'That isn't exactly how it works,' Mike Teavee said.
'I am a little deaf in my left ear,' Mr Wonka said. 'You must forgive me if I don't hear everything you say.'
'I said, that isn't exactly how it works!' shouted Mike Teavee.
'You're a nice boy,' Mr Wonka said, 'but you talk too much. Now then! The very first time I saw ordinary television working, I was struck by a tremendous idea. 'Look here!' I shouted. 'If these people can break up a photograph into millions of pieces and send the pieces whizzing through the air and then put them together again at the other end, why can't I do the same thing with a bar of chocolate? Why can't I send a real bar of chocolate whizzing through the air in tiny pieces and then put the pieces together at the other end, all ready to be eaten?''
'Impossible!' said Mike Teavee.
'You think so?' cried Mr Wonka. 'Well, watch this! I shall now send a bar of my very best chocolate from one end of this room to the other – by television! Get ready, there! Bring in the chocolate!'
Immediately, six Oompa-Loompas marched forward carrying on their shoulders the most enormous bar of chocolate Charlie had ever seen. It was about the size of the mattress he slept on at home.
'It has to be big,' Mr Wonka explained, 'because whenever you send something by television, it always comes out much smaller than it was when it went in. Even with ordinary television, when you photograph a big man, he never comes out on your screen any taller than a pencil, does he? Here we go, then! Get ready! No, no! Stop! Hold everything! You there! Mike Teavee! Stand back! You're too close to the camera! There are dangerous rays coming out of that thing! They could break you up into a million tiny pieces in one second! That's why the Oompa-Loompas are wearing space suits! The suits protect them! All right! That's better! Now, then! Switch on!'
One of the Oompa-Loompas caught hold of a large switch and pulled it down.
There was a blinding flash.
'The chocolate's gone!' shouted Grandpa Joe, waving his arms.
He was quite right! The whole enormous bar of chocolate had disappeared completely into thin air!
'It's on its way!' cried Mr Wonka. 'It is now rushing through the air above our heads in a million tiny pieces. Quick! Come over here!' He dashed over to the other end of the room where the large television set was standing, and the others followed him. 'Watch the screen!' he cried. 'Here it comes! Look!'
The screen flickered and lit up. Then suddenly, a small bar of chocolate appeared in the middle of the screen.
'Take it!' shouted Mr Wonka, growing more and more excited.
'How can you take it?' asked Mike Teavee, laughing. 'It's just a picture on a television screen!'
'Charlie Bucket!' cried Mr Wonka. 'You take it! Reach out and grab it!'
Charlie put out his hand and touched the screen, and suddenly, miraculously, the bar of chocolate came away in his fingers. He was so surprised he nearly dropped it.
'Eat it!' shouted Mr Wonka. 'Go on and eat it! It'll be delicious! It's the same bar! It's got smaller on the journey, that's all!'
'It's absolutely fantastic!' gasped Grandpa Joe. 'It's … it's … it's a miracle!'
'Just imagine,' cried Mr Wonka, 'when I start using this across the country … you'll be sitting at home watching television and suddenly a commercial will flash on to the screen and a voice will say, 'EAT WONKA'S CHOCOLATES! THEY'RE THE BEST IN THE WORLD! IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US, TRY ONE FOR YOURSELF – NOW!' And you simply reach out and take one! How about that, eh?'
'Terrific!' cried Grandpa Joe. 'It will change the world!'
27
Mike Teavee is Sent by Television
Mike Teavee was even more excited than Grandpa Joe at seeing a bar of chocolate being sent by television. 'But Mr Wonka,' he shouted, 'can you send other things through the air in the same way? Breakfast cereal, for instance?'
'Oh, my sainted aunt!' cried Mr Wonka. 'Don't mention that disgusting stuff in front of me! Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!'
'But could you send it by television if you wanted to, as you do chocolate?' asked Mike Teavee.
'Of course I could!'
'And what about people?' asked Mike Teavee. 'Could you send a real live person from one place to another in the same way?'
'A person!' cried Mr Wonka. 'Are you off your rocker?' 'But could it be done?'
'Good heavens, child, I really don't know … I suppose it could … yes. I'm pretty sure it could … of course it could … I wouldn't like to risk it, though … it might have some very nasty results …'
But Mike Teavee was already off and running. The moment he heard Mr Wonka saying, 'I'm pretty sure it could … of course it could,' he turned away and started running as fast as he could towards the other end of the room where the great camera was standing. 'Look at me!' he shouted as he ran. 'I'm going to be the first person in the world to be sent by television!'
'No, no, no, no!' cried Mr Wonka.
'Mike!' screamed Mrs Teavee. 'Stop! Come back! You'll be turned into a million tiny pieces!'
But there was no stopping Mike Teavee now. The crazy boy rushed on, and when he reached the enormous camera, he jumped straight for the switch, scattering Oompa-Loompas right and left as he went.
'See you later, alligator!' he shouted, and he pulled down the switch, and as he did so, he leaped out into the full glare of the mighty lens.
There was a blinding flash. Then there was silence.
Then Mrs Teavee ran forward … but she stopped dead in the middle of the room … and she stood there … she stood staring at the place where her son had been … and her great red mouth opened wide and she screamed, 'He's gone! He's gone!'
'Great heavens, he has gone!' shouted Mr Teavee.
Mr Wonka hurried forward and placed a hand gently on Mrs Teavee's shoulder. 'We shall have to hope for the best,' he said. 'We must pray that your little boy will come out unharmed at the other end.'
'Mike!' screamed Mrs Teavee, clasping her head in her hands. 'Where are you?'
'I'll tell you where he is,' said Mr Teavee, 'he's whizzing around above our heads in a million tiny pieces!'
'Don't talk about it!' wailed Mrs Teavee.
'We must watch the television set,' said Mr Wonka. 'He may come through any moment.'
Mr and Mrs Teavee and Grandpa Joe and little Charlie and Mr Wonka all gathered round the television and stared tensely at the screen. The screen was quite blank.
'He's taking a heck of a long time to come across,' said Mr Teavee, wiping his brow. 'Oh dear, oh dear,' said Mr Wonka, 'I do hope that no part of him gets left behind.' 'What on earth do you mean?' asked Mr Teavee sharply.
'I don't wish to alarm you,' said Mr Wonka, 'but it does sometimes happen that only about half the little pieces find their way into the television set. It happened last week. I don't know why, but the result was that only half a bar of chocolate came through.'
Mrs Teavee let out a scream of horror. 'You mean only a half of Mike is coming back to us?' she cried.
'Let's hope it's the top half,' said Mr Teavee.
'Hold everything!' said Mr Wonka. 'Watch the screen! Something's happening!'
The screen had suddenly begun to flicker.
Then some wavy lines appeared.
Mr Wonka adjusted one of the knobs and the wavy lines went away.
