the back of my neck as he gets to his knees, pressing against me. His lips are soft, and when his tongue grazes my lower lip, I let out a soft moan. I knot my fingers in his hair and kiss him hard, pushing him back in the sand. Harlin feels like home. He is my one constant, my one true need. And when Harlin curses, saying we have to get somewhere private before he goes crazy, we leave my surfboard floating in the ocean and ride off on his Harley.
Harlin is renting an upstairs apartment not far from the beach. He holds my hand as he leads me inside the small studio. There are drawings taped to the walls. Pictures of me in each life. Pictures of others—I’m assuming Forgotten who crossed over. Harlin is cursed to remember them when no one else ever will. He is a Seer, leading them toward their destiny, never letting them give up. But when the Forgotten are gone, they are erased from all minds but his. He carries their grief alone.
Harlin strips off his wet T-shirt and grabs my arm to pull me over. He kisses me again, passionately, urgently. “This wet suit is infuriating,” he mumbles as he glides his hands over the smooth exterior, no contact with skin.
I laugh and take a step back. Harlin grins and goes to lie on the bed, watching as I unzip the gray wet suit. Soon I’m standing there in a bikini, and when I put my knee on the bed to climb up, Harlin nods his approval.
“You drive me mad,” he says. When I’m close enough, he takes my arm to pull me on top of him, immediately kissing my neck, his hands gliding over my skin. It consumes me—his touch, his warmth.
“I am so incredibly in love with you,” I breathe out. Harlin rolls on top of me, and I dig my nails into his back, urging him on. This is just like last time—the last time we saw each other before I extinguished Onika, the Shadow trying to kill me. I needed to cross over to bring on the light that would send Onika into oblivion. And if I hope to save my sister from the evil consuming her, I’ll have to do it again. I’ll have to sacrifice myself. Back in Arizona, my Seer Marceline told me I wouldn’t have to leave again, but it wasn’t true. The universe betrayed me last time. Maybe now I need to take control of my own destiny.
I close my eyes, listening as Harlin whispers in my ear about how much he’s missed me. How he’d die without me. No one but me knows how tender Harlin really is. No one knows him like I do. I look at him again, my eyes fluttering under his touch. Maybe it’s because we’re always saying good-bye—maybe that’s why we’re always burning up for each other. But it doesn’t really matter why we love each other. It just matters that we do.
Harlin is curled up behind me, his chin on my shoulder, in the quiet of his apartment. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I hope it hasn’t been that long. Because there will never be enough time.
“Why can’t it always be like this?” I say. “Why can’t we just be together, kissing and growing old?”
“It can,” Harlin says in his low voice. “We’ll get on the bike and leave right now. We won’t tell a soul.” He’s willing to give up the entire world just to be with me, but it’s not that easy. He knows that. I turn to him and smile sadly. “Run away with me, Charlotte.”
There’s a tug at my heart—my name, my old name, like a secret between us. Charlotte is gone, and Harlin is the only person in the world who remembers her. My eyes begin to well up at the loss and the bond it’s created between us. “Will you just hold me for another minute?” I ask weakly, sniffling as I start to cry.
Harlin doesn’t hesitate. He wraps his strong arms around me, pulling me tight against him.
Because although Harlin and I have finally found each other again, we know how this will end, how it always ends. So we cling to our stolen moments, hoping this time will be different.
Chapter 8
“So what exactly is the plan here?” Harlin asks when he drops me off at my father’s car. The traffic on the beach has picked up, and I imagine my parents are worried about me. I’ll have to go home and face them, knowing I’m not who they think I am. Knowing I haven’t always been their only daughter. But like I learned last time, the memories feel real—so to me, they’re still Mom and Dad.
“You know I love her, right?” I say to Harlin, my heart aching. “I love Lucy. I don’t know if I can send her away.”
Harlin lowers his eyes and takes my fingers in his. “I know. And to be perfectly honest, if it means losing you, I don’t want you to extinguish her either. There has to be another way. The universe has always underestimated you.”
“Do you have any ideas?” He starts to answer, but I cut him off. “Other than running away together.”
“Then no.” He’s not apologetic. Harlin is never sorry for how much he loves me. “But if Monroe was here,” he says, “I’m sure he’d tell you to think of the greater good. He was an asshole that way.”
I smile. “I had a dream about him last night. He said something eerily similar to that. The way I see it, the advantage we have right now is that Lucy doesn’t know I remember yet. She still thinks I’m just Claire. So maybe I can talk to her. She’s my sister—”
“You know she’s not your sister anymore,” Harlin says gently, even though his words are awful. “And it’s my fault too; I failed as her Seer. But Claire, she’s no longer in control of her impulses. That night at the beach, she almost drowned that girl. Told her to go in the water. Why? Because that’s what Shadows do. They wreak havoc and cause misery and pain. And whatever went down with your high-school boyfriend, you can bet that was due to her too.” Harlin’s jaw hardens when he mentions Ezra. It hadn’t occurred to me until now how difficult it must have been for him to see me with someone else. Even though I love Harlin, my feelings for Ezra were—are—real. I can’t change that.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. He gives me a look like I’m being an idiot.
“It’s not your fault.” He shrugs. “I didn’t even punch him in the face, because it’s not his fault either.”
I smile. “Like you’d ever hit anyone.”
Harlin steps closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Enough about him. All I’m saying,” he goes on, “is that
“Me,” I say. “She wants me to be a Shadow—which means I’ll be around forever, Harlin. But I’ll be evil. Obviously that’s not going to happen, but I don’t think she’ll give up either. Bringing me into the Shadows will validate her choice. She’ll have her family—a dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless.”
Harlin watches me for a long moment. “Can you do it?” he asks. “Can you really destroy your sister?”
“I don’t know. But I’m not sure I have another choice.”
Harlin hugs me, resting his cheek on the top of my head. We sway, standing together at my father’s car. “Have you been having Needs?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah. Two of them.”
He looks down. “Already? That’s quick.”
“I’m stronger,” I say. “How about you? Have you helped any Forgotten lately?”
He shakes his head. “Nope. After Arizona, I haven’t seen any Forgotten other than you. Maybe you’re the only one left.”
“Yeah, no pressure,” I say, taking a step back. I zip up the front of my wet suit all the way and reach for the car-door handle. “I need to go home and change. Then I’ll call Lucy, see if I can get her to meet me here tonight.”
Harlin nods, glancing around like he’s scoping the place out. He probably won’t leave. He’ll want to make sure Lucy doesn’t show up early to ambush me. I lean to give him one last kiss and then get in the car. I don’t know how I’m going to lure my sister out, how I’ll fake not knowing who she is. But despite Harlin’s warning, I am going to try to talk to her. It’s the only other way.
The house is empty when I get home, which is surprising. The bakery isn’t open on Sundays. I look for a note, but don’t find anything. Now that I know Lucy is a Shadow, my concern for my family spikes. Shadows can manipulate things or even influence thoughts. All it would take is a whisper in my mother’s ear, and my family could have left town. I know what Shadows are capable of.
I get to my room and change out of the wet suit and bathing suit, opting for shorts and a soft T-shirt. I tie up my hair in a ponytail and then go into River’s room to grab one of his hoodies. When I open his door, my heart stops.
His desk chair is toppled over, papers scattered on the floor. His sheets are a tangled mess, his window
