she walk away? Could she not keep her cool, convince Ben it was a one off and get things back on track?
She casually filled the case whilst pondering over what to do. By the time it was full of clothes and closed shut, she really didn’t know whether she was going or staying.
Would Ben be back tonight? Would he even let her stay if he did come back?
She sat down on the bed, just as she received a text message on her phone, her stomach churned as she took it in hand and prepared herself for the response from Ben. But the text wasn’t from her angry boyfriend, it was from Mr Money.
YOU BUSY?
Natalie couldn’t do anything about the Ben situation while he wasn’t home and not answering his mobile, so decided she may as well keep herself occupied. She gave Mr Money the response he was hoping for.
16
Ben was shattered. The events of the day were taking their toll.
It isn’t every day you lose your job. It’s not every day that you discover first hand that your loved one is cheating on you. For most, committing a double murder will never happen. Then on top of all that, Ben had his mother insinuating that his father was an infamous serial killer.
He was exhausted.
He had strong doubts that the anger management meeting would be of any benefit to his situation, but after loitering outside for a few minutes and realising he didn’t have anywhere else to go, he found himself sat down in the back row of the civic centre meeting room.
The room filled up soon enough, and on the hour, the counsellor entered the room and introduced herself. The lack of attention paid to her by most of the group gave Ben the impression that most of them were regulars.
Maggie was a kind lady, volunteering one evening a week to help those in her local community who were honest enough to admit they had some issues to deal with, not forgetting those who were forced to attend by the local courts following some type of violent or anti-social behaviour. One could tell the difference between those who chose to be there and those who were forced to attend; the contrast between interest and disinterest couldn’t be clearer.
One by one, the group introduced themselves, gave a brief explanation of why they were there. Some people gave lengthy stories of past events with personal theories as to what led to their disturbing thoughts or violent outbursts, or both. Others played down their level of aggression and defensively pleaded their normality.
Ben actually appeared quite shy. Did his history of talking to strangers over the phone not translate to live confessions to complete unknowns in a therapy group? Or was it that he was too scared to let slip a vital piece of incriminating information, the sort of information that could lead to conviction for a double murder?
There were often snide comments made between and against members of the group. Some of these people just couldn’t bite their tongue and had to throw in their two pennies worth. Some were just plain mean. But one person in particular caught Ben’s eye.
Eve, a young lady, maybe early twenties, had the same aggressive streak as the others, but she was more about protecting the victims of the heckling from those who weren’t so nice, more about using her aggressiveness to defend those who needed to be defended.
Ben received a couple of comments from a big guy sat a few seats away from him, nothing too strong, being told to speak up, speak clearly, the ruffian even mimicking Ben’s well-spoken dialect. Eve took offence to this and stood up, pointed at the man and gave him a piece of her mind.
‘Why don’t you keep your stupidity to yourself for once, Trevor? Give the man a chance,’ she said, before smiling at Ben and sitting back down.
Ben had actually already finished. He had introduced himself, told them it was his first time here and admitted, rather falsely, he didn’t know exactly why he decided to come. Now under the spotlight, people had started to pay him attention after Eve’s outburst, he became lost for words.
‘There’s nothing more,’ he mumbled, shaking his head, then glancing at Eve and mouthing the word ‘sorry’.
She rolled her eyes and smiled to herself. Ben realised she didn’t care whether he continued or not, she just wanted to put Trevor in his place.
Ben struggled to pay attention to what was going on around him. He’d had one of the worse days of his life, second only to that day he was told of his father’s death, although he was aware that an unwanted visit by the police anytime soon would bump the day he lost his dad off the top spot.
His mind flickered from seeing his girlfriend, his lover, his soul mate thrusting her clitoris into another man’s mouth, to a young lad falling into the canal, blood on his hands and a screaming teenage girl who just wouldn’t shut up until her head had caved in on the concrete ground under the bridge.
And his mother, his dear old mother who was surely losing her mind, yet seemed so convincing when claiming that his father had been a serial killer, an absurd accusation that would bizarrely explain the problems he was having with the voices, the face in the mirror, the rage he felt as he took two lives within the space of seconds.
Then sometimes he would glance across to Eve, and felt a wave of euphoria rise from the pit of his stomach whenever they caught each other’s eye.
Finally, Maggie looked at her watch. She was clearly tired, and probably asking herself why she gave up her time to help a group of people that in all likelihood could never be helped. Not that she would ever quit, deep down she was happy to at least be trying, for some people that is enough and she was one of them, a kind person who just wanted to help, even when it was futile. She checked her watch again and gladly called an end to the group meeting. Her work for the evening was done, she could go home and try to sort through some of her own problems, the type of problems that normal, nice people have to try to solve, like paying the bills, or deciding what to get the grandchildren for their birthdays.
Ben stood and was the first to leave. He emerged from the town hall and took a deep breath of the cool, crisp evening air. He pondered for a moment as to where he would go, home? No. His mother’s house? He couldn’t deal with it. He tried to work out where the closest, cheap hotel was from here then felt a hand on his shoulder.
He turned to see Eve face to face with him. This time the feeling in his stomach was the flutter of butterflies.
Eve was beautiful, or could be. She chose to wear dark make up and clothing, almost gothic, but she had a nice body, thin with ample breasts and the minimal skin that was on display looked soft and cared for.
She introduced herself to Ben, maintaining eye contact all the while, as she gave him a brief explanation as to why she attended the group. She told him that she did have anger issues in the past, but they were long gone, she was here to learn about human nature, to learn about the raw emotions of her colleagues in this great city.
Ben loved the sound of her voice. She was well spoken, well-educated clearly. Ben imagined the disapproval of the young woman’s parents, not only of her dress sense but her choice in extracurricular activity. He apologised for his apparent awkwardness earlier, explained that he’d had a difficult couple of months and an awful day.
Eve looked Ben in the eye and placed the softest of hands on his cheek. He could have melted, or dropped to his knees and broken down in tears.
She felt his emotion.
He had never had this kind of connection in his life, not with Natalie certainly, and not with his mother, not even his father. He didn’t understand why he felt this instant bond with someone who didn’t amount to more than a stranger, nor did he have time to try and rationalise the situation before she opened her mouth to utter more words, exactly the words he had wanted to hear.
‘Come home with me.’
