Carefully I pull myself into a sitting position, finding the bed beneath me soaking with sweat. I turn my body, sliding to the edge of the bed, and I dangle my feet over the side. My sight is still fuzzy, and I allow myself a moment to collect what is left of my strength. A flashing reflection of light catches my attention and I pick up the lantern and tenderly walk barefoot across the thick carpeted floor to my dressing table. Holding the lantern over the surface, I find my dagger tucked neatly in its sheath, hidden partly beneath the clothes I had taken off earlier to bathe.
As I reach for the blade, I notice my hands are trembling. I think about Kane's touch, even just his shadow intertwined with my fingers. It was comforting, a solace when nothing more could be done. But Kane isn't here, it's just me. I pick up the knife and slide it part way out of its sheath, looking at the sharp reflective blade. My fingers tingle as a burst of energy sparks from the handle up my arm and into my chest. That energy pops and sizzles inside of me, cascading a flow of anxiety and fear into my heart.
This energy isn't from Kane, or Willem, or Drogaem even. This anxiety inducing firework comes directly from my dagger. Almost instantly I know exactly what I need to do. Whatever is going on with Kane, he is not himself. At least, he's not the man that took so much time attempting to convince me he was. The man that I had spoken to just hours before would have taken my dagger had he known about it. But Kane did know about it.
My teeth gnash against the inside of my lip as I contemplate my gut instinct. I need to hide my dagger where Kane cannot find it. Keeping it on my person only works as long as Kane and I stay separate, but I cannot tell from moment to moment where he stands. I look around the room, but I see no good option, no hidden crevice that Kane won't think to look if he were attempting to find the dagger.
I glance out the window at the purple haze night blanketing the Underworld. I know at this point there's no way I'm going back to sleep. While the soft spun satin sheets and billowing pillows call to me, my mind and body are far too tense to relax. I grab my dressing gown, a simple gray dress handstitched with a light airy skirt and pull it on over my head. Looking in the mirror, I stare at the purple bags beneath my eyes, and the way my normally shimmering and smooth hair knots and twists, matted on one side from the sweat.
I don't know if I'll see Kane, but I definitely can't go walking around the castle looking like this. I undo the braid in my hair and run a brush smoothly through my tresses. While there aren't a lot of knots or tangles given that my Ladies brush my hair before and after my bath, I take my time smoothing the wild hairs and pull it all into a loose ponytail at the base of my neck. I hold the long red ribbon neatly curled on my dressing table up, smiling just slightly as I wrap it around my hair.
Finally satisfied, I quietly exit my chambers and walk silently through the shadows that creep along the edges of the castle hallways. The Goddess who controls the garden I'm in search of also happens to be Kane's mother. Basing things off of the first time I met her, I can't imagine that she goes out of her way to make me comfortable in Death's home. Nonetheless, the enchantment that hides the gardens from everyone else stays suspended for me.
I hurry through the glass doors and slow just a bit as I approach the large pool sitting motionless in the center of the garden. The quiet and serenity of the space catches me off guard. It soothes me, pulls my nerves and caresses that yearning for peace. This is the place I came my first night in the Underworld. Basking in the pool, feeling the warmth of the enchanted space, and taking a break from the dark morose atmosphere that comes along with the territory when you are the bride of Death, is important.
Slowly I meander over to the pool, sitting down on the edge. I turn, looking at the dark stillness of the water. There are no ripples, no movement whatsoever. It looks like a mirrored surface, reflecting the lightness of the ambient space around me. I lean forward and peer down at my reflection, trying to picture myself back home, sitting by the still pond on my father's land. However, as I lean closer, my reflection isn't what I see. In its place is another face, beautiful, bright, and Godly.
There is a heat in my stomach as I gaze into her eyes. Emotions flood me, but they aren't mine, and they aren't anything like what I have felt of Kane in the past. No, these emotions don't belong to either of us. There is a tranquil sensibility but only for a moment. Quickly a dark fear blankets it, sending chills down my spine. I blink hard, wondering if I am dreaming, tucked neatly in my bed, or awake, seeing what I am meant to see by the souls that haunt me.
When I open my eyes, the Goddess is gone, and my reflection stares back at me. My breath trembles lightly in my throat and I take a quick deep
