I nodded, feeling like shit. “I know.”
“Listen, I don’t want to think about thatshit anymore, I just know you can’t go through that again. If youlike this girl, then talk to her, but don’t do it if you don’tthink you can handle it. We don’t need this, Payton.”
I knew what he was saying, and I didn’t knowwhat promises I could make. “I don’t know what to do.”
“If you don’t, then maybe you should justlet her go.”
I swallowed. The thought of never seeingKeri again made me physically ill. “I don’t…”
“It’ll kill Mom if you do something stupidagain,” Mitch said, and that sobered me.
I nodded. “Then I guess I won’t.”
Mitch took a deep breath and stood, and Ijoined him. “Mom’s making your favorite meal tonight. I told her Iwas going to bring you home. You want me to pick you up after work,or do you think you can make it on your own?”
I laughed gruffly. “Do you think they’ll beokay with me coming?”
Mitch took a deep breath and tried not tolet the emotions get to him. “They’ll be more than okay. See you atsix.”
Keri
I ran down the steps and into the kitchen,nearly knocking Mom over.
“Whoa! Where’s the fire?” Mom asked, andturned toward me. “You nearly got me with hot coffee.” The Keurigfinished, and Mom pulled her cup from underneath and made her wayto the table. “What’s up?”
“Mom,” I said, breathing heavy. Mom waslooking at me as if I’d lost my marbles. “Can…” I put my hands onmy knees and took a deep breath.
“Apparently cardio isn’t your strongsuit.”
I laughed, and took a deep breath and thenblew out. “Apparently not. Anyway, Mom, would you care if Alexis,my roommate, and Todd came to stay with us for a little bit?”
Mom looked at me for a moment and thensmiled. “No, I think that would be nice.”
I grinned, and waited for Mom to put downher coffee cup. I did a little wiggle dance, and then gave her ahug. “Thanks, Mom!”
Mom laughed. “What’s this about?”
I smiled, and sat down at the table. “Well,it’s just… I… Todd had a great idea.”
Mom took a drink of her coffee and thenwaited for me to continue.
“He said that if he and I were dating, and Iburnt down our tree fort that he’d do whatever he could to rebuildthe thing.”
Mom frowned. “What?”
“Todd. Alexis’s boyfriend,” I said,gesturing wildly. “He said that if I wanted to make it up toPayton, I should rebuild the tree fort.”
Mom took a deep breath and she didn’t lookhappy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“But, Mom, it’s… it’s a great idea. You see,if Payton sees that I’m building the fort, and he sees that I caredenough to do that, then maybe he’ll…”
“Do what, Alexis? Do you think he’ll comeback to you?”
I frowned. Why was Mom acting likethis? “Well, yeah,” I said, deflated.
“You do know that he doesn’t live over thereanymore, right?”
I nodded.
“And you do know that he’s seeingPatti?”
I nodded again, suddenly feeling stupid formy outburst.
“And you do know that he was in thehospital for nearly the entire month of January, right?”
My heart stopped…nearly, and I looked at mymom. I shook my head. “No, what are you talking about?”
Mom looked down at the table and then took adeep breath and her eyes met mine. “He didn’t just burn down thattree fort, Keri, he burnt it down with himself in it.”
Chapter Three
* NeverForget…*
I played my mom’swords over and over again in my head “He didn’t just burn down thattree fort, Keri, he burnt it down with himself in it…” I waiteduntil the sky was completely dark, and headed toward the charredearth, carrying my notebook and flashlight in my book bag, and acup of coffee in my hand. I could always think better in the fort,and thinking is something that I needed to do right now.
When I got there, however, I wasn’t alone,and I could barely bring myself to speak.
Payton was there, and he didn’t see me.
I cleared my throat softly, startling himfrom his slumber. He was lying outside on his sleeping bag.
“Hey,” I said softly.
Payton looked up and his eyes weredifferent. They didn’t have that same shine in them as they didbefore.
“Hi.”
My pulse hammered in my neck, and I couldfeel my lip start to tremble. I didn’t want to cry here. I didn’twant to make him feel worse than he’d already felt. “How are you?”I asked.
Payton laughed gruffly and shrugged.“Okay.”
I tried to smile. “That’s…”
“This is weird,” Payton said, and thenstood, taking his sleeping bag with him. “I’ll just…”
“No! Wait,” I said, putting my hand out infront of me, halting him to his spot. “I wanted to… I want to tellyou that…”
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” Payton blurted out,and his face turned red.
I hated hearing those words coming out ofhis mouth. “I… I know, Mitch told me. Patti, she’s…”
Payton nodded. “Well, then, it was niceseeing you.” Payton started to walk away, and I didn’t know what todo.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
Payton turned toward me and shook his head.“No, I … I don’t think that’s a …”
I looked down to my feet. “I’m so sorry,Payton.” I was crying now, and the tears fell down my cheeksrapidly. “I really am. I’m sorry about everything… about…”
Payton put his hand out, and cleared histhroat. “I guess I just don’t care anymore, Ker.”
I gasped. “You don’t mean that, Pay. Youdon’t…”
“Yeah, I do,” he said, and then he took adeep breath. “See ya around.”
Then he left.
He left me alone.
I couldn’t help it, I cried.
I walked back to the house aboutfifteen minutes later. There was no sense in staying out in thefield when it wasn’t a place of solace anymore. It was a place thatreminded me of better days, but also of one horrible night: thenight Payton let me know that he didn’t care anymore.
I went up to my bedroom and pulled out mycellphone and logged on to Facebook. I sent Alexis a message,explaining to her that there was no point in coming over for thesummer. The whole tree fort idea wasn’t going to work. I
