Ascites: fluid in the abdominal cavity, always abnormal, often associated with liver disease or infection, resulting in distended belly.
Attendings: private doctors affiliated with the House of God.
A?V node: Atrio?Ventricular node, a collection of pacemaking cells in the heart, between the atria and ventricles, which can, if the normal sinus node fails, take over the initiation of the heartbeat.
Black Crow: the House Award given to the intern who collects the most postmortem permissions in the course of the year; prize is a tiepin and a free trip to Atlantic City, for AMA meetings.
Blue Blazers: House Administration; often tanned, blond, gold?buttoned; comprising the staff of HELP; origin and function unknown.
BMS: Best Medical School (in the world).
BMS: a BMS student
BUFF: polish to make look good, as BUFF a car, BUFF a chart, BUFF a gomer; part of BUFF and TURF.
BUN: Blood Urea Nitrogen; indirect measure of heart failure.
BOUNCE: to return to: 'I BUFFED her and then TURFED her to Urology, but she BOUNCED back to me.'
Bowel Run: part of the Gastrointestinal Workup, a series of tests, including upper GI series with small bowel follow?through, barium enema, sigmoidoscopy, fiver scan, gallbladder series etc.; a specialty of the House; prior to the bowel run the 'cleanout' is necessary, a series of enemas and cathartics to render the bowel, in the words of a surgeon, 'so clean I can drink the stuff coming out'; The Emperor of the Bowel Run: Dr. Putzel; The Bowel Run of the Stars: the Fat Man's dream.
Cardiac catheterization: threading catheters through veins and arteries into the heart so that radio?opaque dye can be injected and the structure of the vessels and the chambers can be seen.
CHF: congestive heart failure, progressive incurable decay of the heart, in which it can't pump blood efficiently; leads to renal failure, pulmonary edema, stasis ulcers, death.
Cirrhosis: chronic degeneration of the liver; usually fatal.
Clavicular: of the clavicle, bone at the top of the chest running between the shoulders.
CVP: central venous pressure, the pressure in the vein feeding directly into the heart; CVP line, a catheter placed in that vein to measure pressure.
Cytology: study of cells, especially cells suspected of being malignant.
Defibrillator: machine used to attempt to shock the heart back into normal rhythm or to start it again after it stops; electrodes are placed on chest wall; also called cardioverter.
DERM: Dermatology, the study of skin; an NPC Specialty.
Disimpaction: using a finger to dig impacted feces out of the rectum.
Dr. Jung's Anal Mirror: allegedly the Fat Man's Great American Medical Invention, allowing the user to view his or her own anus 'in the comfort and privacy of the home.'
Dyspareunia: pain during intercourse; especially in the female.
Ectopic nodal pacemaker: abnormal initiation of the heartbeat from the A?V node instead of from the sinus node.
Ectopic pregnancy: abnormal location of the fertilized ovum, often in the fallopian tubes; upon rupture, often fatal
Egedystonic: a thought, feeling, or action which causes discomfort to oneself; opposite of egosyntonic.
Episiotomy: incision in vagina during labor and delivery to allow baby to be born without damaging the mother unnecessarily.
Feeding tube: polyethylene tube put into stomach through nostril, through which pureed food is injected.
Flatulence: farting.
Foley catheter: tube put into bladder through urethra to assure flow of urine.
France: a country.
Fulminant necrotic hepatitis: inflammation of the liver, acute; various causes; virtually always fatal.
GAS: Anaesthesiology; an NPC Specialty.
Gastrocnemius: muscle of the calf; soleus is another calf muscle.
GI: Gastro?Intestinal, pertaining to the gut.
Glomerulonephritis: inflammation of part of the kidney; often fatal.
Gluteal: muscle forming the ass.
GOMER: Get Out of My Emergency Room; 'a human being who has lost?often through age-what goes into being a human being'(the Fat Man).
