the camera goes back to newscasters
they are wearing helmets!
16:14
they are shaken but try to remain calm
16:16
16:17
16:20
Earth pushes
16:25
rolls
16:28
hard
with each move
I see
hear and
feel
every board in this house
flex and
bend
braces, adhesives, and cabinet doors
keep our things
in place
but
16:30
the house
16:31
never
16:31
16:32
seems
16:33
to
16:35
stop
16:38
spinning
the landline telephone rings
Father is okay
he says
they’re checking the building
so
he’s not at his computer
his cell phone battery is dead
so
he can’t text
so
he had to stand in line to use a pay phone
he asks about everyone and
house damage
Mother says everyone
everything is okay
electricity
water pipes
gas lines
when I tell him the only thing knocked down is the swallows’ nest
he says, they will rebuild it
but this house shakes a lot like it’s going to fall
he tells me wooden houses are built to move
our house is new and
built well but
tells me to stay under the table or
to go to the fields if I’m worried
and
reminds me what we all know:
to be mindful of falling roof tiles
garden walls
electrical lines, etc.
all trains have stopped and
bus lines are unsure
rails and roads need to be inspected for damage
because Earth is moving
he will walk home
and call on the way
if he finds a pay phone
be careful,
we tell each other
Mother runs out to the fields
mindful of everything
to tell Grandmother
Father is okay
I sit at the table
Earth is not moving
or is it?
16:42
the pendant light swirls
16:43
16:44
then jerks
my phone dings from its drawer
Mother tells me to get the charger too
to keep it charged
to be ready
in case we lose electricity
Yuka texts
no cram school today
my response
describes how I feel
freaked out
dizzy
16:45
swirling is not any
16:47
better than
16:49
shakes
16:49
17:00
17:01
17:03
17:04
17:07
17:10
17:12
we are safe
17:15
17:15
17:16
17:19
under the table
17:27
17:27
17:28
17:31
17:32
17:35
17:35
17:38
17:40
17:40
no crashing
17:43
17:54
17:58
18:04
18:06
18:19
18:20
18:37
18:38
18:55
18:57
19:10
19:15
19:19
19:20
smashing or
19:35
leaking
19:36
19:45
19:46
20:00
20:03
20:07
20:10
20:13
20:16
20:20
is
20:36
20:41
20:44
20:46
THIS
20:56
21:00
21:13
21:15
21:24
21:35
21:49
really
21:56
21:59
22:00
22:03
22:14
22:15
22:16
22:34
22:47
22:56
23:00
real?
23:31
23:44
23:53
23:56
I into a heap
23:57
23:58
DAY 2
00:06
00:07
00:13
am I awake?
00:15
00:19
is the ground moving?
00:22
00:24
00:32
00:42
yes
00:53
02:05
02:08
02:17
02:23
02:30
03:11
again
03:17
03:44
and again
03:45
03:59
and again
did I sleep through some?
04:02
04:02
04:08
04:24
am I dreaming?
04:26
04:31
04:31
04:45
04:46
04:58
05:11
05:23
05:25
05:34
I want to be dreaming
06:34
06:48
under the table
I wake exhausted
Mother is beside me at work
typing
e-mailing
comforting
advising
helping
her foreign clients on
her laptop plugged into the extension cord
next to her
sits
the landline telephone and
next to me
sits
an empty noodle cup
I don’t remember eating
I remember Grandmother checking on us
bringing pickles
filling the hot-water pot
I don’t remember hearing the telephone ring or
Mother talking to Father
a shopkeeper let him use his telephone
she says
he left the office later than he wanted
and
started home later than he wanted
he’s okay
and still on his way
Earth does not move
through breakfast
I put away our cereal bowls and
sit to finish my tea
my mug wobbles
sloshes
07:36
falls over
I grab it
dart under the table
tea runs
spills
drips over the edge
I stay under the table
clutching my mug
08:59
ding
a text from Yuka
09:00
all is still shaky but okay
(some broken dishes)
at her house
Yuka can’t text much
she has to pay attention
to stay on her toes
to be ready
me too, I text
she sends
I text later
no emoji shows my feeling
09:01
I don’t
09:02
feel
09:03
like
09:05
smiling
until
our front gate
opens and closes
Father!
we greet him in the doorway with hugs and kisses and tears
we are shocked to see him
in green glow-in-the-dark sports shoes
with his polished businessman shoes
tied by their laces
dangling around his neck
he bought the only comfortable shoes
left on the shelf
to walk the twenty kilometers home
on his way
shops handed out
food and water
to everyone walking home
he helped put out a pan fire
at a ramen shop kitchen
along the way
he saw
a fallen shop sign
a leaning tree
a broken electrical wire
Father hands me a paper bag
he bought sakura mochi
from a shopkeeper who served him tea
one for me and one for Mother
(Great-grandfather and Grandmother don’t eat sweets)
the house
09:45
10:00
rattles
with each jolt
Father shouts
jumps under the table and
says,
wooden houses shake…
a lot!
I say,
our house must be near a fault line
he says,
all Japan is near a fault line
my face shows him
that was the wrong thing to say
10:04
after more clattering
10:12
shaking
he crawls out
checks gas lines
water pipes and
electrical wires
comes back
looks relieved
he goes out to the fields
checks on Great-grandfather and Grandmother
asks them to stay at our house tonight
he’s thinking
newer
stronger
they’re thinking
older
more trusted
10:24
10:25
Father turns on the TV
he and I stand together
watching
horrified
seeing
scenes of yesterday’s tsunami
along the northeastern coast
for the first time
we see how bad it is
I cannot bear to watch but I cannot turn away
where are the people?
I lose my breath
catch my breath
hold my breath
I search each frame
but
I don’t see anyone
only the ocean
the ocean flowing
over seawalls
the ocean pushing cars, boats, vans
down streets
past shops
into shops
the ocean crushing
a stand of pine trees
the ocean rushing across fields
streets
houses
the ocean splashing
a swirling whirlpool
like it is going down a drain
I look at Father
it is the first time I’ve seen him cry
up there
at 2:46 p.m. Friday afternoon
were students practicing for their choir concert like us?
were kindergartners already home?
were first graders walking home?
were their mothers rushing to find them
to rescue them
to run to higher ground?
were farmers in fields like Great-grandfather and Grandmother?
were people in shops, offices, homes like Father and Mother?
were they worried about things falling on them as they ran?
did everyone escape?
the TV only shows us the ocean moving beyond the shore
then
there are “day after” photos and coverage
people stranded
on school rooftops
people standing
in front of homes
offices
shops
ripped from their foundations
boats and cars
on top of or inside
buildings and houses barely standing
people separated from their family
from their friends
from their community
people looking for people
people alone
one pine
stands
alone
each tree beside it
washed away with the ocean
one lone
