Mindswap

'What wot ye here aroon?'

Marvin looked at the ganzer egg, who remained obstinately silent. So, guessing at the meaning of the words, Marvin said, 'Sir, we are trying to escape from this planet, and we have come to you for help.'

The Hermit shook his head and said:

'What barbrous tongue is this? A thick-mouthed sheep
Would clothe his meaning in a sound more clear!'

'What does he mean?'Marvin asked.

'You're so smart, figure it out for yourself,' the ganzer egg said.

'I'm sorry if I insulted you.' Marvin said.

'Forget it, forget it.'

'I really am sorry. I'd appreciate it if you'd translate for us.'

'All right,' the ganzer egg said, still a little sulkily. 'He says he doesn't understand you.'

'He doesn't? But what I said to him was clear enough.'

'Not to him,' the ganzer egg said. 'You want to reach him, you'd better put it in metre.'

'Me? I couldn't!' Marvin said, with that instinctual shudder of revulsion which all intelligent Terran males feel at the though of verse. 'I simply couldn't! Otis, maybe you-'

'Not me!' Otis said, alarmed. 'What do you think I am? A fag?'

'A silence swells and grows; yet honest men
Speak bold, with well-formed mouth! Melikes it not
What this development portends.'

'He's getting edgy,' the ganzer egg said. 'You better have a shot at it.'

'Perhaps you could do it for us,' Otis suggested.

'I'm no fag,' the ganzer egg sneered. 'If you want to speak, you'll have to speak for yourselves.'

'The only poem I can remember from school is the Ruba'iyat,' Marvin said.

'Well, go to it,' the ganzer egg said.

Marvin thought, twitched, and nervously said:

'Behold! A pilgrim from the forest war
Of race 'gainst race, does humbly implore
Your aid and sustenance, and help and hope.
Can you this humble earnest plea ignore?'

'Very shaky,' whispered the ganzer egg. 'But not bad for a first attempt.' (Otis was giggling, and Marvin clouted him with his tail.)

The Hermit replied:

'Well spoken, stranger! You shall have this aid.
Nay, more! For when men meet, despite their divers forms,
They needs must succor each one to his own.'

More quickly now, Marvin replied:

'I hoped, in this ancient planetoid with dreams displayed
Of sunrise splendors, sunsets disarrayed,
That one poor pilgrim who did pass this way
Might find escape from terrors he surveyed.'

The Hermit said:

'Step forward then, my friend, my liege, my lord,
For all men are consistent to that state
Which life shall bring to them; the veriest slave
May some day be the king of yonder peer,
While this man here, this enemy by rote
Of graven custom, shall at hand
Be cup companion, if his speech be known!'

Marvin stepped forward, saying:

'Much thanks! Your doorway to the stars
Fits wise man and fool; yet still it bars
The Mute, who through his foolish tongue unused
Won't even get one half the way to Mars.'

Otis, who had been restraining his giggles through all this, now said: 'Hey! Were you saying something about me?'

'I certainly was,' Marvin said. 'You'd better start versifying if you want to get out of here.'

'Well, rats, you're doing it for both of us.'

'Nope. The Hermit just said you have to speak for yourself.'

'My God, what'll I do? Otis muttered. 'I don't know any poetry.'

'You better think of something,' the ganzer egg said.

'Well … all I can remember is a little Swinburne which some goopey girl talked to me once. It's pretty stupid stuff.'

'Let's hear it,' Marvin said.

Otis sweated and swotted, and at last intoned:

'When the spaceships of Earth are on distant planets,
The soul of a man, be he slender or tall,