits next to me or puts her hand on my shoulder.

“I’ve asked Dr. Reynolds to give you another psyche-eval. He’s going to, as a special favor to me,” she tells me.

I look at her sharply and I can see she is surprised. I try to dull my face, act uninterested. “That’s nice, Mom.” I turn back to the television.

“I just want you to know, Amy, that all the things I did . . . I have to make up for them. I know what I’m responsible for, and I can never forget it.” There are tears streaming down her face now.

I stare straight ahead until she gets up to leave, kissing me on the top of my head.

* * *

I wasn’t back in my mother’s apartment for more than a few minutes before there was a knock at the door. When I didn’t answer, Rice came in anyway, looking jubilant. He thought we were going to have the mother of all parties tonight, to celebrate my birthday and my becoming a Guardian.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw my tearstained face. “What happened?”

“I found out my mother is responsible for the apocalypse,” I whispered.

“What . . .?” His jaw dropped.

“I know the secret . . . about the Floraes. I know what they are.” I reached into my pocket and fished out his key card, holding it up. He took it back solemnly and sat next to me on the couch.

“I killed Vivian,” I told him, unable to meet his gaze.

“No you didn’t. Even if you killed a Florae that used to be Vivian . . . it wasn’t her. Vivian is gone.” He reached out to me but I shrank away. “Have you told anyone?” he asked.

“Not yet, but people deserve to know the truth.”

“Amy, come on. Let’s talk about this. . . . I think you just need to cool off. There are a lot of things you think you may know, but really you have no idea.”

“Like what, Rice? What else could I possibly not know?” I was close to sobbing again.

He put his hand on my back. “I . . . ,” he began just as Baby burst through the door.

Happy birthday, Amy! she signed, running over to us. Did you pass your test today? Are we having a double party tonight? She turned to Rice. Hi, Rice. Do you want to hear about school today? It was fan. We were put into groups and had to solve a puzzle. My group was the fastest. . . .

“Hannah, not now. I have to talk to Amy—” Rice clapped his hand on his mouth, alarmed.

Baby took a step back, her eyes wide. She stared at Rice with an intensity I’d never seen before. Then she opened her mouth and sounded out the syllables.

“Han-naaa.” Her voice was soft and hesitant. I couldn’t believe the sound came from her. That’s me, she signed slowly, Before.

I leaped up and hugged her, the tears pouring down. Baby could talk. She had a name. I turned to Rice, who was watching us with a look of dread. “How did you know her name?” I demanded.

Rice was breathing heavily. “I think maybe you should sit back down, Amy.”

I went to the couch and pulled Baby onto my lap, unwilling to let her go.

“I . . . I don’t know where to start. . . .” He took off his glasses and cleaned them on his lab coat before returning them to his face. “Baby—her name was Hannah then—was in foster care, just like I was. Hutsen-Prime chose us. Some of us, the older kids, they tested us and singled us out. We were given special treatment, an education beyond anything we could ever hope for. Some of the children . . . the little ones . . . they took care of them. They also used them for experimentation.”

Baby was an experimental subject? Suddenly it was all clear and the truth hit me like a brick. “Is that why she has that mark on her neck?” I asked.

“Yes. The research team your mother was working with was not only looking for a weapon; they were looking for an antidote. Something ally soldiers could take to keep them immune from the bacteria.”

“What does that have to do with . . . ?” I sucked in a breath. “They were testing the bacteria on children?”

Rice sighed. “Children who had no family, who were lost in the system. Children who wouldn’t be missed if they had an adverse reaction. The mark is the injection site.”

I hugged Baby close. I couldn’t bear to think of her as Hannah, as some test subject with no parents to protect her. “And you were a part of all that?”

“To a small degree, yes. I was still only a child myself.” He looked at Baby. “They lost so many of their original research subjects. . . . When I saw Baby that day, when I saw the mark, I remembered her. She was always so playful, so friendly with the other children. She was one of my favorites. Amy, I knew her. I have been trying to protect her.”

“Do you think she is immune?” I thought of the wound on her leg. Was it a Florae bite?

“I . . . don’t know. I’ve been secretly testing her blood but I haven’t found anything that would help us.”

“You’ve been testing her? Rice, if my mother found out . . .” If Dr. Reynolds found out.

“I don’t know what they would do to her,” he admitted. “I’ve tried to keep her under the radar.”

“You’ve been keeping her safe,” I said, seeing Rice with new eyes. “Please, you have to keep helping her. I might not always be around.” I started to tell him about Baby’s hearing.

“I know.” He smiled. Baby told me, he signed. “I’ll protect her.”

I was only allowed a moment of shock before the door opened loudly. I turned, expecting my mother had